This bit isn't fun either
K_LeeB
Member Posts: 6 ✭
Everyone around me expects me to be party central three weeks after finishing treatment. I thought I'd be happy too.
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Comments
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@K_LeeB
Well they can party! You are not required to. You’ve had a not fun time and you need some space to think about it, reflect and let it go. Party central may come later but even then it might not. You’ve finished treatment, you’re not ‘over it’. You will be happier and you will feel a sense of achievement but it takes time. Anyone who’s been through it will understand, just tell the others how lucky they are not to understand. Best wishes.5 -
@K_LeeB ... well done on completing your treatment - I hope you managed to have a celebration to mark the ocassion.
Yes, sadly a lot of folk think that it is all over when the treatment 'stops' - but it doesn't really stop for at least another 5 years (if you are on Hormone Suppressing Tablets) ..... It's been such a treadmill since detection, it is tricky to step off it & try & get back to 'normal life' .... but it WILL come to a time when you revert back to 'relatively normal' - it just takes time.
Try & keep busy - get back into your hobbies or maybe even start some new hobbies! You may even make lots of new friends, as there is the distinct possibility that some of your old friends may 'fall by the wayside' as they DON'T really understand what you've been thru.
And our Bullshit Meters are usually a bit 'lower' than before - I don't put up with that trivial crap anymore .....
Do what is right for you xxx. You know best xx. take care4 -
@K_LeeB I totally understand how you are feeling and it is not uncommon to feel the way you do. Once you have the diagnosis you get swept along in the treatment and the appointments, all while trying to process exactly what on earth happened. Now that craziness has stopped, no longer are you heading to the hospital, speaking to doctors and nurses, trying to understand all the medical terms etc, there is now a type of stillness. I felt a bit like I had been spat out the other end and was just exhausted and there are days where I still ask, ‘what the hell happened’. Take your time and walk to your own rhythm. Just as we had to process that initial diagnosis, I think this part can be just as challenging, but in different ways. I for one didn’t really anticipate how I would feel when the active treatment was done. Take care. X5
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Yeah, @K_LeeB it's really not that easy, is it?
Heaps of us have had a bit of a post treatment melt down.
It's not unusual, after months of carefully keeping everything together, to completely loose your shit and have a monster tantrum because the wheelie bin lid is up. Or because the other drivers are all idiots. Or because the thing you cleaned yesterday is dusty again.
Ditto ferocious crying jags because of...pretty much anything.
One of my other favourites is feeling disappointed about feeling disappointed.
It's an emotional and hormonal rollercoaster. Having folk assume that once you are no longer a walking science experiment who looks like they are rehearsing for a job as a Halloween decoration, you are magically 'all better' is not helpful. Buggered if I know how to make that stop.
Time seems to be the only remedy. It's easier to feel happy when something good happens, rather than when something bad stops.
MXX7 -
I have heard that it can take double the time after our active treatment to start to feel somewhat "normal". For me that was the case, I had 18 months of active treatment, so that means 36 months to start to feel I can "sort of" move forward. For me that was May this year. It can be a long haul, but don't be hard on yourself, and don't listen to those that expect you should be over it by now! This stuff is exhausting, just be kind to yourself and you don't need to explain to anyone. True, it isn't fun! But eventually you find your own comfort zone, and your OWN timeframe, it really can be an assault on the body and mind, what we have been through. Best wishes. xx4
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I came through Mastectomy, 20 weeks Chemo and 5 weeks Radiotherapy, as well as possible i believe.
But I felt my tiredest just after Chemo finished, So much so I also asked if this was normal on this site.
I believe it was an accumulative effect. Celebrate your way. You've done it. Congratulations.5 -
This is all so true. I finished chemo / had surgery a few months back and am still in active treatment. I can't stand the trivial bollocks that people come out with and I cry a lot, especially when thinking about how much I love my children. We've all been through so much and people who haven't just can't get it.
I'm seeing a psychologist and working through my fears, but I think it will just take time.
You are awesome and strong, but are allowed to cry. Our poor bodies have had to put up with so much.
I hope everyone enjoys Christmas
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Absolutely, @Camembear (LOVE the name!!) Yep, my 'bullshit' level is now almost next to zero, after what we've all been thru ..... and rightfully so. Sometimes my eyebrows speak louder than my words ...... they say 'WTF'?? "Are you for REAL?"
That's great that you are getting help ..... they will be able to give you coping mechanisms - and life DOES slowly return to a 'new normal' ..... it does just take time.
I hope that you are able to enjoy Xmas/New Year with the kids & family & friends (covid willing) and make 'lots of wonderful memories' with them.
take care xxx3 -
You've got us on the forum, we get it and never judge....just smile and don't allow the comments to sit in your thoughts
Best wishes for Christmas and the coming New Year!4 -
Hi I just passed the 12 month anniversary of completion of my “active “ treatment ( radiotherapy) although I am now on Letrazole for at least 5 years.
I had a big cry session on the actual anniversary day because of course you never really return to “ normal” after a BC diagnosis.
People who haven’t been there can never really get that no matter how well meaning they may be.
There will always be grief at the loss of your former “ bulletproof” self.
But I have tried to look on the bright side of things - I had excellent Doctors and a good prognosis and life is otherwise pretty good.4
