Counselling support & depression on Tamoxifen

hsk

Hi! I have been cancer free for 3 years and have noticed recently that I’m getting bouts of really bad depression and think it is before I have my period. Is anyone else dealing with this whilst on Tamoxifen??
Also, whilst going through treatment, I just went through the motions until I got through it all, worked throughout everything until it all went back to “normal” and now I think I need to seek counselling this all, as I don’t think I ever gave a chance for myself to process everything. Has anyone else seen a counsellor  post cancer and how did you go about it? Are there any specific services?? Thanks! 

FLClover

Hello @hsk. 

I’ve been through main surgery (nipple/skin sparing DMX) and treatment. In April I was supposed to have my left nipple removed for DCIS after my main surgery. Things happened, I changed surgeons, and I’ve yet to have it removed. It’s booked for Friday actually. For the last few months I’ve been battling in a way to avoid this nipple being removed, which didn’t make sense to me as it’s just a nipple, especially after already losing both my breasts. I started seeing a really good psychologist a few months ago to help me deal with the whole situation since diagnosis. Only in today’s session was I finally able to pinpoint my need to keep my left nipple - it was my daughter’s preferred breast (leftie) when I was breastfeeding her, and after already losing my milk ducts in the mastectomies, my nipples are the last parts remaining of those beautiful moments and memories I have of breastfeeding her. For me, those moments were some of my favourite during those two years I breastfed her. We created a very special bond then. 

Even though this knowledge was in me somewhere, it took all these months and psyche sessions to finally consciously acknowledge that, and it happened during today’s session. I couldn’t stop crying. All my unprocessed emotions of losing my breasts, and the special meaning attached to them because of my daughter, were catching up with me, as well as the fact I won’t be able to breastfeed any more children I might have. My psychologist also did a beautiful mindfulness and gratitude exercise during which I acknowledged and accepted, then thanked my sorrow towards losing my breasts, then thanked them for all they’d done for me. 

That’s just a very small part of everything else I’ve been dealing with this year since my diagnosis in Feb. I didn’t do this before my DMX and now I’m feeling all the regret and grief over losing my breasts, or rather the tissue and ducts etc that were inside my skin. There are so many other emotions that I also didn’t process, partly because I didn’t have time and partly because it was too overwhelming at the time. That’s why I’m doing it now, slowly, step at a time. It’s tiring but it’s also relieving and freeing. 

So I think that psychologists should pretty much be mandatory, and free, for all cancer patients. I need to emphasise they should be GOOD. Mine is brilliant and I found her through my medical oncologist at the Kinghorn in Sydney. I asked to see one when I finished radiation and they organised it for me. It’s a free service. I can’t even put in words how much this woman has helped me. Please try to find one for yourself, and this goes to all women who are struggling for whatever reason. Even if it seems small and silly, like my nipple, it’s probably not. There’s always something behind it that needs dealing with. Seeing someone means you love and respect yourself enough to seek the help you need. It’s not weak, it’s actually very strong. I’d try by asking your GP or your oncologist for a recommendation and referral. 

Good luck, I hope it sorts out for you 🍀♥️.
Mon Xx

Cath62

Hi @hsk, I think most of us need some sort of counselling. Why wouldn't we need that. It's all a big deal and there are lots of emotional issues to deal with.  BC is such a ride from diagnosis to surgery, chemo, radium and pills. There isn't alot of time to process it while that heavy duty treatment is happening. The so called 'normal' is exactly the time to take stock and seek emotional support from a professional. You might want to consider seeing you GP for a care plan to a psychologist or call the bcna nurses to talk to them. Best wishes. Be kind to yourself. 

Greengirl

I have seen a psychologist and found it worthwhile.Go to your GP to get a mental health care plan.You can get 10 visits now under MHCP. I was fine for about 7 months after my diagnosis then it felt like someone put the hand break on and everything became a huge effort.I didn’t even have chemo only surgery and radiotherapy. I’m on Tamoxifen also. All the best.Your not alone x 

Tasia

@hsk - Hi, I agree with the above posts and the value of seeking professional support. BC takes us on a fast paced voyage - leaving little to no time to pause and check in with our emotional and mental wellness.The physical/pathological is the immediate focus and hence, the ʻotherʻ remains silent waiting to be addressed and healed, quietly, slowly and gently.
I have to remind myself of this importance daily. My warmest, kindest thoughts to you and all xx