Friday Update From The Roller Coaster!

LoisLois

While I sit here at the top of my Roller Coaster, with my ear phones belting out Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing", I thought I would update the week that was....

I have even handed over the Remote Control to the Hubby....He has been watching some monotonous toned show about some equally monotonously boring hypothetical evolution of The Mayan.  (Are you asleep yet from reading that?) Imagine me prior to the headphones, being held hostage because my computer is in the lounge room!!!!!  L..M.A.O.

Poor Man, he has had a seriously rough week and finally let out all his worry and stress after me quietly asking him too - so I gave him the remote control.   I know, I am a good wife but he is bloody Amazing!! 

Monday, I woke up to TWO things:  1. A brand new song in my head.  2. Pathology / Scan Day

1.  Seriously, a new damn song!

If I didn't know myself so well,.....I might have the inclination to believe, Lois needed some meds or intervention! L.M.A.O.  Even, I had to take a moment to elevate the relevance of this latest song - simply because the title has so many connotations!

I got woken to The Gorgeous tones of Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibbs singing "STAYING ALIVE".

Minus the luscious image of a very gorgeous young John Travolta Strutting down the streets of New York.  (Disappointment).  So, while the Gibb Men belted out the song, i laid there, thinking about the title, the lyrics.  I believe in fighting for my life, my family, my beliefs, my moral code and have always advocated for the underdog through situations in my life - I am going to "Stay Alive" and walk the streets of my life journey, head held high and give it all my determination, strength and courage.          

                                                                        Staying Alive, Staying Alive...yeah!

2. The Bone Scan / Pathology meeting.

the Bone Scan was easy - get injected, come back a couple of hours later, lay down, pretend you are on a beach for an hour, get up and leave. I was in agony with my arms being placed behind my head but least this radiologist tried helping me ease the pain with pillows.  

1 pm: I met with the Surgeon and Breast Care Nurse. Got belted into my seat and prepared for being blasted out into a momentary flash of "wow I can cope with that view, before hurtling off at warp speed into diabolical, death defying angles.....of my roller Coaster.

First words I got greeted with: Wow, we did not expect "Brian" to be so H.U.G.E.!  or get 4 Positive nodes!"

You and Me both!

the C.T. full body scan showed I was clear of any metastases to the organs - YOU know the relief that brings! -

the bone scan imagery "looked all clear" but within an hour of leaving the appointment, I was being told I was having a P.E.T. Scan done Thursday, because it was "ambiguous."  Polite term for: Oh Geez, I seriously can't make my mind up and I am feeling slightly overwhelmed with having to make a decision - right now!   As my kids would say: YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!  lol.

The appointment got even better:- Any thought of "escaping" with a lumpectomy and a zap of radiation went out the door.

Instead, I have been upgraded to the Penthouse Suite - Mastectomy of the left breast, complete removal of nodes, chemotherapy and radiation. Discussions about: time frames, surgery, Oncology teams, hospital appointments and mastectomy bras, scars, healing, chemotherapy (that was an eye opener!) and what seemed like a brain overload of info - all within an hour.

However, one discussion brought up a slight bit of "Doctor - I could cheerfully smack you over the head".....being left with one size 22DD boob hanging off my chest wall and why the hell I cant just get both removed NOW!  yes, yes, I know the cancer is the primary occupant to be evicted but seriously, the absurdity of the "look", "weight born on one side' and yes, I will admit - that one boob being a constant reminder.  I left there feeling relieved, frustrated and feeling like I could have sunk at least 8 very stiff, dry Martinis with super ease!!!!!!!   

Another few days sitting at the top of the roller Coaster, while I wait for the results to the P.E.T. scan and surgery date for the mastectomy. 

So, as I sign off.....I leave you with a Song title "Better Together" by Jack Johnson!  My Life is always better spent together with my man and family. 

Big Hugs,

Lois (who has also been making Chicken Noodle Soup, while listening to music in the kitchen!)

 

Afraser

Lovely writing! And many thanks for Staying Alive - a good song for everything these days. 
Sorry your diagnosis is not a bit lighter and easier, but it is what it is and best to start treatment sooner rather than later. As an 18DD who had a single mastectomy, and no reconstruction, you adapt quicker than you would think but it wasn’t till I finally got a prosthesis fitted instead of a soft pad (12 months with a very large seroma) that I realised how out of whack my back was! Recovered very quickly though. 
The busy-ness of the next few months is helpful for most people, you get immersed in doing and not so much reflecting. Time for that later. 
Best wishes the next stages and thanks for reminding me - I soaked barley last night, time to make the soup!