An Onerous Life
PatsyN
Member Posts: 296 ✭
Once I was declared clear of cancer in April 2018, 1 year after diagnosis, I slowly dropped out of the BCNA forum.
I found every new story to be more distressing than the last and I couldn't hold back the tears to read.
I felt I had nothing further to offer other than negative things, my life was not getting any prettier.
I took Arimidex for 8 months after treatment finished and ended up psychotic. I felt better the day after I stopped. That part of the treatment I'd say, was the worst.
You get told you're clear of cancer but there's one final indignity - anastrozole - taking that was worse than chemo and radiation combined.
So today I met with my oncologist for the last time. I will take nothing that he can prescribe, and he had a few on offer, including more scans.
My current condition is not chemo related so I should continue to see my GP and psychiatrist, is what he said.
I said that I thought my current condition was completely chemo related and we agreed to differ.
We did agree that he had nothing further to offer me in view of my stance and then we said goodbye.
My GP considers me as a palliative care patient, his prescriptions are much more user friendly!
I still go to my horse every day, I can't settle until I get to him, my beautiful magic unicorn.
Other than that I have no curiosity for the people in my surroundings and avoid personal contact except wherever necessary.
But it's not chemo related so goodbye forum. I've got something else - the oncologist told me so.
I found every new story to be more distressing than the last and I couldn't hold back the tears to read.
I felt I had nothing further to offer other than negative things, my life was not getting any prettier.
I took Arimidex for 8 months after treatment finished and ended up psychotic. I felt better the day after I stopped. That part of the treatment I'd say, was the worst.
You get told you're clear of cancer but there's one final indignity - anastrozole - taking that was worse than chemo and radiation combined.
So today I met with my oncologist for the last time. I will take nothing that he can prescribe, and he had a few on offer, including more scans.
My current condition is not chemo related so I should continue to see my GP and psychiatrist, is what he said.
I said that I thought my current condition was completely chemo related and we agreed to differ.
We did agree that he had nothing further to offer me in view of my stance and then we said goodbye.
My GP considers me as a palliative care patient, his prescriptions are much more user friendly!
I still go to my horse every day, I can't settle until I get to him, my beautiful magic unicorn.
Other than that I have no curiosity for the people in my surroundings and avoid personal contact except wherever necessary.
But it's not chemo related so goodbye forum. I've got something else - the oncologist told me so.
0
Comments
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Bye Patsy. You've been on my mind for a while. I hope life treats you more kindly now. Marg xxx1
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You have to choose the path that's right for you, Patsy. Best wishes for the future and you know the forum's always here if you want to check in.1
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Hi @PatsyN,
I was only thinking about you the other day. It is one of the shittiest parts of this thing. The long term chemo effects, the horrible HT that effects so manu aspects of your life, the lack of understanding from some of the doctors that prescribe it. We know our own bodies and what is right and wrong yet a lot of the times things are dismissed. It's like their part is over and the interest moves on to their new paitents.
You have made the right decision for you and that is all we can do. I wish you and your pony all the best lovely.
xoxoxoxo2 -
Just remember we are here if you need us. Many if us get how hard survivorship is. I hope a year from now things seem a little lighter. Take care. X1
