Two weeks ago as I am walking in the shopping centre, a stranger looks at me and then makes a rude comment as she passed. Last week it happened again. Today, yep, another total stranger used a few choice words on my appearance as he was passing. I almost want to wax my head and eyebrows and put my chemo cap back on. My daughter put this picture of the top of my head on Facebook and everyone loved it. Passing judgement is really not acceptable.

What the....? When my hair grew back, I looked like a crazed poodle. Might have acted like one too if anyone had passed rude remarks in my hearing. What on earth is happening to common civility? I pass lots of clothes, hairdos, make up I personally don’t like but don’t feelentitled to remark on, certainly not in front of the owner. It’s not passing judgement (they don’t have that knowledge or authority) it’s just plain rudeness and indifference.

Your'e a better person than I @Blossom1961 I wouldn't have been able to keep my big mouth shut. I hate rudeness and people passing judgement on others they don't know or even deign to understand. All I can say is focus on those which love and adore you and keep you uplifted. I generally find people who do pass judgement have low self esteem about themselves. If there is one thing I have learnt about this shit fest of a disease it is that I have made a point to try and remove all negativity from my life and surround myself with awesome people who make me laugh. Life's to bloody short to even give people like that any ounce of your mind space. Big hugs from North Qld xox

@Blossom1961 You poor thing. Your story is too familar to a lot of people dealing with all the lows that come from this disease. I attended the BCNA Conference in Adelaide last weekend & we had a brilliant speaker Dr Charlotte Tottman, physcologist, who also spoke candidly about her own story. She is a BC survivor so is going through her own battles as well as helping others through theirs. She was in the airport one day with her husband & heard a man call her a "she man". He didnt know she could hear him & Charlottle's hubbie didnt hear either but she wanted the ground to open up & swallow her as she felt so embarrassed & hurt. A lady in front of me started crying as she too has had that happen to her. Charlotte is a beautiful strong woman & it is a testament to her resilience, that she can speak about her story to try & help others. There are many cruel people in this world & maybe one day they will have a wife, daughter or mother going through cancer & then they will know what it's like. Try to be strong, my dear, as your friends & family are the ones that matter & those that have stood by you through this, will be your rock. love & hugs xx

Both of you @Blossom1961 & @kmakm. Your hair looks fabulous! It is so beautiful and thick.

Personally, I'm at a loss to understand why they would pass any remarks. Bald from chemo, I get - bloody rude of course, but I get it. Maybe they don't like your "choice" of style but, really? I like to think that I wouldn't have ignored it but I suspect the shock would be enough to dumbfound me.When I went back to work, I wore a wig for the first week as my hair (post it's first after-chemo clip) was only a few mms long and a bit patchy. I couldn't stand working in the wig so the second week I went au naturel. Very short, patchy and an ugly grey colour. Eighteen hundred teenagers never batted an eyelid except for one lovely boy who complimented me on my new haircut (obviously been told at home to recognise when a woman gets her hair cut). They never knew that I had had cancer or chemo and a few hundred of them had never even met me before.@blossom1961 Some people are just a blight on the Earth.

Differing opinions | BCNA Online Network

15 Replies

Artferret
Member
7 years ago
@Blossom1961
You have a lovely head of hair! I don't get some people particularly when they are being downright rude. Hugs Cath
Sister
Member
7 years ago
Personally, I'm at a loss to understand why they would pass any remarks. Bald from chemo, I get - bloody rude of course, but I get it. Maybe they don't like your "choice" of style but, really? I like to think that I wouldn't have ignored it but I suspect the shock would be enough to dumbfound me.

When I went back to work, I wore a wig for the first week as my hair (post it's first after-chemo clip) was only a few mms long and a bit patchy. I couldn't stand working in the wig so the second week I went au naturel. Very short, patchy and an ugly grey colour. Eighteen hundred teenagers never batted an eyelid except for one lovely boy who complimented me on my new haircut (obviously been told at home to recognise when a woman gets her hair cut). They never knew that I had had cancer or chemo and a few hundred of them had never even met me before.

@blossom1961 Some people are just a blight on the Earth.
tigerbeth
Member
7 years ago
What the hell is wrong with some people !!!
I hope your ok , your hair looks amazing as does Kate's !!
Your a wonderful person & don't deserve that sort of crap
I agree with @zoffiel
please have a wonderful weekend & hope to catch up soon xx
Zoffiel
Member
7 years ago
Fuck them. They deserve a kick up the clacker.
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
Thank you @"Patti J". In my (pretty shitty) genetic lottery I won when it came to the hair. It's thick and we go grey late! K xox
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
Let's put our heads together (literally!) next week and do a photo, twinny! I promise I don't have lice! K xox ;)
Blossom1961
Member
7 years ago
@kmakm Hair twins!
Blossom1961
Member
7 years ago
Thank you ladies. The first time it happened I presumed I misunderstood and was being sensitive. The second time I was a bit perplexed and thought maybe I was just imagining it. Then when it happened today I wasn’t sure what to think. So this is what I decided. They could see what a wonderful person I am so they were just off loading but didn’t mean it as an insult to me. I can live with that! 😍
Patti_J
Member
7 years ago
Both of you @Blossom1961 & @kmakm. Your hair looks fabulous! It is so beautiful and thick.
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
WTAF??

Your hair looks almost exactly like mine, so not only am I astounded and upset that this has happened to you, but also personally insulted as well! What is wrong with these people?

FFS