Bittersweet!

CathyMac

Hello warrior friends, I need to vent! Today my eldest left our nest in Canberra bound for Sydney and i just can't stop crying. Bloody f...ed up cancer😡 I so want to be with him today to help him unpack and set up his new home but instead I'm at home feeling like crap after chemo number 2 on Monday and only 14 to go☹️F...ed up cancer took away our beautiful 9 week holiday we were meant to have in Dec/Jan as a family before he embarked on uni and it just keeps taking. The house just feels so empty without him! All my friends have been amazing but they just don't get the really crappy added dimension of dealing with breast cancer on top of it Today I feel totally broken! 
Thanks for listening ❤️

~Millie~

It’s a rough journey, that’s for sure. I’m sorry that you cannot enjoy the things you were looking forward to. Sending you love xx

kmakm

Oh Cathy, I just want to give you a big hug. I'd love to come over and keep you company and distract you with some nonsense or other!

I'm not there yet, but I do know that like most things in life, the empty nest feeling does pass. And the bitter disappointment that you're feeling now will fade into the past. You will take your trip, visit your son, and new happy memories will be laid over these bad ones. It's not comparable as we weren't going overseas, but all my plans for last summer were shot to shit by BC, and I promised myself and the kids that I'd make it up to them this year, and I have.

Let those tears flow. You get to sulk, this is shit! When you're ready you'll stop crying. If you get stuck in the sadness, seek help.

Hang in there lovely. You're doing what you can to have a cancer free life and be there for your son for a long, long time. K xox

Sister

It's just shit, isn't it?  These moments go by so fast.  Like @kmakm, I spent last year railing against the time with my kids taken from me by treatment.  But there will be time in the future and by having the treatment you are doing your best to have that time with them.  But cry if you need to.

SoldierCrab

oh CathyMac I am sorry that the Bitch called BC and its associated treatments are impacting you like this.... 

Can you look at a trip when this is over and son is on Uni break I promise you Uni semesters are short... My daughter is in 4th year and she seems to have more breaks that Uni at times.... she finished in early October and doesn't go back until the first week in March ..... 

It is ok to be pissed off by  this constant upheaval of well laid plans for your family. but as the others have said ... it will finish and you will have given it your best go at being around for a long long time..... 

I would also say that during treatment our emotions are so fragile and volatile to begin with never mind that you have had to sit back while he leaves the nest when in fact you want to be a part of this step out of the nest.... 

Try to focus on the fact that soon treatment will be over and he will enjoy visits from you with Meals and food that can be a luxury for Uni students... You will make memories and remember he is proud of you.... for doing the hard yards to be here longer....

Hugs 
soldiercrab

arpie

Big hugs, @CathyMac  - I can feel your heartbreak and the silence in the house would be deafening.  It is all compounding in the one hit. .... the BC, the lost holiday and now your son flying the nest .... so your sadness is not only normal, it is expected.  

I hope you are able to factor some visits in when you are able ... and in the mean time, there is Skype and FaceTime .... he can walk you thru his new ‘digs’ so you can see them first hand and meet his flat mates ..... 

all the best xxxxx

CathyMac

Thank you lovelies for your very sage words! I am climbing out of the hole I had fallen into today and I will so look forward to being through treatment so I can visit hIm. In the meantime I will busy myself getting his room ready for when he returns to visit. Which I hope won't be too far away.