Hi Girls, I am new to the network. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in September 2010 at the age of 33 when my son was just 14 months old . I had a lumpectomy one year ago today followed by six rounds of (TCH) chemo then a bi-lateral mastectomy and full implant reconstruction. I am receiving Hercepton (just a few to go) and have been taking tamoxifen for the past few months. I am desparate to connect with other young women with similar experiences - sometimes I feel very alone in my BC journey. Friends and family have been very supportive but I now feel broken inside and a far cry from the carefree happy person I was before. It's difficult to know where I fit in after fading from the scene for a year and part of me just wants to live in my little family bubble with my husband and my son because I feel like I have missed out on so much of my sons short life. I'm teary all the time and highly sensitive to everyones comments I feel unattractive and angry at the world. My husband is extremely supportive and strong despite the fact I am so highly charged and snappy at him all the time. I have been on tamoxifen for a few months and my moods are out of control, my estrogen is still too high (still getting my period) and so I am going to be put back on zoladex which I found terrible through chemo and know certainly this could intensify my side effects even more. I have long considered going on anti-depressants to help with the hot flushes and in the hope it will take the edge off with regard to my emotions. I would be interested to find out who has found some inner peace by going down this path?

Thank you Tonya for your reply. I really do feel as though I have lost myself and it's good to know that I am not alone in feeling this way. It is hard when you loose everything about yourself that makes you feel feminine. Thank you for the advice on the antidpressant I feel it might be time to give it a go - I'm sure I can't feel any worse. Thanks again for taking the time to respond I appreciate allot ; ) xxx

Thanks Sam for your reply. I am really excited about joining the network - it's something I should have done a long time ago. I think it could help me a great deal - it's nice to know there are others I can connect with who feel just like I do. It has been a struggle for me to find a support network here in Brisbane for young women but I did attend my first one last night it was not as sociable as I had expected but I am definately going to keep it up. Any suggestions from yourself would be greatly appreciated - in the meantime it's nice to know you and others are here xx

Yes, welcome to the site. I live in Rockhampton and my daughters live in Brisbane. BC is such a nuisance and can be such a soul destroyer if you let it. When I see someone like yourself I immediately think of my daughers and I am so thankful that it is me with bc and not them. At my age I am over caring what others think and even though I like to stay looking nice , I understand the pressures that were on me at your age. BC will make you wiser though and you will care less about the things that are really not worth worrying about. I am pleased to read that you are supported by a loving husband and you have a lovely little one. I am sorry that the support group you attended did not "measure up" for you. Maybe there is another one you could check out. What about looking for a dragonboat club? Our group of BC survivors started up our own dragonboat club. It is such a fun and social thing to be involved in. I know that there are quite a few groups in Brisbane. Please don't feel alone as this network has so many lovely ladies on it who are only too willing to support you and each other. I wish I could offer you more information. Have you checked out the Online Directory on this site to find support groups for young women? Take as much care of yourself as you can. XLeonie

Welcome to the online network! Just thought you might like to know that BCNA has just developed a new information booklet that has a section on dealing with hot flushes, that you might like to check out. The booklet is called Breast Cancer and Sexual Wellbeing and the section on managing hot flushes is on pages 21, and 22. Hope you find this information helpful! You can order a copy of the booklet through our BCNA shop at www.bcna.org.au > Shop >Information resources > Breast Cancer and Sexual Wellbeing. You can also phone us on 1800 500 258 to get a copy, or alternatively download a copy on our website at www.bcna.org.au > Living with breast cancer > sexual wellbeing. All the best, Astrid

New here - need advice?? | BCNA Online Network

16 Replies

BC101
Member
14 years ago
Thank you Lee - I think allot of my saddness did come from not being able to care for my son and the fear of his life without me in it. And lots of anger now about this happening to me at a stage in my life that should be golden and beautiful enjoying my first child and building my life with my husband and the choice of having more children taken away from me. It certainly puts things into perspective. I am glad you and your family jhave come through the other side and you can show that life does get better. I am going to start taking my new anti-depressants today (I'm quite excited) my oncologist told me she had been wondering when I was going to ask for them!! Thanks so much for your reply and advice and sorry I have not been able to write sooner we have just had house guests staying in my computer room... take care xx
BC101
Member
14 years ago
Thanks Ann- Marie it's nice tyo hear from you - and goodluck with your surgery next month it's a long road but the results are worth it xx
BC101
Member
14 years ago
Oh thank you Josie - I have just seen my oncologist and have a prescription to try I am quite excited. I feel like I have a massive lumnp in my throat all the time and once something happens BAM! I just burst into tears. It's weird with friends and family I felt closer to them all going thru it and now I feel different - kind of distant and I feel like everyones expectation is that it's time to move on and they no longer understand. So thank you for your comments - thanks to everyone xxx
BC101
Member
14 years ago
Thank you Astrid x
BC101
Member
14 years ago
Thank you Leonie for your lovely reply - I might look into Dragon Boating at some stage. Appreciate ; ) x
BC101
Member
14 years ago
Thank you Sarah - this looks good. I will investigate. xx
Ann-Marie_AK
Member
14 years ago
Hi BC101

Welcome to the network - it's a great place to share how you are feeling - good or bad. I have found the ladies here so supportive, understanding and very helpful.

I was diagnosed in March this year and have not long finished chemo. I will be starting on tamoxifen after my reconstrucive surgery in November. I am already experiencing the hot flushes and riding the emotional roller coaster. It's been a really hard year but I am getting through - more good days than bad at the moment.

I understand exactly how you feel when you talk about being alone even though you have great family and friends. Hopefully the support and from everyone here will help you feel less alone and more understood.

Take care

Ann-Marie x
JJoy
Member
14 years ago
Hi BC, Just want to touch base with you, I have been through the lumpecomy, mastectomy, chemo, radio & now on Herceptin - so I know where you are coming from, I am older than you - but pain, frustration and fear has no age limits. Come on this site when ever you want, vent your fears and frustrations - and lighter moments! This site is the ONE PLACE where everyone knows where you are coming from - we are certainly on the same page! I am taking anti-depressants and sometimes have to resort to the odd half a sleeping tablet - what I find most difficult to deal with on top of everything else is the attitude some friends and family display - well my darling, you will only get mountains of support here - as they say on BCNA, we are all in the club nobody wanted to join - however, the people in this club will back you up all the way and we all know what you are going through - so here's a big fat hug from ME! lots of love Josie x x x
LeeS
Member
14 years ago
HI. I have my boys at home and ready for lunch so I'll write again tonight. I have lots in common with you as well as differences but I'm sure a chat will help. Sorry i CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW! Before I sign off for now though I just want to say that you are SOOOO normal! OMG...I'm ashamed as I remember a few out of control moments due to my hormones and medication etc ect!- BUT, speaking to others in a similar situation has made me accept that it wasn't me and it is a common side-effect. We just do what we can to get through each day. Take care and chat soon, Lee. x
LeeS
Member
14 years ago
HI. I have my boys at home and ready for lunch so I'll write again tonight. I have lots in common with you as well as differences but I'm sure a chat will help. Sorry i CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW! Before I sign off for now though I just want to say that you are SOOOO normal! OMG...I'm ashamed as I remember a few out of control moments due to my hormones and medication etc ect!- BUT, speaking to others in a similar situation has made me accept that it wasn't me and it is a common side-effect. We just do what we can to get through each day. Take care and chat soon, Lee. x