New here - need advice??

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BC101
BC101 Member Posts: 11
edited October 2011 in General discussion

Hi Girls,

I am new to the network. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in September 2010 at the age of 33 when my son was just 14 months old . I  had a lumpectomy one year ago today followed by six rounds of (TCH) chemo then a bi-lateral mastectomy and full implant reconstruction. I am receiving Hercepton (just a few to go) and have been taking tamoxifen for the past few months.

 I am desparate to connect with other young women with similar experiences - sometimes I feel very alone in my BC journey.  Friends and family have been very supportive but I now feel broken inside and a far cry from the carefree happy person I was before. It's difficult to know where I fit in after fading from the scene for a year and part of me just wants to live in my little family bubble with my husband and my son because I feel like I have missed out on so much of my sons short life.

I'm teary all the time and highly sensitive to everyones comments I feel unattractive and angry at the world. My husband is extremely supportive and strong despite the fact I am so highly charged and snappy at him all the time.

I have been on tamoxifen for a few months and my moods are out of control, my estrogen is still too high (still getting my period) and so I am going to be put back on zoladex which I found terrible through chemo and know certainly this could intensify my side effects even more.

I have long considered going on anti-depressants to help with the hot flushes and in the hope it will take the edge off with regard to my emotions.  I would be interested to find out who has found some inner peace by going down this path?

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  • BC101
    BC101 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2015
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    Thank you Tonya for your reply. I really do feel as though I have lost myself and it's good to know that I am not alone in feeling this way. It is hard when you loose everything about yourself that makes you feel feminine. Thank you for the advice on the antidpressant I feel it might be time to give it a go - I'm sure I can't feel any worse.

    Thanks again for taking the time to respond I appreciate allot ; ) xxx

  • BC101
    BC101 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2015
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    Thanks Sam for your reply. I am really excited about joining the network - it's something I should have done a long time ago. I think it could help me a great deal - it's nice to know there are others I can connect with who feel just like I do. It has been a struggle for me to find a support network here in Brisbane for young women but I did attend my first one last night it was not as sociable as I had expected but I am definately going to keep it up. Any suggestions from yourself would be greatly appreciated - in the meantime it's nice to know you and others are here xx

  • Leonie Moore
    Leonie Moore Member Posts: 1,470 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Yes, welcome to the site.  I live in Rockhampton and my daughters live in Brisbane.  BC is such a nuisance and can be such a soul destroyer if you let it.  When I see someone like yourself I immediately think of my daughers and I am so thankful that it is me with bc and not them.  At my age I am over caring what others think and even though I like to stay looking nice , I understand the pressures that were on me at your age.  BC will make you wiser though and you will care less about the things that are really not worth worrying about.  I am pleased to read that you are supported by a loving husband and you have a lovely little one.  I am sorry that the support group you attended did not "measure up" for you.  Maybe there is another one you could check out.  What about looking for a dragonboat club?  Our group of BC survivors started up our own dragonboat club.  It is such a fun and social thing to be involved in.  I know that there are quite a few groups in Brisbane.  Please don't feel alone as this network has so many lovely ladies on it who are only too willing to support you and each other.  I wish I could offer you more information.  Have you checked out the Online Directory on this site to find support groups for young women?  Take as much care of yourself as you can. XLeonie

  • Leonie Moore
    Leonie Moore Member Posts: 1,470 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Yes, welcome to the site.  I live in Rockhampton and my daughters live in Brisbane.  BC is such a nuisance and can be such a soul destroyer if you let it.  When I see someone like yourself I immediately think of my daughers and I am so thankful that it is me with bc and not them.  At my age I am over caring what others think and even though I like to stay looking nice , I understand the pressures that were on me at your age.  BC will make you wiser though and you will care less about the things that are really not worth worrying about.  I am pleased to read that you are supported by a loving husband and you have a lovely little one.  I am sorry that the support group you attended did not "measure up" for you.  Maybe there is another one you could check out.  What about looking for a dragonboat club?  Our group of BC survivors started up our own dragonboat club.  It is such a fun and social thing to be involved in.  I know that there are quite a few groups in Brisbane.  Please don't feel alone as this network has so many lovely ladies on it who are only too willing to support you and each other.  I wish I could offer you more information.  Have you checked out the Online Directory on this site to find support groups for young women?  Take as much care of yourself as you can. XLeonie

  • Astrid
    Astrid Member Posts: 12
    edited March 2015
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    Welcome to the online network! Just thought you might like to know that BCNA has just developed a new information booklet that has a section on dealing with hot flushes, that you might like to check out. The booklet is called Breast Cancer and Sexual Wellbeing and the section on managing hot flushes is on pages 21, and 22. Hope you find this information helpful!

     

    You can order a copy of the booklet through our BCNA shop at www.bcna.org.au > Shop >Information resources > Breast Cancer and Sexual Wellbeing. You can also phone us on 1800 500 258 to get a copy, or alternatively download a copy on our website at www.bcna.org.au > Living with breast cancer > sexual wellbeing.

     

    All the best,

    Astrid

  • Sarah 51
    Sarah 51 Member Posts: 303 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Am not sure what part of Brisbane you are in but in the Redclffe area they have a group called Warrior Mummies

     

     


    WARRIOR MUMMIES

    DATE

    Thursday 13th October
    TIME

    10.30 a.m.
    CONTACT

    Shirley 3283 5663 or Areti 3283 8846

    I have just copied and pasted the info from the Moreton bay BC Newsletter, it might be useful.

    There is also a young group that meet at Chermside library but don't know anymore details - sorry.

    Leonie also mentioned Dragon Boat paddling too which I took up in May /June time this year and that is so much fun I belong to the Redcliffe Pink Snapdragons but there is a group in Brisbane called the Brisbane River Dragons .

    I was also suffering with the hot flashes and sweating  from tamoxifen tolerated it for 6 months but have just had my oncologist put me on a very low dose of effixor 37.5 mg and it is definitely helping the symptoms. Good luck, hope you find some new outlets.

     

    Sarahx

  • LeeS
    LeeS Member Posts: 128 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    HI. I have my boys at home and ready for lunch so I'll write again tonight. I  have lots in common with you as well as differences but I'm sure a chat will help. Sorry i CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW! Before I sign off for now though I just want to say that you are SOOOO normal! OMG...I'm ashamed as I remember a few out of control moments due to my hormones and medication etc ect!- BUT, speaking to others in a similar situation has made me accept that it wasn't  me and it is a common side-effect. We just do what we can to get through each day. Take care and chat soon, Lee. x

  • LeeS
    LeeS Member Posts: 128 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    HI. I have my boys at home and ready for lunch so I'll write again tonight. I  have lots in common with you as well as differences but I'm sure a chat will help. Sorry i CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW! Before I sign off for now though I just want to say that you are SOOOO normal! OMG...I'm ashamed as I remember a few out of control moments due to my hormones and medication etc ect!- BUT, speaking to others in a similar situation has made me accept that it wasn't  me and it is a common side-effect. We just do what we can to get through each day. Take care and chat soon, Lee. x

  • JJoy
    JJoy Member Posts: 350
    edited March 2015
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    Hi BC, Just want to touch base with you, I have been through the lumpecomy, mastectomy, chemo, radio & now on Herceptin - so I know where you are coming from, I am older than you - but pain, frustration and fear has no age limits.  Come on this site when ever you want, vent your fears and frustrations - and lighter moments! This site is the ONE PLACE where everyone knows where you are coming from - we are certainly on the same page! I am taking anti-depressants and sometimes have to resort to the odd half a sleeping tablet - what I find most difficult to deal with on top of everything else is the attitude some friends and family display - well my darling, you will only get mountains of support here - as they say on BCNA, we are all in the club nobody wanted to join - however, the people in this club will back you up all the way and we all know what you are going through - so here's a big fat hug from ME! lots of love Josie x x x 

  • Ann-Marie AK
    Ann-Marie AK Member Posts: 166
    edited March 2015
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    Hi BC101

    Welcome to the network - it's a great place to share how you are feeling - good or bad.  I have found the ladies here so supportive, understanding and very helpful.

    I was diagnosed in March this year and have not long finished chemo.  I will be starting on tamoxifen after my reconstrucive surgery in November. I am already experiencing the hot flushes and riding the emotional roller coaster. It's been a really hard year but I am getting through - more good days than bad at the moment.

    I understand exactly how you feel when you talk about being alone even though you have great family and friends.  Hopefully the support and from everyone here will help you feel less alone and more understood.

    Take care

    Ann-Marie x

  • BC101
    BC101 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2015
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    Thank you Sarah - this looks good. I will investigate. xx

  • BC101
    BC101 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2015
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    Thank you Leonie for your lovely reply - I might look into Dragon Boating at some stage. Appreciate ; ) x

  • BC101
    BC101 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2015
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    Thank you Astrid x

  • BC101
    BC101 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2015
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    Oh thank you Josie - I have just seen my oncologist and have a prescription to try I am quite excited.  I feel like I have a massive lumnp in my throat all the time and once something happens BAM! I just burst into tears. It's weird with friends and family I felt closer to them all going thru it and now I feel different - kind of distant and I feel like everyones expectation is that it's time to move on and they no longer understand. So thank you for your comments - thanks to everyone xxx

  • BC101
    BC101 Member Posts: 11
    edited March 2015
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    Thanks Ann- Marie it's nice tyo hear from you - and goodluck with your surgery next month it's a long road but the results are worth it xx

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