Work

Sweetpetal
Sweetpetal Member Posts: 29 ✭
edited November 2018 in General discussion
How many of you guys got people who were out right hostile to you at work after finding out about your diagnosis??  I have had a staff member make a complaint about me talking about my up coming treatment with another staff member.  Trying to work out if she is just a B&^%h or not.
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  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,443 ✭
    Possibly just very scared. You will possibly discover that your diagnosis can trigger fear in others. Not of you really, but people not wanting to think about something that scares them a lot. Important to remember that they are the one having the problem, not you. Hard to ignore, particulularly with them making a complaint (???) but probably the best thing to do if you can. 
  • CathyMac
    CathyMac Member Posts: 65 ✭
    I think @Afraser is right. I've had all sorts of reactions from people at work. Most just ignore me and say nothing. I would do as above and ignore them.
  • Sweetpetal
    Sweetpetal Member Posts: 29 ✭
    Just find it frustrating, I mean I dont really need to deal with their crap when I have my own going on.  But I'm trying to be the better person and ignore it all
  • Annie C
    Annie C Member Posts: 853 ✭
    @Sweetpetal
    You are the better person. It is their problem - not yours. I too found it hard to deal with what was going on in my BC life without having to placate theirs.

    Ignore it. Not your problem. I made that my mantra- Not My Problem.
  • Annie C
    Annie C Member Posts: 853 ✭
    @Sweetpetal
    Yes yes and more yes!
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,374 ✭

    If its passive aggressive bullshit by people who are not your managers, by all means ignore it if you can. People can be such tossers and I'm sure you have bigger issues to concentrate on at the moment.

     If there is a suggestion you are being discriminated against, that is a different situation altogether. @daina-BCNA is working on a project that will hopefully help those in who are struggling with the work/life/cancer equation. Mxx

  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
    Totally (circus, monkeys etc).
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 ✭
    edited November 2018
    Hi @Sweetpetal -  I love the circus and monkeys comments. :smile: - and I hope you can ignore it and not let it get to you. Some people can be quite insensitive at this time or may not know what to say and as @Afraser mentioned it could have also brought up some issues for her. But I would keep open communication with your manager as they may be able to set up some separate sessions with the team/staff on how best to support you - because that is what you need right now. 

    As @Zoffiel mentioned I have been managing a project around work and breast cancer and if you think your colleague could do with some extra support - to support you (wink) :wink: - you could suggest she visits the work and breast cancer section of our website. Your employer might also get some use out of this as well - https://www.bcna.org.au/work-and-breast-cancer/

    Good luck and lets hope the monkeys behave themselves :-)


    Edited 20/11/2018: Sorry @Sweetpetal / It was the end of the day and I tagged @kmakm instead of you on this comment. I have edited it now.
  • kezmusc
    kezmusc Member Posts: 1,553 ✭
    What on earth have they got to complain about?  Do they think its contagious or something? Some people are just strange critters.
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,443 ✭
    To be honest, I didn't have any issues at work. I worked through, everyone knew I was having chemo, losing my hair etc. I was remarkably well, so it wasn't a big thing and everyone was just fine. But I have known of people treated with either end of the spectrum, either expected never to refer to what's going on or to be treated like complete invalids or worse. If you can make clear how you want to be treated, it helps but just one more thing you have to take on! 
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974 ✭
    @Daina_BCNA It was @Sweetpetal who made the circus/monkeys comment! I was agreeing with it but because it was a couple of posts down, I was clarifying.  :)
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 ✭
    edited November 2018
    @Sweetpetal just be careful how you approach the situation. I recently complained about an issue and my workplace turned it into an issue about me and my situation, rather than the bullying of a man in a more senior position. He targets me for extra work, told my boss I wasn’t coping during chemo and stares at me through windows. I have many more examples of his behaviour which is intimidating. He’s trying to push me to react and it’s all done with a smile. 

    In an effort to support me they have raised personal issues and have discussed my health issues and have not followed confidentiality protocols. Ultimately he is out to bully and intimidate me and I have no way to stop him from doing this. It is very distressing. 
  • Sweetpetal
    Sweetpetal Member Posts: 29 ✭
    That is so ridiculous @Rose18 that would make me blow my top.  
    @kezmusc apparently they took offense to me talking about my BC. I was shocked but karma will come. When I start chemo and have to drop a day for awhile maybe theyll appreciate me more (insert evil laugh here)
    Honestly I'm a nice person 😀
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 ✭
    All the best @Sweetpetal. Most of the people I work with are great. There are a few who ignored me when I had cancer treatment, but most meant well. 

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