Return to work - 1 year on
Nadi
Member Posts: 619 ✭
This week marked my 1st anniversary of my return to work. It's funny how we many extra anniversary's we observe after our diagnosis.
Last year when I returned to work I didn't know what my life would be like, or whether I'd ever be able to get back to nearly what I was before. In particular I was really struggling with what to do about work. A good friend of mine reassured me that things would get better, and like the Pantene ad (?) on telly, it wouldn't happen over night but it would happen. She made me promise to look back in a year's time to see just how far I would come.
After trying to work on and off between surgery, chemo, radiation and 12 months Herceptin, I started back at work in earnest in January 2017 doing 10 hours a week (5 hours per day, 2 days week). Then 4 weeks later in February I increased to 15 hours a week (still 5 hours a day, 3 days a week ). In March I was doing 22.5 hours a week or 3 full days. Until finally by mid May I was back full time.
I have been full time ever since. In October I received a promotion of sorts, and was given a big multi million dollar project to manage. I now work most weeks 45 hours and up. But I couldn't be happier. Work has always been a huge part of my life, despite my grumbles sometimes.
I've also had to deal with some incredible difficult personal circumstances during this time. I had to put both my parents into a nursing home due to Dad's now severe dementia and Mum's pulmonary fibrosis. Dad went into permanent care in August and Mum went into permanent care in December. There were 4 months where I was back and forth, three or more times a week to different hospitals for Mum and Dad. Then it was a HUGE job to clean out their home of 20 years. I'm still not sure how I got through that while working full time, I just remembered being so exhausted and very teary at the time.
Then my beautiful 20 yr old middle son - who shaved himself completely bald when I started chemo, just so I wouldn't be bald alone - started an oral chemotherapy regime in October for severe (and I mean severe) discoid eczema. This was after 2 years of so many medical appointments with numerous specialists and other treatments and nutritionists and naturopaths and diets that all failed. I can't begin to tell you how much a skin condition can affect a person's quality of life. We are now trying to help him deal with the horrible, and in some cases permanent side effects, including 50kg weight gain in a short period of time, and still the results are not as good as we expected.
My energy levels are so much better than they were before, but do drop significantly from time to time, especially after a night like last night where the hot flushes and neuropathy pain only afforded me 3 hours of sleep. But that just means extra coffee for me today (which I know some of you won't agree with).
So all in all, when I look back at the past 12 months, I can't believe where I am today. I honestly thought I didn't have it in me. Back then I didn't. But now I obviously do.
So if you are struggling with your treatment, or agonising over what to do about work, or just wondering whether it will ever get better, just allow yourself a little time. If you fell you have to go part time and don't really want to, just remember it may not be forever. I realise for some it may not get better, but for others like me, it does and it did.
I just hope a post like this may help someone out there who may be struggling with the whole work decision thing.
Best wishes and good health to all.
Nadine
Last year when I returned to work I didn't know what my life would be like, or whether I'd ever be able to get back to nearly what I was before. In particular I was really struggling with what to do about work. A good friend of mine reassured me that things would get better, and like the Pantene ad (?) on telly, it wouldn't happen over night but it would happen. She made me promise to look back in a year's time to see just how far I would come.
After trying to work on and off between surgery, chemo, radiation and 12 months Herceptin, I started back at work in earnest in January 2017 doing 10 hours a week (5 hours per day, 2 days week). Then 4 weeks later in February I increased to 15 hours a week (still 5 hours a day, 3 days a week ). In March I was doing 22.5 hours a week or 3 full days. Until finally by mid May I was back full time.
I have been full time ever since. In October I received a promotion of sorts, and was given a big multi million dollar project to manage. I now work most weeks 45 hours and up. But I couldn't be happier. Work has always been a huge part of my life, despite my grumbles sometimes.
I've also had to deal with some incredible difficult personal circumstances during this time. I had to put both my parents into a nursing home due to Dad's now severe dementia and Mum's pulmonary fibrosis. Dad went into permanent care in August and Mum went into permanent care in December. There were 4 months where I was back and forth, three or more times a week to different hospitals for Mum and Dad. Then it was a HUGE job to clean out their home of 20 years. I'm still not sure how I got through that while working full time, I just remembered being so exhausted and very teary at the time.
Then my beautiful 20 yr old middle son - who shaved himself completely bald when I started chemo, just so I wouldn't be bald alone - started an oral chemotherapy regime in October for severe (and I mean severe) discoid eczema. This was after 2 years of so many medical appointments with numerous specialists and other treatments and nutritionists and naturopaths and diets that all failed. I can't begin to tell you how much a skin condition can affect a person's quality of life. We are now trying to help him deal with the horrible, and in some cases permanent side effects, including 50kg weight gain in a short period of time, and still the results are not as good as we expected.
My energy levels are so much better than they were before, but do drop significantly from time to time, especially after a night like last night where the hot flushes and neuropathy pain only afforded me 3 hours of sleep. But that just means extra coffee for me today (which I know some of you won't agree with).
So all in all, when I look back at the past 12 months, I can't believe where I am today. I honestly thought I didn't have it in me. Back then I didn't. But now I obviously do.
So if you are struggling with your treatment, or agonising over what to do about work, or just wondering whether it will ever get better, just allow yourself a little time. If you fell you have to go part time and don't really want to, just remember it may not be forever. I realise for some it may not get better, but for others like me, it does and it did.
I just hope a post like this may help someone out there who may be struggling with the whole work decision thing.
Best wishes and good health to all.
Nadine
Tagged:
5
Comments
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Well said Nadine now you mention it its my 12 month anniversary going back to work too! Hope all goes well with your son what a tough time hes having biggest hug and well done to you love, gives hope to the newbies on her as well as all of us.
Margie xx
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Congrats @Nadi!!!!!! And you too @onemargie!!! I'm so nervous about going back to work at the end of March - you've given me a boost! Thank you xxoo1
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Congratulations to you both .... I took a bit longer I was nearly 4 years out from my treatment before I even ventured back into part time work and like you Nadi I get tired .... I know as I become teary something I never did prior
our Bodies have gone through a war with chemo surgery and rads then we have to heal and recover. Thanks Nadi for posting this it will be good for the newbies who are wondering.
xxx
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Warrior woman!
It's not the obvious things about breast cancer that are the hardest to deal with, it's all the ephemeral stuff that takes so long to resolve. Mainly the fatigue. For you to have come so far is a genuine achievement and you should be very, very proud of yourself. Marg
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You guys rock @Nadi and @onemargie. I love hearing these stories and it's fantastic for those just starting their treatment. Thanks for sharing.
XOXOXO
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Wooho on 12 months back working. I started back in October 2016 and gradually increased hours to Full time which happened after Easter 2017. Initially I was just exhausted all the time but slowly slowly it does get better. I realised the biggest hurdle to sort for me was enough sleep...no longer can I work on much less than 7 or I'm wiped out. If I can get 7 I have enough energy to work and still do some exercise. Eating well again has really helped and I'm still working on my fitness. But finally....finally I feel recovered. I never thought I would ever say this. Maybe its accepting the new normal but hey...I have more energy than some of my work colleagues 20 years younger...so I guess I'm doing okay.
PS...still gotta get my darn port out though.
Kath x4 -
Congrats @onemargie, @SoldierCrab, and @primek . Some never stop working, some take a short time to return to work, some take a long time to return, others finish up at work and never look back ,and then some never return to work even though they desperately want to. We are all on different journeys. What matters is it's ok if we cut ourselves some slack no matter what type of journey we are on.
PS Kath - my port extraction date is Feb 9. I am counting down the days.1 -
@Mollygirl I was really nervous too for the first few weeks before and after my return to work. Just give your self some time and listen to your body. Good luck with it.
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@Nadi thank you so much for this post. I’ve just started back part time working from home. I did 16 hours this week and already feeling pressure (my own, not from anyone else) to increase and rush back to work. It just feels like that’s what I should be doing. But on the other hand I’m so afraid of burn out and being of work for longer than if I just paced myself.
You’ve given me the reminder I needed to take things slow. It will get better but like all things, it will take time. Patience is not my forte. Cancer treatment is still teaching me that. Jen xx.0 -
Thanks for the inspiring post! Well done to you. I finished active treatment in September and EVERYONE asks when I'm going back to work. I miss work and day dream about going back, but I'm still so damn tired. I fall into bed right after my kids and take a day nap a few times a week. I didn't and couldn't have worked through treatment AND looked after my 2 kids. It had to be one or the other. I'm also taking Palbociclib on a clinical trial, which causes me extra fatigue. I will get there! Patience.1
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hey Jen @Mrs_H I know how you feel. I'm the most impatient person I know. The pressure to return was all my own. For others the whole decision about work wasn't all that much of a struggle, but for me it was a huge struggle. I was exhausted the first few months and it's only with hind sight that I know I took the best approach of a gradual return. I guess I just wanted to let others know that it is ok to take it slow and just because you may look good (because face it when you return to work heaps of people always say how good you look) it doesn't necessarily mean you feel good. You will get there. Good luck with it all.
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