A reflective moment
Having a reflective moment as my daughter naps... So, today as I attempted to wash my hair and again watched in dismay as huge, huge clumps fell out and accumulated around the drain, I was feeling a little down. The itchiness around my eyebrows is suggesting that my eyebrows are about to follow suit. The cold cap is working, yes. After two rounds of FEC I should have no hair by now but I think I have lost around 50%. And I am so tired. So very tired. I needed something to remind me why I was doing this. After my surgery but before chemo started I had some family photos taken. I was looking through them today to remind me that this, THIS is why I am doing all of this. My family. My two beautiful girls. I couldn't help but notice the dark circles and tiredness of my eyes and of my husband's. And this was before chemo had even started. It takes its toll. I might Photoshop them out later. lol And my hair. I had so much hair! I guess that's why if a stranger saw me now they wouldn't know any different but it has thinned considerably. 1 small bald spot appearing. If it gets any bigger, it's time to shave. I hate that cold cap so much. I have such a huge skull (a family thing, my poor mum who gave birth to four of us in the days before drugs!) it doesn't really fit me properly and hurts. I have been researching my family history for the genetics test coming up. It has been so revealing. Much more breast cancer in my family than I ever knew about. Well, I'll be the first in my family to have the genetics test done. We'll soon find out if our family carries the gene. Family. I love them so much. I wish I had more energy for my girls right now.
Isolation
So i have finished my AC treatments now and am onto weekly treatments of taxol. One down, eleven to go!! I think that so far i have been one of the lucky ones with my treatments. I haven't really had any nausea, I've been using the cold caps so I still have a fair bit of hair, still have my appetite. My worst side effect is probably my tiredness and lack of energy. I did however end up in hospital after my last AC treatment for being neutropenic, luckily is wasn't a very long stay. At the moment i'm struggling a little bit with feeling isolated from everyone. I don't serve customers at work at case any of them are sick and I pick up an infection. I haven't seen my brother/nephews in almost two weeks because they have been sick so of course I'm not able to be near them. I've been dealing with it ok up until now, but the last few days i've started to feel alone and isolated from everyone. I know that it is for my own good but it still gets me down. I guess i just have to take it one day at a time.
Am I pushing myself ?
Hi fellow members. I was diagnosed with stage 3 invasive carcinoma HER2 in Feb this year 2015 . I found a lump and went straight to G.P. and referred me to get a mammogram, although Id had one in (June 14 with no call back ) of course the news wasn't good after a visit to my Breast surgeon I was told I had Breast cancer after a recall in clear margins after 1st initial surgery. It hadn't travelled to the lymph glands Phew ! But I did need 4 treatments of chemo 3 weeks apart and radiation every day for 3 weeks . Also I have to have hecepton till Feb16 I was offered the Cool cap which I found excellent , bit uncomfy at first but I got used to it. I have thick hair and it worked well. I didn't look sick ! Everyone was amazed on how well I looked .As I am an asocial butterfly , but gee that soon stopped for a while any way ... I felt well enough, treatment went well and my work at the time were wonderful with days of. I worked throughout when I could. I finished all chemo and radiation end of May, but still the having the Herceptin. In Aug I was made redundant unfortunately , but it gave me a chance for a break and a 3week holiday. About 8 weeks in total After that I started looking for work. It didn't take long to get a job, but its really long hours 9 hrs a day and every 2nd Sat 6 days a week. I am a manager and the training and the learning are huge. Im sure I suffering Chemo Brain.The staff I have a great and understand . But Im really tired each night and feel that this may be to much . I try and walk most nights after work . My feet are numb and swell in spots when ive stood , I needed to buy new expensive shoes to fit and stand, now im on Arimidex and I feel aching like a 90 yrs old .Im a generally happy go lucky fun loving person, but in the past month Im wondering if Im doing the right thing working so much. My partner is very supportive , but need to work for to enjoy a comfatable lifestyle ..Just sayin . I wonder if if any one else has suggestions cheers Sandra ( Hawks )
