Stress ten fold
Hi all I was diagnosed two weeks ago with infiltrating ductal carcinoma. The tumour was apparently 1.3cm . It was removed,surgery went well. Got my results two days ago and the tumour removed was 3.1 cm and it was in the sentiniel lymph node , l have to have chemo and radiation . The tumour was hormone positive only and the stress is i am pregnant , having termination today. I have 3 chn , youngest is 14 months . I do not want the baby . i am not in the right frame of mind and my decision is final . i just need some encouragement people, . I am 39 years old DR said i also have pre cancer cells and may have to go on hormoe tablets as well.
Newly diagnosed
Hi all, my mum had breast cancer at 50 and passed away after 20 year battle. I was diagnosed last week, surgeon appointment tomorrow, surgery booked already. I also had my first grandson last week, same day was having all my mammograms, ultrasound etc. Do I tell her as she is interstate or wait until closer to surgery date. I have my sister & brother supporting me as I live alone.I’ll know more when meet surgeon tomorrow. Dad is in 80s still debating when to tell him. My brother cried. My sister has had cancer, chemo etc so I know we are survivors!
I've offended my in-laws
Hi I was diagnosed 6 days before Christmas. I'm 33 and have 2 daughters aged 3 and 6. When I told my parents and sister the news, they all came to visit to be with me so unexpectedly, we ended up hosting Christmas celebrations at my house. It's taken all the energy I have to get out of bed (early) each day with a smile on my face to ensure my children had a joyful Christmas. This past week, I haven't been too focused on anyone but my girls and my husband. Today I've discovered my inlaws are offended that I didn't speak to them on Christmas Day. My husband called them but I didn't get on the phone to speak - I'm not even sure why - it's all a bit of a blur. I called to speak to my sister in law today and she was extremely short and very cold. I feel like I need to apologise now but I'm also angry at her for not cutting me some slack (her husband is an oncologist FFS I thought she'd understand). Any tips for how I can explain my failure to call them? I don't feel like I can say I just forgot as that will be more offensive. I really need to smooth this one over for the sake of my husband but I'm on the verge of exploding and telling them all where to go. Does anyone have some sage words to help me out of this one?
Newly Diagnosed 18/2/2020
Hi Everyone, my name is Lois and my life got bit of a shock last week when the doctor said "It is Aggressive, Invasive Breast Cancer". The emotions went into hyper drive and I left his room and promptly threw up in his garden. Luckily, my husband was there for that much needed clean up and cuddle. My "Lump" had been there for over 5 months and as I have Lupus, merely thought it was a torn chest muscle that was taking forever to heal. Unfortunately it wasn't. Instead it is a Stage 1, Grade 3 estrogen receptor cancer (I think that is what they said!!) located in the upper quadrant of my left breast on my chest wall. The lump is nearly 30 mm... Yesterday, I met with the Specialist for the first time and my Breast Care Nurse - both very calm, methodical, easy to approach and allowed me for the first time in nearly 3 weeks to let my breath out and come home with a positive outlook - even though I know the months ahead will shake, rattle and roll me to exhaustion and beyond. At the moment, the decision is to take out the lump and relevant lymph nodes then radiation therapy. The view to full removal of both breasts will be considered once I have done healing....especially as "we" are unsure how the Lupus will react as I have been in constant flare up with a myriad of symptoms for nearly a year now. The whole thing of rejection of breast tissue for reconstruction etc needs to be considered at length and with advisement of specialists. I am alternating between being scared and rationally calm. The hardest bit of this news, was having to tell my children and watch the sheer horror cross their faces. That took my breath away. So...that is me. Trying to find a sense of positivity amongst the fear and monumental freak out sessions since I was told the news.
Keeping family and friends informed
Hi everyone, Another newbie - routine mammogram in mid Oct, biopsy then diagnosed Nov 21 with invasive ductal carcinoma (13mm). Surgery planned for Jan 2 - lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy then radiotherapy and hormone blockers after. I feel fairly well informed with whats going on and not freaking out too much (today anyway haha). My question is how do you keep everyone informed of whats happening? Is it worth setting up a blog? My husband is great talking to everyone but I'm not keen on going over and over it on the phone or when I run into people when out and about.. If anyone has found a blog useful can you steer me in the right direction of how to start one - thanks in advance :)
New mum struggles just got more challenging
Hi everyone! It’s lovely to meet you all despite this being the location. I was officially diagnosed on Tuesday but I’ve suspected it was breast cancer for over a week since the mood at my biopsy seemed urgent (and extremely sympathetic). I’m 34 years old and first time mum to an awesome little 11 month old boy. I’ve been struggling being the default parent because of the surprisingly small amount of help my partner offers. I thought we’d be more of a team but I let him get away with doing the bare minimum early on and now it’s slipped into a pattern that isn’t sustainable. I struggle with resenting him and it’s definitely affecting our relationship. I feel especially snappy and reactive now. This diagnosis is extra troubling as I have almost lost all faith in him stepping up more. How did others navigate their parenthood and relationship/marriage challenges while dealing with their cancer journey?
Waiting for tests and results
Hi I'm new to this whole thing, up until 21/2 weeks ago I had never considered breast cancer as a possibility. I found a lump in my breast just after coming back from holiday and went to my GP, she sent me off for a mammogram and ultrasound whilst waiting for the appointment i found another lump under my arm. The results came back with suspected breast cancer so not the best news I've ever had, at my appointment the following week with the surgeon I was categorically told it was breast cancer and was referred for biopsy, CT and bone scan. I had the CT and bone scan last week and my biopsy is scheduled for Thursday afternoon, so I have another appointment a week today to find out my results. Can't say I'm looking forward to the biopsy and am worried it will be painful. I thought I was doing OK and trying to be pragmatic about everything, but had a bit of a breakdown at the weekend which my poor husband bore the brunt of. I can now think of little else other than my results and what's going to happen next and I'm struggling to concentrate at work. Only my husband knows what's going on, I haven't managed to tell my family or friends, most of who live in the UK. When I think about telling them my stomach churns and I feel sick. I've promised myself I'll tell people when I get the full picture next week but it's not something I'm looking forward to. Just feel a bit lost at the moment From reading the posts online this is a fabulous group of supportive souls, Thanks
Waiting, waiting, waiting + frustration
I’m sorry, I’m really making the most of the solidarity here. It’s been almost 3 weeks since my diagnosis (43yr old, Grade 2, ER+ PR+ HER- mixed lobular/ductal) & I’m usually a super patient person, but I’m feeling quite down. I go for my PET scan & MRI tomorrow morning, early. I’m then seeing the surgeon again next week for hopefully a bit of a plan for treatment. I’m sick of not being able to plan or commit to anything. I’ve kept working as much as I can, but I’m getting sick of being told about friends of friends who have died of BC, or at the other end that ‘it’s so treatable & nothing much to worry about’. This morning I had my first real big cry, which made my 10yo daughter cry too, which made me feel worse. I cried because she has a grotty cough & so we had to take her with us for the 4 hr trip to our nearest imaging place & not send her to school or expose our neighbours to her germs. I cried because my oldest daughter had to stay behind. I cried because my oldest daughter turns 13 very soon & wants to be excited & plan her birthday, then she flips & apologises & says ‘don’t worry about getting me anything Mum’. I really know now how it feels to feel like a burden. I told my husband I should have just gone alone this trip, but he insisted on coming to keep me company, which I do appreciate. I’m so lucky really to be surrounded by so much love & well-intentioned support, but I think reality is really starting to sink in. I’m already sick of doing the 8hr round trip for the nearest cancer care, yet this is only the start. How do I decide what surgery is best? I don’t care much about my appearance, & I think a mastectomy & going flat makes the most sense, causes the least disruption to my family, but I feel quite sad still about losing my breast. Ugh. Anyway, no need to reply, just needed to get this off my chest.
