Newly diagnosed - Just want to hit the pause button
I wish I could rewind the clock and go back to 48 hrs ago when I was blissfully unaware of my diagnosis and still believing that there is no way this could happen to me. I received the call just over 24 hrs ago that I've been diagnosed with an invasive ductal carcinoma, triple negative. They've graded it as a 2/3. The plan at this stage is that I will have a lumpectomy first and then start chemo. The kicker to all this was I just had my first baby 8 weeks ago and now have to start weaning her. I only found the lump because I was breastfeeding and thought it was initially mastitis. I just turned 40 and I'm a single mum and chose to have her using a donor. I'm on Maternity leave and this was supposed to be such a special time for me to bond with her and enjoy this newborn phase. I'm devastated that I now have to start weaning her and freaking out about how I'm going to deal with being a new mum and going through surgery and then chemo. So far my family and friends have been amazing and I know they will be there to support us both throughout it all. I'm not sure why I'm writing this post, I just needed to have a vent I guess and from reading the other posts, this is a safe space to open up.