Member: jconnolly4285 | BCNA Online Network

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Re: Struggling with Negative Emotions
To everyone who have sent their thoughts, well wishes, support and shared their stories, I am truly thankful. Last week was a low point for me, but just getting it off my chest and having people understand my feelings has helped me so much. George - thank you so very much for your partner perspective. Wow what a reality check it was for me. My husband is the typical male born in the 60s who is the alpha male, physically strong, very loyal and protective of his family, but underneath is emotionally needy (all the love intended with this last comment). I am the emotionally strong one and I guess I just expect everyone to be the same and just get along with things - No need to share feelings, it is what it is!! But your comments made me stand back and look past myself, and take stock of the fact that is what he needed. So a very genuine thank you. Every one of you have given me a piece of advice that I am able to directly apply to this journey I find myself in - the podcasts are really beneficial hearing things from someone who has also lived this. I am a true crime podcast addict so these are on hold at the moment :) I'm also not going to compare myself to others anymore as this is definitely not helpful or fair to those ladies. Anyway, I can't pass on enough thank you's. Your generosity in sharing your words of wisdom has moved me forward and I am extremely grateful. Regards, Jodie
2 years ago Place General
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Struggling with Negative Emotions
Good morning, I am new to the forum so apologies if this subject has been discussed previously. I had a double mastectomy in March 2024. Breast Cancer is so prevalent in my family, but all other family members have only needed a lumpectomy, not a double mastectomy. I'm not belittling their experience, but I feel I don't have anyone I can talk to about what a double mastectomy does to your psyche. Having said that I am conflicted as I am an extremely private person and wanted to keep my predicament to myself. However, my husband, mum and dad, SIL and work boss all told someone, who told someone, who told someone. I feel there was a total breach of my privacy and let down by them, even though they were all so supportive of me in many other ways. For me, I feel the best way to deal with the emotions of a double mastectomy is to just suppress the feelings, keep telling myself that there is always someone worse off, and keep everything normal. However that is hard to do when you are confronted everyday with a scar from underarm to underarm across your chest, pain is always prevalent somewhere (lymph node removal pain, pins & needles on my back and upper chest, scar pain, internal pain) and now I know everyone knows. OK, so I've thrown a lot out here, but I guess my questions are: - I'm wondering if anyone else feels betrayed (justified or not) by the ones they love and trusted? How do I get past that? - How do I stop feeling like those that have had a lumpectomy had it easier than me, when I know they all had their own difficult journeys? I'm normally a positive, glass half full type of person, but I'm so emotionally confused at the moment and this is not the normal me. I usually live my life accepting that everyone's journey is individual to them, but at the moment I just feel like those who haven't gone through a double mastectomy just simply can't understand. And I know this isn't fair, I know it, but it's where my mind is at right now. Any words of wisdom, tips, life experiences that you could share would be very appreciated, so I can get back to my positive self. Regards J
2 years ago Place General
double-mastectomy
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PRIVATE GROUP. This group is a safe, supportive space to talk about sexual health and emotional wellbeing during and after breast cancer. We discuss topics like menopause, vaginal dryness, pain during sex, UTIs, and changes in libido, and share ideas and products that may help. Whether you're navigating intimacy with a partner or reconnecting with yourself, you're not alone here. This is a place for open, respectful conversations and shared understanding.
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PRIVATE GROUP. This group is a safe space for those considering, actively choosing or not have had a choice to stay flat after a mastectomy. Whether personal decision or one shaped by circumstance, you're invited to connect and share your experience and images with others on a similar path. Information shared is based on personal experience and not intended as medical advice; always consult your healthcare team for guidance. ⚠️CONTENT WARNING⚠️Posts may include images of surgical outcomes, which some may find distressing. If you need support, please contact the BCNA Helpline—we’re here for you.
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PRIVATE GROUP. Choosing breast reconstruction after single or double mastectomy can feel overwhelming, and deeply personal. This group is here to connect you through others' stories and images. Please respect everyone’s privacy—do not copy or share content outside this space. Information is based on personal experience and is not medical advice; always consult your healthcare team for guidance. ⚠️CONTENT WARNING⚠️ Members may share photos of breast surgeries. These images or discussions may be distressing or triggering for some. If you need support, please contact the BCNA Helpline - we are here for you.

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Re: Struggling with Negative Emotions

Struggling with Negative Emotions

Let's talk: vaginas, menopause & me

Flat Chat - no breast reconstruction

Choosing breast reconstruction