The Secret Suckiness Of Life After Breast Cancer
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/10/176194/life-after-breast-cancer-survivor-story?
Forum Discussion
I get tantalising glimpses of the old me. I managed to roll a round bale which probably weighs about 250 kg over 30 metres on my own while fending off 'You Idiot' who just Could Not Wait. Three years ago that would have been a doddle and I'd have done it without stopping. (Hint there folks, do not stop. It means you have to start again)
But at least I could do it today. No idea if I will be able to do it tomorrow though, and there is the frustration for me. It's all so random and unpredictable. Good days, bad days. Good weeks that get me all optimistic and planning the next project only for everything to turn to shit again over night. I either avoid making commitments because I'm not sure I can meet them or make the wrong ones and end up both disappointed and disappointing.
My habit of going to ground when I'm not coping means most people only see me when I'm 'up' so there's not much understanding of the big picture.
But at least I could do it today. No idea if I will be able to do it tomorrow though, and there is the frustration for me. It's all so random and unpredictable. Good days, bad days. Good weeks that get me all optimistic and planning the next project only for everything to turn to shit again over night. I either avoid making commitments because I'm not sure I can meet them or make the wrong ones and end up both disappointed and disappointing.
My habit of going to ground when I'm not coping means most people only see me when I'm 'up' so there's not much understanding of the big picture.