Hi @Christabel03, I know how you feel. I almost started a similar post this morning. I finished radiation just over a week ago, after almost 6 months of chemo and had my chemo port removed last week (for stage 3a, grade 3). Relieved - yes, but lost and feeling strange, absolutely. I see my oncologist in 2 weeks to get my hormone tablets (yeh!). At my last visit, he basically said, your initial scans were clear, you've had all the treatments and you will be on tablets, so go and live life... simple statement ...... not that easy to do (for me anyway). Yes I am happy no more active treatment, but now it's the next chapter and no-one knows what may or may not happen, that's hard. I am already thinking about my Mammo/US in a couple of months with my breast surgeon, so my scanxiety has already started to kick in, so I'm trying hard at the moment to forget it, and try to enjoy the next couple of months, again easier said then done. I've been working with a counsellor since diagnosis and this does help, but I still struggle. Given it's early days, I am trying not to be to hard on myself. I still cry almost everyday, sometimes on my own, sometimes in front of family, but again it is only early days. Some days I have the energy to keep myself busy and this helps. I whizzed around the yard on the ride on lawn mower today and now I'm having a lovely "non-alcoholic" Sav Blanc watching tennis. Next week my sister and nieces and nephew are coming and will be here for my birthday, so will be emotional, but wonderful to have others to focus on. It's certainly a journey and for the first time since my diagnosis last April, last week I actually wrote the words Fuck Cancer - in a way it felt good. We seem to be at a similar stage of our "journey", I wish you all the best
