The information available on the Breast Cancer Network Australia website is not medical advice and is provided for information purposes only. It should not be viewed as a replacement for a consultation with a qualified medical professional. Our website is designed to offer information and support to the general public. Be aware that we do not provide any medical advice, and for medical advice we recommend you speak to a qualified medical professional or doctor. 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This is my first post here. Diagnosed with DCIS and invasive in early June, had left lumpectomy, re-excision then mastectomy. Now started 20 wks of chemo (8 wks AC then 12 wks Taxol). It has...","body@stringLength":"1577","rawBody":"Hi all. This is my first post here. Diagnosed with DCIS and invasive in early June, had left lumpectomy, re-excision then mastectomy. Now started 20 wks of chemo (8 wks AC then 12 wks Taxol). It has been a whirlwind and have been trying to stay positive but it is tiring to remain upbeat all the time. I’m having 2nd round of chemo next week and worried that is when I will start to really feel the effects.
My family have been great, but hit and miss with some friends. Some friends I considered close haven’t really made much of an effort to reach out to see how I’m doing from time to time. When they needed help whether when they were pregnant, sick or struggling etc I was always there for them with offers of help or just a simple “How are you doing?” Just a simple checkin from time to time goes a long way to show that someone cares. It is as if asking how you are once is enough and then that’s it for some people. Then there are are other people who you don’t know very well a constantly asking after you and offering to help out. That makes a difference.
I guess I am feeling quite sad and also angry that so-called friends have been absent. Or am I being too sensitive? But i think if you truly care for someone you can make time for a simple check-in every now and then.
Have any of you experienced this with friends not being there when you need them?
Sorry for my long post. I just feel a bit low today.
","kudosSumWeight":0,"postTime":"2022-09-26T06:14:43.000-07:00","images":{"__typename":"AssociatedImageConnection","edges":[],"totalCount":0,"pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null}},"attachments":{"__typename":"AttachmentConnection","pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null},"edges":[]},"tags":{"__typename":"TagConnection","pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null},"edges":[]},"timeToRead":2,"currentRevision":{"__ref":"Revision:revision:242748_1"},"latestVersion":null,"metrics":{"__typename":"MessageMetrics","views":121},"visibilityScope":"PUBLIC","canonicalUrl":null,"seoTitle":null,"seoDescription":null,"isEscalated":null,"placeholder":false,"originalMessageForPlaceholder":null,"messagePolicies":{"__typename":"MessagePolicies","canModerateSpamMessage":{"__typename":"PolicyResult","failureReason":{"__typename":"FailureReason","message":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","key":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","args":[]}}},"archivalData":null,"customFields":[],"body":"Hi all. This is my first post here. Diagnosed with DCIS and invasive in early June, had left lumpectomy, re-excision then mastectomy. Now started 20 wks of chemo (8 wks AC then 12 wks Taxol). It has been a whirlwind and have been trying to stay positive but it is tiring to remain upbeat all the time. I’m having 2nd round of chemo next week and worried that is when I will start to really feel the effects.
My family have been great, but hit and miss with some friends. Some friends I considered close haven’t really made much of an effort to reach out to see how I’m doing from time to time. When they needed help whether when they were pregnant, sick or struggling etc I was always there for them with offers of help or just a simple “How are you doing?” Just a simple checkin from time to time goes a long way to show that someone cares. It is as if asking how you are once is enough and then that’s it for some people. Then there are are other people who you don’t know very well a constantly asking after you and offering to help out. That makes a difference.
I guess I am feeling quite sad and also angry that so-called friends have been absent. Or am I being too sensitive? But i think if you truly care for someone you can make time for a simple check-in every now and then.
Have any of you experienced this with friends not being there when you need them?
Sorry for my long post. I just feel a bit low today.
I didn’t experience this myself but it’s not uncommon apparently, for some of the reasons outlined by others. Cancer is frightening and some people will find it sufficiently confronting to keep a distance. They don’t mean to be cruel, will probably argue that you don’t need to be bothered right now, but the need to accommodate someone else’s discomfort, when we are the one facing illness and uncomfortable treatment, is often part of the process. Appreciate those who are in touch all the more! Your treatment may also keep you out of your normal routine (work, activity, social occasions) which limits interaction too. So do what you can to keep in your normal loops, it helps keep some sense of normality. Best wishes for your treatment. ","body@stringLength":"789","rawBody":"Dear @Natjess
I didn’t experience this myself but it’s not uncommon apparently, for some of the reasons outlined by others. Cancer is frightening and some people will find it sufficiently confronting to keep a distance. They don’t mean to be cruel, will probably argue that you don’t need to be bothered right now, but the need to accommodate someone else’s discomfort, when we are the one facing illness and uncomfortable treatment, is often part of the process. Appreciate those who are in touch all the more! Your treatment may also keep you out of your normal routine (work, activity, social occasions) which limits interaction too. So do what you can to keep in your normal loops, it helps keep some sense of normality. Best wishes for your treatment. 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