I feel like Im in a catch 22 situation...

Thank you ladies.  Its hard for both parties but whats even harder is trying to explain the lack of feelings and emotions.  It feels like a train wreck and I do know my partner tried to understand but its alot to take on for them as well.  I didn't have the best memory pre treatment and now well this is another add on to my list.  It is frustrating to say the least.  Ive been told that I am not present or that I am heartless which is hurtful but I do know these things are said as part of an emotional reaction, frustration, anger and so on.  Its not like I intentionally set out to be like this but it has affected me and others and it really is about trying to cope with what you have and not letting it or any comments get to you.  I understand myself better than anyone and I am about self preservation and all I can do is keep trying in the hope that things will get better, symptoms may or may not ease but I am doing what I can to manage it.  Of course its not going to be in everyones best interest but I need to be ok.