Thank you everyone. It's a relief to know it's not just me. I too am having dreadful nightmares. During the day I can seem to go with my old mantra "it is what it is". I get on with what I have to but then when I'm on my own or lying in bed at night my mind just goes into over drive. I have recently lost friends and another, who I did treatment with, is starting to go downhill fast. It's like it slaps you in the face. I only saw my bs a couple of months ago for my 5 year check and everything was fine. I still have immunotherapy every 6 months for another condition, so I guess im still dealing with the treatment side of things. That is for the rest of my life so that isn't going to change. I have planned to do something nice today, I will go and have lunch with my brother. I will also plan sa me nice things over the next few weeks to get me through. Kmakm, the post treatment depression certainly is shit. I so wish I could just move on from it all.