The big day...!
So l've been awake since 5:31 thanks to hayfever & the St Kilda Birdsong Chorus... :-p Apologies for typos or weird formatting, l'm typing this out on my phone.
Laying here in bed wide awake, listening to Zac snoring away beside me...l'm half inclined to wake him up because if l'm awake, everyone else should be too!
I go in for my first chemo today at 12:30, along with multiple blood tests, a surprise heart scan thing they only told me about on Thurs (because, surprise! This chemo can damage heart function...! Last time l checked, l might need that...) and the Nulastin injection tomorrow...errrk! I have my giant tube of Emla to take, funny, it's the only thing l've packed!
I'm worried about them accessing the port as it's still very sore, l thought l was more worried about that than anything else, but now "shit's getting real"...(oh bless, Zac just asked me why l'm awake) and now the "what ifs" are emerging - what if l forget something in my super long list of dos & donts...what if something goes wrong...what if l'm not in that happy percentile that goes on to be "cured"....aaarrrgh!
I had the worst phonecall from my nan last night - she's trying so hard to be brave (like me...ha!) but it's so hard to convince her that l'll be giving it my best crack...l think it scares her that a grandchild could go before she does, it goes against the natural order of things! I've been trying so hard to convince her & everyone else that l'm not dying, & there's pretty good odds l'll be ok, that l haven't had the chance to REALLY think about it all...!
Anyway...because there's still about 6 hrs til anything really starts to happen, l'm going to try to sleep a bit more...God, l hope today ( and the next 16 weeks, actually!) goes smoothly.
