Step 3 (part 2)

I read your post and it pretty much feels like I am reading about my own experience.  Mine too was bigger than expected and every time I thought ok, I can do this, they told me more and more unexpected news.  Also ended up with mastectomy after a stage 2 diagnosis, 3 tumors, biggest one 3.4cm and hormone positive. Then the news 2 from 4 lymphnodes involved so had to go back to have auxiliary clearance.   Chemo followed, hospitalisation due to severe side affects, and finally after 6 months, radiotherapy (was the easiest part).

I have just returned to work after taking 8 months off (which was the best thing ever, I honestly dont know how people work while going through treatment).  My hair has started growing back and I was just trying to get used to my new regime of hormonal treatment and the side effects of the medicine and new found menopause when I got dealt a new challenge.  My gene test that I have done after treatment ended came back positive for the BRCA2 (breast/ovarian cancer gene mutation)......sigh!!

I'll meet the Gynae Oncologist this week to discuss my surgery to remove my ovaries (I am not keeping those suckers!) And February 2016 will see me having another mastectomy of the remaining healthy breast.

I completely get your frustration and fear.  Forgive the long story, but you will get through this.  One day at a time, you'll put everything else on the virtual shelve and just focus on one task at a time.  We are all here for you for support and you will definitely read other posts that will encourage you to stay strong and keep going. Some of your friends/family/colleagues with great intentions will probably drive you mad at some stage with stuff they say (to supposedly make you feel better), so feel free to come and let it all out here where we all get it and where you will feel understood.

Take thinks easy and don't feel pressured to explain everything to everyone who ask you how you are as this becomes overwhelming at some point.  Maybe get a fb page where you can keep people updated and encourage them to write messages of support on there so you can read and respond in your own time. 

Also many people go through chemo with little hassle and usually only have a few days they feel unwell and then many they feel pretty ok.

Chin up, you've got this!

Virtual hug, Rene