I never ever thought it would be me! Ok I am the slack one who did not have regular mammograms. I feel so disappointed and angry at myself now. What comes next can only be my own silly fault! It is only 5 days since I was told it is a "cancer" not a fibroadoma. I have to wait another 4 days to see the surgeon and hear his view on what will happen next. This waiting and waiting to hear what comes next is the pits.

Well we are all here, because we have breast cancer in common, but please dont blame not having mammograms, it happens, and on here there are a lot of women who have just been diagnosed, getting ready for their ops, and also long term survivors, you are right the waiting is the pits, please keep in touch, feel free to add me to your contacts, and remember no question on here is stupid, so feel free to vent, scream, or just chat, we are all here for you, good luck we will be thinking of you on Friday, have you ordered your free "my journey kit" from this site, it has a load of useful information, for you, your family and friends, so if you havent already, then i suggest you you order it now. so Welcome and good luck.

Sorry to have to "meet" this way but you have found a safe place to chat and meet woman all over Aust that have some connection and like Moira said many are long term survivors. If your anything like me your life is very busy and we often forget to put ourselves first, so your not alone with delaying things i myself was given a referal for a mammogram (because I mentioned my boob hurt occationally) but never went because it "passed" and 4 years later had BC. Lifes like that but we bounce back and keep in mind that in this day and age BC is quiet treatable when found early enough. Try to relax a little (as if,lol) until you actually know what your dealing with, see your gp if you need help to get a good sleep so you can face the prognosis with a clear, well rested head. Meditation, what ever helps and now you have joined the BCNA family you have plenty of support through your journey. Dont forget to check out the support groups in your area, I have wonderful friends to share coffee, chats, tears and mile stones with from my local group, i wish you the same , Keep in touch we will all be thinking of you, Kaz

Hi Annabel I was a person who had been having regular mammogram - my last in July 2010 which came back "clear" only to discover a lump 2 months later and consequently be diagnosed with Breast Cancer on 16/9/2010. the past 6 weeks have been emotional roller coaster ride for me, and playing the waiting game for results or the next specialist visit or test isn't easy, however I'm finding that talking about what cards has been dealt, helps me come to terms what has occured, the treatment plan you are about to undertake means that there is light at the end of the tunnel leading to a positive outcome. Accept any help from friends, work colleagues as they do mean well and care, albeit at times you may not want to talk or face the fear of reaching out, but when you do reach out to talk it makes life easier. as a friend said put the "chin to the wind" take care Beth

Hi Anabel, I too am a newby and was diagnosed on the 12th october 2010 so Im afraid that Im not as experienced as the other ladies. I just wanted to touch base with you and share one thing I do know is that I felt exactly the same as you. I beat myself up with internal diaglogue saying "how could I be so stupid" "its so obvious" "why didnt I go sooner". I thought I would go crazy with the waiting and sleeplessness. My hubby went to the chemist and got me some snuzaid tablets which definately helped with sleeping. My day finally came and its a week today since I had my surgery (complete local excision,reduction and sentinel lymph node biopsy). Will be having chemo and radio therapy. Be kind to yourself. Nobody deserves this. We can only now look forward and I am trying to deal with each step as it comes and take heart that many women before us have come out the other side and we can too. The my journey pack is great and jam packed full of all the information and answers to questions. I know I didnt get anything from my GP. I wish I could help you more as I know that the initial days are hell and I felt like I was smack bang in the middle of my worst nightmare.I also know that nobody knows what to say to you and that there IS nothing that anyone can say to you. I think its a process like grieving. I guess I can only say that it does get a little easier every day as we gain acceptance and all the information sinks in and we see that we can do this. We have to do this. Good luck with your appointment with the surgeon. Your not alone Love Jo xoxox

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17 Replies

Di_F
Member
16 years ago
Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I was diagnosed in July 2010 and can relate to the fear you must be feeling now. Often the waiting is harder than dealing with the reality once you know what that is. Somehow you will have the strength to get through this. My initial surgery was planned as a lumpectomy, and then after requesting an MRI results came back that it is multi focal and therefore I need a mastectomy. I had my surgery on Aug 24 and then one month later my chemo started (1 of 6), I've will be having my forth treatment in a week's time. 2/6 lymph were found to have cancer, hence the need to have chemo. I encourage you to just take one step at a time. Everyone's journey is different depending on the diagnosis and so it is only once you have had surgery and pathology results, you will then know what your next step will be. I wish you the very best. Di
joleeh5
Member
16 years ago
Thanks again Shirl..I apprecaite it enormously..luv Jo xoxo
joleeh5
Member
16 years ago
Hi Ananbel I'll send my reply to your inbox xoxo
Anabel
Member
16 years ago
Hi Jo,

I am still here answering messages. I received a few which is so nice.

It is great to hear you had such a great day. It must be such a relief to know the nodes were clear. Do you still require the chemo?? or just radiology? Were you able to wear a bra after the surgery? or is it better with just a camie?

This waiting to find out what the future holds for me is scary only because I do not know and imagine so many different scenarios. I don't even know how big my lump is although I can feel it and even imagine it has grown in a week. Possibly my imagination going nuts!! My appointment with the surgeon is this Friday.

I am sleeping ok at the moment as I work full time and just feel so tired when I go to bed. So I tend to go off to sleep and sleep reasonably well until about 3 or 4 when I get up to go to the loo. Then I tend to start thinking about the future. At least I get some good sleep prior to waking.

I look forward to hearing from you again soon. Keep smiling it's the best medicine. :)

Anabel xx
joleeh5
Member
16 years ago
Hi Anabel,

I had a great day today.(more on why later) Yes I am home...I was suprised too at how little time you have to stay in hosptal. Apparently some people go home the same day. I was going to only stay one night but had vomiting and dizziness from the anasthetic( sorry i dont think thats how u spell it) so ended up staying 2 nights.Ive had this with past ops as well. They send you home with lots of drugs hehe so you dont need to suffer. I have cut down from yesterday and am just taking them at night. I had an appointment this morning and then went to lunch with hubby which was lovely ..my first day out since the op> Just so you have a comparison as I know that this really helped me..My lump (Invasive ductal carcinoma) was 2.8cm. They removed it and 7 lymph nodes and the surgeons secretary rang me this afternoon with the beautiful news that the pathology from these were clear. Thank God...Any how it is my understanding that the chemo will be first and it starts 4 weeks from my op. I will find out more after thursday as I have an appointment with the surgeon.I am happy to let you know if it helps. I really found that stories from other people that were similar were soooo helpful and reassuring.

As I said before I really feel for you because the stage that you are in now was the worst for me also. The nurse at the admissions also recommended restavit for help with sleep. Try some of that maybe?. How many days till you see the surgeon? My surgeon had 2 offices and my husband called and found that if we went to the other one we could get in earlier. Same applied with the surgery. We went to a hospital That took 2 hours to get to instead of the one 10 minutes away because we could get in 1 1/2 weeks earlier.

Any how...Im no expert and still at the start but Im happy to share anything that you think may help.

luv Jo xoxo
Anabel
Member
16 years ago
Dear Leanne

Thank you for your message. Heavens you have been through so much already. It's great to hear your positive view on your own journey. I hope to remain as positive as you and will try not to think about how slack I was with mammgrams.

I wish you all the very best with your surgery this Friday. Keep smiling and I will add you as a contact.

Take care

Anabel
Anabel
Member
16 years ago
Thank you Beth

I will put my "chin to the wind" :) I hope are also doing well after the past 6 weeks.

Take care

Anabel
Anabel
Member
16 years ago
Thank you Kaz

Yes there are lots of positive stories of full recoveries. I plan on being one of those. :) I will check out the local support groups.

Take care

Anabel
Anabel
Member
16 years ago
Thank you Shirl for you message. It's great to know there are so many supporting people out there.

Is it possible to chat in live time on this site or just by sending messages? I am still trying to work out how it works.

Take care

Anabel
Anabel
Member
16 years ago
Dear Moira

Thank you so much for your message. It appears you have so much to deal with yourself and you still have time for others. I hope it all goes well for you in Adelaide. I will also be thinking of you

Take care

Anabel

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