very new member

Hi Kathryn,

I can understand like the rest of our pink sisters just how you feel!  I was diagnosed in June and the shock of it for me was just absolutely amazing when the dr told me that I had cancer.  He phoned me and said come in as soon as possible so as it was just around the corner I did so....I went by myself because when I'd had the biopsy they told me it all looked like a cyst.  So in I go to the dr's office he came straight out to get me and told me & he was almost in tears honestly.  He hadn't yet gotten the actuall report as such so he said come back in tomorrow so I took my hubby with me this time because the 1st time when he told me I just looked at him in disbelief...  Anyway as time progressed it seemed to take forever to have all the tests and scans and the waiting is really the worst of all... the feeling of jumping into the void...the void of what???? at least thats how I felt.  Then finally got to my results after the lumpectomy from the surgeon...not what i'd expected for sure...I had a triple negitive breast cancer...I was positive it would have been hormone receptive but no I had to get a nasty little bastard that fed on its self...that really through me for 6 I'm telling you..it was like i'd just put it all in a little box on the bookshelf whilst I waited to see my onocologist...in between the waiting it didn't seem like me it was happening to...I always thought in the back of my mind that I would get bc as I'd lost my mum to it 13 years ago today actually :-(  but all in all it is the most dreadful shocking news anyone can hear.  Anyway back to the oncologist...I finally got my treatment plan and it was kind of a relief I must admit!  I went up stairs to book in for when he told me to have it and they were booked out that week so I had to wait an extra week... the 1st treatment I was so scared they had to give me an extra calm me down pill which work ok...I actually sailed through the 1st chemo with very few side effects..so I thought the 2nd would be the same but the side effects were a little worse but I got that sorted out now and I'm heading to my 3rd and 2nd last chemo next Thursday the 15th.  I was also refered to the familial group for genetic testing and the results for that were good no defective gene, but i've opted for a bi-lateral mastectomy anyway with a reconstruction after a couple of doses of radiotherapy...so thats my story....As all the other pink sisters have said you are definatly NOT alone on this journey WE are all here for you no matter what......so go with the flow of how your feeling at the time...cry, scream, be angry at the injustice of it all, just make sure you let it out.  I cried when I lost my hair as a matter of fact I do most of my crying in the bathroom after i've showered for some reason, I think it's because no one can see me as I have a family of 6 kids and I don't want them to see me upset or it sets them off too.....haha!  Anyway I hope my story helps you to come to terms with this awefull situation.

I'll be thinking of you when you have your 1st treatment and I hope you sail through it too  :-)

Brightest Blessings,  Susan  xxx