This might seem silly.

Words, wonderful words.  For me it's certainly not a "journey" @viking1.  I've disliked that euphemism ever since diagnosis (hadn't thought about it before).  For me, a journey has positive overtones and I'm not finding an awful lot positive about this at the moment - although that may come.  It certainly has been a life experience.  But I call it what it is - cancer.  Is it a death sentence?  That I don't know, yet.  It has been for some around me.   But then, life is a death sentence.  What I find difficult about cancer is being taken out of time and place.  Who am I and what meaning do I have in my life? - at least the "my life" that I want to recognise.  And how will I shape that life back to something real for me once this is done, assuming that it is ever done?  I really resent the time it is taking from my life and my family's lives and the impact it will have in the short and the long-term.  I resent the fact that the person who has never been happy without a book in hand has only been able to read one book in 4 weeks.  Will I still be able to be the weird mum who jumps on the skateboard or climbs the ropes over Taronga (almost ended in disaster, that one)?  And when do I stop feeling like an invalid?...participating in the world from the sidelines.  I can only hope that it has some positives in the end as any true life experience should.  Very philisophical 5am - makes a change from, "I can't sleep".