This might seem silly.

I didn't have vomiting or nausea during chemo, but was hospitalised twice for neutropenia and a PE and pneunomia.  Even then I didn't feel "sick", just in pain - which still exists from my axillary clearance scar.  I still have 2 rads to go and herceptin till September.  I equate being sick with something like the flu.  Even with severe diarrhoea during neutropenia I still saw it as a side effect.  I don't know what I will say if anyone asks as I think of it as having an operation and then preventative treatment.  I might just say I had an op and treatment.  I'm not in denial ... I don't think! It just feels as though I had stuff 'done to me' that wasn't particularly pleasant, with a few stuff ups thrown in for good measure.  My lumpectomy was last June and I think I said elsewhere that I recall women saying that during birth, it was awful, but later on they started to forget the pain.  I feel like I am already forgetting what I know was a horrible interlude.  I don't call it my 'journey', no offense to those who do. I just imagine a journey as something nice! During the whole thing, I would say that I suffered most miserably and psychologically with immediate family members.  That was the most sickening part of the experience.  I found out very late in the piece that if you are having problems in this area, you need to get help asap from a counsellor or social worker, and your good friends.  You may have to take time out from negative family dynamic however you can. I live with extended family so had to keep myself fairly isolated from them, not engage in any conflict, put myself first and even give up or give in to things that were not worth fighting for because of the emotional backlash.  I think in retrospect your self care psychologically is paramount...people probably cause more pain than the disease.  Thank God we have sites like this and other kind people out there and good friends.xxx