Remision??

Thank you ladies for your wonderful thought provoking support and ideas.

I am sitting here still in my jamas and it is 2.32pm. I haven't really got up yet - perhaps I will before my partner comes home from work to tell me that I could have been busy today.

For me, getting back to "normal" is living as I did before my diagnosis. It really isn't happening and my good friend from my support group told me that it probably won't ever happen. My life has changed irrivocably and irreversably. How can "normal" be normal any more?

I don't think I could be as brave or inspiring as you Joy, or Amanda. I am grateful that my cancer was caught very early even though it did mean I lost my breast in order to live. My surgeon said "you don't have a choice - you will lose your nipple anyway - we may as well take the whole breast" My inbuilt desire to live won over and I said "YES" to him, though I wanted it as a last resort not first. Oh well, I am alive and well. Albeit I have still my bad days - most are good as I wander through life post chemo - and still taking tamoxifen for another 5 yrs telling people that my treatment is all over and smiling at them as though I am happy to be alive. I am - they say "it wasn't that long ago that you were dianosed, and you have come through it all well - I am proud of you" 

I am proud of myself too - though I still want to cry sometimes when I re-live what has happened in my mind. I know I am truly blessed to be where I am today. I just wonder if I will ever find "normal" again.

I wish you all a most wonderful and happy Christmas. Make it the best you have ever had, no matter what. Then make every Christmas there-after the best again and we will all win our battles.

Love and Blessings

Sandy xx