Forum Discussion

benellendan's avatar
benellendan
Member
15 years ago

Reminders

I found out this week that a dear friend (I've known since my high school days) has been diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer and needs to have a bilateral mastectomy with chemo starting straight away (it's gone into her blood stream).  My heart hurt for her so much - she's 10,000 miles away and the only way I can show support is to telephone her and email her.  She's had lots of question - things she's either too afraid to ask the doctors about or can't ask anyone else because they haven't gone through this process.  I've been as honest and supportive as I can be, but I feel so helpless.  It's interesting to go through this process as both the previous patient and now the supporting friend.  I realise how much my dear friends went through when I was diagnosed.  That makes them all the more special to me.  

It's also been a few weeks of reminders for me.  Reminders about what I've been through, what I'm going through now and what I most likely will go through in the future.  I'm a very positive person and think that the cancer is gone and yet....there's this thought in the back of my mind, is it really?  Because of an underlying medical condition that I hadn't had any issues with before the breast cancer, but has flared like an angry animal now (rheumatoid arthritis) that my medical support team are finding hard to control, I have to consider working part time permanently.  Not only is there the worry about the finances (big drop in income), the psychological effects of giving up full time work (in a job I have loved doing), the invasive questions from the superannuation board, and the reems of paperwork I have to provide, there is no guarantee that the cancer is gone.  I have to remind myself daily that I only have the strength to deal with today's problems - tomorrow's problems will have to wait.

3 Replies

  • Shazbo's avatar
    Shazbo
    Member
    15 years ago

    Yes well i suppose living in another country and time zone has it own problems but at least you are their for your friend when she needs you. I was on tamoxifin but it didn't stop the cancer  so have tried a few and am now on Famara your right the pain is the best of two evils take care Shazbo

  • benellendan's avatar
    benellendan
    Member
    15 years ago

    Thanks Shazbo.  It's interesting to note that when I saw my surgeon for my one year anniversary checkup I told him that I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and that I thought the chemo may have triggered it.  He actually agreed and said the hormone tablet Arimidex that I'm taking is also most likely aggravating the condition (!).  He suggested I speak to my oncologist when I next see him and ask about being moved to Tamoxifin.  The problem is we already had that conversation and because of my age, the oncologist wants me to persevere because it's his professional opinion that Arimidex is a better drug at keeping cancer away.  So which is it?  Do I allow myself to succumb to breast cancer or do I continue living with this painful, destructive arthritis?  Today, I choose the arthritis - I want to live long enough to enjoy seeing my children get married (or go on living their lives successfully whether married or not) and hopefully one day see my grandchildren born.  Pain is pain, but thankfully there are lots of drugs to help with it!  Thanks for sharing - you're right about the feeling I get in helping someone else through the struggle.  I do use Skype the but problem is that she's in the States (16 hours behind us) and when I'm awake, she's asleep and when she's asleep I'm awake!  We have 'talked' online though so that's something and I do call her when I get the chance....

  • Shazbo's avatar
    Shazbo
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Benellendan

    I have stage 4 breasts cancer and had a very good friend of mine diagnosed 3 years after myself it awe full that she had it but was fantastic that I could help her get through her surgery and treatments with informed information and support close by and I think I got as much out of helping her as she did to, she found her breasts cancer early and is now all clear and getting back to normal. One thing you might try with your friend is SKYPE you can down load it from the internet and can talk face to face it doesn’t cost anything just a small amount of your download for the call. I also suffer from bad arthritis but have been using Mobic of recent times and found it to help heaps I didn’t have any sign of arthritis before chemo and now I am riddled with it I think it was the Chemo that did it, I have spoken to a few women and they say the same thing I have mention it to my oncologists but she doesn’t think their is a link. Hope this helps a little Shazbo