Julie, I know what you mean. It feels so counter intuitive doesn't it - being zapped with radiation when we've already had cancer. I used lay there under the big machine wondering whether the buzzing radiation was doing me more harm than good. However, I did complete my 30 sessions. It was a drag but I was lucky I didn't suffer any major side-effects. I only had my lump removed though so I expect your case is different. I would ask the oncologist to give you some recurrance rates for if you do have it and if you don't. There is an online program oncologists use - Adjuvant online - to work this out. If the benefit isnt much you might want to stop. Ultimately it is your decision. But just make sure it is an informed one. Good luck. Janet
Firstly let me welcome you to the site. I hear your concerns. The first time I was heading off for radiation treatment (8 hours drive and 7 weeks away from home) I felt so terrified. This was in December 2006. I had experienced surgery, pain, illness before in my life but this was something "unknown". My surgeon at the time said to view the whole experience as an extended holiday. As I had never had one of these I thought "Why not". I did arm myself with loads of info from "someone who had gone before me". Then when I had to return to Brisbane for a second round of radiation in Feb 2011, I felt okay with it all. Yes second time around I was warned that I was at high risk of lymphodema as they were radiating the same area again. I too had radiation to my neck and all of my left shoulder. It is quite funny- whenever I have a massage with a new service provider they are astounded with my left shoulder. Not sure what they mean "Holy hell your left shoulder is a mess". I figure it still works okay so that's alright. It must be that all the muscle is "mutilated" or stiff or whatever who knows. Yes I did prove them wrong with the lymphodema - for a while. I now suffer with mild lymphodema - and I manage it. Right from the beginning I have had regular lymphatic drainage massages - to keep "it" at bay. Now I manage the problem with regular self massages, compression sleeve and more regular lymphatic drainage massages. It can be a nuisance with fitting clothes etc. There are people worst off than myself so I am grateful that I can manage it. If I feel self conscious then I just camoflauge the arm with my compression sleeve and long sleeved clothes. What helped me through radiation therapy was : taking really good care of myself through diet, moisturising, rest and saying NO to whatever and whoever when I got tired. Wearing only cotton clothing whilst having radiation therapy and until the "burns" heal will make your life much more bearable. Each day I put a smile on my face, some nice colourful clothes and a bright lipstick before heading off to the clinic. It made me feel good and I like to think that I brightened up someone else's day as well. Take care and before you know it - finished!!!!!! Yah!!!XLeonie
