Oh dear you have had a bad trot.
After my breast cancer diagnosis I was referred for a PET scan ( due to the size of the tumour) and it showed up something suspicious in my thyroid.
I was referred for a thyroid biopsy which showed a tiny completely independent cancer ( not a metastasis of the breast cancer).
The mental state I was in during all that was pretty bad but once I actually saw the thyroid specialist and we had the plan to remove the thyroid ( had this done a month after my radiotherapy finished) I felt a lot calmer.
As many have said on the forum, a cancer diagnosis does really mess with your head and professional counselling can help .
I think for me I had always regarded my self as “ bulletproof” and hardly ever took a sick day at work , so I was grieving the loss of my bulletproof self.
One thing I have learned is that you need to look after yourself and some times I play the “ cancer card” if I just don’t feel up to doing something.
Although the Covid 19 business had been hard, the fact that my breast cancer diagnosis was 12 months ago means I have had less activities I have had to say no to ( who wants to go to a party or pub when you are randomly crying at the smallest things).
Things will get better but it will take time.
Sending virtual hugs.