@Fufan - feeling lonely and confused (even in a room full of people) is totally normal .... as no-one else is going thru what you are going thru. xx
That's good that she has made contact and given you the pillow & the bra .... They are usually the 'first point of contact' if you have a query re pain or any issue that you notice during your recovery from surgery & ongoing treatment. BCNA also has a helpline Mon-Fri that you can call (the 1800 number is in the blue banner at the top of the page.)
I must admit, that my own experience with the BC nurse was a bit weird .... as the surgeon's nurse didn't always return my calls - and the BC nurse in my 'regional area' had left & hadn't been replaced .... so I just used the forum (and a couple of good friends who'd also had BC to bounce off) for most of my info and support - as everyone here 'gets it', having been thru it.
If you have anything that you'd like to discuss in particular ..... put up a new thread, with the 'problem' identified in the heading - and we'll do our best to help you thru it. Maybe contact your GP (or social worker at the hospital) to see if you can speak with a psychologist re 'coping mechanisms' for when you are stressed or upset?
Try not to 'overthink things' ..... take it day by day, hour by hour, if necessary xx
Take care & all the best with your ongoing treatment xx