I am in awe of you and Joy doing this"gig"on your own.I was lucky to have my retired husband to hold my hand through it all(twice-poor man).Joy sums it up so well and yes,those drugs do weird things to your head.It's such a big chunck of time out your life getting through all the treatments. Sounds like you might be at the half way mark?You get fed up feeling so rotten and that little light at the end of the tunnel is but a mere flicker and a long way off.I would have "doona days"when I felt bad and on good days I would reward myself with a small treat -go to the movies,buy a top etc.There is also alot of emotional stuff to deal with too- losing a boob,losing hair,facing your mortality and for you Donna,still grieving for your mum no doubt.Family and friends are wonderful but it wouldn't hurt to have some counselling-maybe at the hospital where you have chemo? When I finished chemo and started on Tamoxifen I thought it's side effects were sending me nuts.I started taking a low dose antidepressant and I felt much better.From memory(2003),it took about 2 years post bc treatment to feel abit more confident in my health.I'm giving myself about that time again.Chemo does tend to take away our control so you just have to look for it in other ways.I think planning a trip to Hawaii and spending lots of money at their shops sounds like a wonderful goal.But don't forget to have mini goals to look forward too as well.And you are not alone cos we have read your blog and understand what you are going through.
Tonya xx