I'm now a year older!

Hi Kathy

I run everything past my oncologist.  She is OK with the Chinese medicine - I do accupuncture weekly and take herbs - i have them all listed but there are none that they really know anything about with respect to contraindications so they don't say no.  They are a little more stringent with things like antioxidants - vitamin c mega doses, echinacea, Co Q10 etc... - there is a list we were given of things to avoid.  There is actually quite a bit of positive research with accupuncture so they are quite OK with that.  I also get them to do more detailed bloods every now and again to check things like my calcium, vitamin D and iron levels.  My onc is aware of my diet and OK with it so long as I am still enjoying food and not losing too much weight (I am struggling a little to maintain weight  - for the first time in my life!) So I am keeping a close eye on this and very focused on ensuring I get enough protein each day.

Meditation is wonderful but challenging.  Like all life changes it is taking practice and committment.  I have done an introductory course into mindfullness meditation and am open to trying other techniques and groups.  Finding some stillness in the day and among all of the busyness both in life and in my head is amazingly beneficial though I do find it difficult with little children to find a significant amount of time to devote to this so I am trying to have few expectations and just commit to a daily practice and go from there.

It is very difficult with the children.  Since my secondary diagnosis we have possibly been a little less open about the extent of things.  We have tried to keep it simple and based around the practicalities of what it means for them - i.e. mummy having treatment weekly, needing extra help in the house, grandparents staying to help etc...  My son who is 4 thought he had caused the cancer too as the day I had my mammogram he and I fell down the stairs!  My 6 year old daughter has found it very difficult and has been very teary, clingy at school and having lots of psychosomatic pains - in her tummy, head etc  - she was never like this before.  My eldest daughter who is nearly 10 has been very stoic - she doesn't talk about it much and hides her emotions from me quite a bit - we were very focused on my finishing treament so to have to have more hit her hard and she got very angry about the disease and wishing it would all just go away and things be the way they were.  We just continue to say that we and the doctors are doing the very best that they can to keep mummy well and that means having the medicine every week, that we don't know how long that will be for and that the medicine can only be given at the hospital as they don't have a tablet.  And that unfortunately sometimes the medicine makes me feel tired and a bit sick in the tummy and makes it harder to fight germs sometimes which is why I ended up in hospital.  It's hard but we try to be open with them and honest and direct in answering their questions.

I wish you the very best. 

Amanda xx