I soooo need to blog!

Hi Celeste 

I am 4 months down the track after bein diagnosed with secondaries on my lungs too.  I had many of the responses you are talking about. I worked myself into a frenzy trying to work out what to do as medicine had failed when "they" said it would work.  I am only now realising there is no point worrying about what I cannot change, that there is no point blaming myself or anyone or anything else.  I still get angry and upset.  I still have very low points.  I still suffer incredible anxiety at times.

But...  I have a plan, it is my plan only.  I have hope - that can never be taken away.  I have today and I try not to waste it with worry about things I don't know and cannot control (sometimes I do this successfully - othertimes not).  I take some control by managing my diet after researching what I think will help my body to heal and cope with the treatments.  I take further control by realising my mind is a very powerful tool - that I can manage my anxiety with meditation, that I can be mindful of now and enjoy the moment, that I have a choice to think positively.  I know that it is ok to feel sad that to cry and scream is healing but not to dwell in the sadness. I find laughter incredibly healing. 

I still have the questions running through my head but less so now.  the chatter is not as constant - a couple of mornings this week I actually woke up without my first thought being of breast cancer.  Be kind to yourself - it is early days.  Be as proactive and assertive as you can be though - ask heaps of questions (write as many down before you see the dr as you can)  - you drive the bus here.  Anytime you want to get in touch - please do. 

Big hugs across cyberland to you. 

Amanda xx