Cancer is cancer! That's it. It is a terrible disease and it hits hard in many ways. Shame and guilt are not what you should feel but it happens. Maybe listen to Brene Brown on utube or Spotify. She does some amazing talks on Shame and Guilt. These are damaging emotions really and by tapping into them you are telling yourself you aren't worthy. But you are worthy aren't you? I bet you have done everything for everyone in the past. I am sure your family would want you to have a weekend away. Encourage your husband to do that fishing trip as well. Both can happen and both of you deserve it.