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Catherine_M's avatar
Catherine_M
Member
14 years ago

1st time blogger

I am a first timer writing a blog but something happenned to me recently that I wanted to share and get feed back on.

Firstly a short background on me I am 6 months post partial mastectomy, sentinal node biopsy & 6 weeks of radiotherapy. I am on tamoxifen for 5 yrs. Iam very grateful that I didn't have to go through chemo, I have a very supportive family and have put the experience away in the past as much as I can and I am getting on with life and am very active.

I met a lady recently who had a total mastectomy & lymph node clearance & full reconstruction10 yrs ago & no further treatment.This was back in the days before staging procedures as we have now. In many cases if these ladies had a diagnoses of breast cancer now they would not have had to have a total mastecomy as we now know.

We were at dinner and she was talking about her surgery etc and turned to me and said "yes but you only had a lumpectomy".I was horified by the lack of empathy shown as I always expected more from others who have been through the breast cancer experience. I felt she had minimised my experience & I was  gobsmacked!

I am not one to talk about my experience outside of my close family & friends but this is not the first time I have had a lack of empathy shown from ladies who had breast cancer before staging and had the disfiguring surgery of mastectomy & reconstruction and the awful emotional battle that comes with that drastic surgery.

Yes I feel very fortunate that I was diagnosed now when there has been great advances made but it is not a competition, can't we all support each other and get on with life? I think humour & support has helped me immensley.

Catherine M

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Catherine,

    Your dinner guest doesn't sound too empathetic at all.I mean,you are only 6 months post surgery and may still feel abit vulnerable.You are right,it's not a competition and afterall,cancer is cancer no matter which way you get rid of it. Perhaps she is still not psychologically ok with not having a boob.I have had 2 bouts of cancer(7yrs apart)and did lumpectomy,full node clearance,radiation and  then last year had mastectomy then chemo.I can say that all treatments are pretty awful.However,completely losing a boob and your hair is probably the most mentally challenging aspect to come to terms with.(for me anyway).Hope you keep recovering well and you'll get lots of support on this site.

                                                       Tonya

     

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Catherine,

    Your dinner guest doesn't sound too empathetic at all.I mean,you are only 6 months post surgery and may still feel abit vulnerable.You are right,it's not a competition and afterall,cancer is cancer no matter which way you get rid of it. Perhaps she is still not psychologically ok with not having a boob.I have had 2 bouts of cancer(7yrs apart)and did lumpectomy,full node clearance,radiation and  then last year had mastectomy then chemo.I can say that all treatments are pretty awful.However,completely losing a boob and your hair is probably the most mentally challenging aspect to come to terms with.(for me anyway).Hope you keep recovering well and you'll get lots of support on this site.

                                                       Tonya