Going ahead Alone

arpie
arpie Member Posts: 7,523
2022 has been a tough year - and then it got tougher again. 

Hubby's chemo treatment changed in Dec and from then on, sadly, he lost his hair (of which he was always VERY proud, to have a full head of luxurious hair at age 85) & sadly also had trips to hospital for infections & reactions to vaccinations. 

Then, when his cancer markers went thru the roof in late March, the decision was made to stop chemo.

Sadly, after doing so well til the end of last year (after being diagnosed Stage 4 in January '21) my beloved husband passed away on May 29th after a sudden downturn in mobility and function.  He was active & alert, swimming at the Hydro Pool on the Monday & attended the dentist with me on the Tues, but then had difficulty standing up. I had to call the Ambos and he was taken to hospital on the Wed, where I was told he would not be going home. I was with him 24/7, with a bed/chair set up for me in his room and helped the nurses with his care.  Family gathered, including our stepson & wife who flew in from NZ - and he passed peacefully, early on the Sunday morning.

We had a lovely Farewell Service overlooking his favourite beach that he had run along daily, for almost 20 years.

It is tough.  It is just SO tough, going it alone after a wonderful partnership of nearly 40 years. 

The grief is 24/7 and ongoing - in small waves & big waves - at any time, night & day.

I've had wonderful support from family & friends & also my close friends here on the forum and I thank you for that. xx You've helped keep me sane.  xx

The paperwork & legal stuff is ongoing & very emotional  .... 

And then, just to make things even more difficult, our ground floor level & garage were water impacted by the deluge 3 weeks ago & I now have carpet pulled up & stuffed tools & musical instruments & am awaiting an insurance assessment re repair or replacement. 

It is not what I really needed at this point in time - tho it is keeping me busy, which is good, sort of.  :( 

Life is tough just now.

take care xx. Give your partner a special hug xx

Comments

  • Anne65
    Anne65 Member Posts: 425
    My tears are flowing again for you, my friend but "The famous Five" will be by your side every step of the way holding your hand & sending you love, strength & support. You dont deserve this but you are one of the toughest people I know & you will get through this. Take care xx  <3 
  • Locksley
    Locksley Member Posts: 911
    @arpie I am sorry for your loss of your dear husband.  You are an incredible person for newbies and oldies alike.    When you replied to me I felt like someone  understood listened and your words helped me more than you know. Xxxx
  • AllyJay
    AllyJay Member Posts: 942
    Dear @arpie...I'm so very sorry to read your very sad news about the loss of your beloved. No words I can say will relieve your pain and sorrow, but I am thinking of you and send you my love. Ally.
  • Cath62
    Cath62 Member Posts: 1,268
    Dear @arpie, you are so brave and strong. You are always here for all of us when we need a friend or advice. My heart goes out to you and I am here for you at this very challenging time. Be kind to yourself my friend and know you are always in my thoughts. 💐
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,513
    Big massive hugs to you ♥️♥️♥️♥️. I’m glad you’re reaching out 🦋
  • Glynnis
    Glynnis Member Posts: 353
    Dear @arpie, I’m sos so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved husband, thinking of you at this sad time
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,542
    May your tears be scattered with smiles knowing what a wonderful life you both had together and that his spirit is with you on your next journey of adjusting without his physical presence.
    Sending you a virtual hug 
  • jennyss
    jennyss Member Posts: 1,951
    Dear @arpie,
    Love and best wishes from jennyss in Western NSW

  • Julez1958
    Julez1958 Member Posts: 1,103
    Virtual hugs @arpie
  • Blossom1961
    Blossom1961 Member Posts: 2,362
    Sending massive hugs to you my lovely friend. You have always given so much of yourself and now it is time to accept the love and support of others. Enjoy your AI break. xoxoxoxox