Nervous about surgery

Tomorrow is my second appointment with my lovely new surgeon after my initial diagnosis on the 4th June and hopefully I will find out my surgery date for mastectomy which they have promised will be in the next few weeks. I have invasive lobular carcinoma in the right breast, several lumps, but the left one appears to be fine.
I'm so nervous about the surgery and the treatments afterwards. I'm sure everyone feels the same way - any tips for keeping myself calm? I feel so fit and well right now, it is almost unbelievable that in a few weeks I will be sick and sore and my body will have changed so much. Part of me just wants to get it over and done with and part of me is resisting the whole thing. I keep flashing forward to being in hospital and I start getting very anxious. I've had a couple of surgeries before and I wasn't as wound up about those as I am about this.
Any advice will be gratefully received.
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It is normal and understandable to be nervous. I found the surgery was pretty straightforward - I didn’t have any complications and I was home after a week and mainly taking Panadol for pain relief - for the first few days, I took much stronger medication. I had a drain in each side and these were removed before I came home. The physio will give you exercises and these are extremely important in your recovery so that you get your movement range back, but don’t overdo it, just do what is recommended. If you are in pain, take the medication as it is all very individual and whilst you are in pain, you cannot recover properly.
Button up tops and pjs are perfect as you don’t want to have to lift your arm up. I didn’t know what to expect when I woke up - what would I look like? The best way to describe my incisions is two incisions like smiles with a strip of tape over them. I want to tell you this as I thought I was going to come out all bandaged up and that wasn’t the case for me.
You will have restricted movement, but this will improve each week. When people offer to help, let them. The surgery is changing a part of you, but it is also a giant step forward to your recovery. I talked my surgery through with a psychologist just to get some clarity. Remember to ask as many questions as you need to.
I think I know a little of how you are feeling and I am very happy to help if I can - ask away. There is also a private group here for ILC specifically, but you just need to ask to join. There is a lot of great information there. I am also tagging @arpie as she has some great links that I think you will find helpful. Take care x
I guess everyone goes through this panicky feeling and I just have to woman-up and be brave but I'm still feeling so nervous. Thank goodness for this site and the support of other people who have gone through this.
I really appreciate your comment.
Deep breaths, music, talks, meditation, nature. You’ll be fine 😊💟
@Mazbeth has given you some top info ..... just try not to overthink it. It really does 'muck with your brain' otherwise. I found that keeping busy in the lead up to the surgery is good ..... and post op as well, as you are able! Just make sure you take the Panadol as prescribed - as you don't get any brownie points for 'putting up with it'!
Yep - that puppy isn't doing you any favours .... so best it not be there!! Tho, I must admit, I did take some 'before' pics, just for my own reference! Are you having a single mastectomy or are you having both done?
I treated myself to a week on Norfolk Island with my ukulele buddies ..... and loved it!! Make sure you give yourself a 'treat' now & then, as reward for what you've been thru!
take care and all the best xx. We've 'got your back' - you are not alone! xx
It is completely normal to feel anxious following a breast cancer diagnosis.
it is a huge shock and a lot to take in.
you are at the right place on this forum as we have all been there.
Even though rationally I know I had a great team of Doctors and was in a great facility, the emotional side of me was running riot ( there is a great lady on here with the pen name of “ riot at midnight” which really resonated with me).
There are many suggestions for trying to calm yourself down including deep breathing, meditation, and listening to music.
whatever works for you.
it WILL get better , I found myself a lot calmer once I had a confirmed surgery date ( I had a left mastectomy for lobular cancer) and then once I was being wheeled into the operating theatre I did feel all my cares drift away ( actually I think that was the anaesthetic!)
One other thing is you will cry a lot and that’s ok, it’s all part of coming yo terms with the loss.I called it “ the loss of my bulletproof self”.
Keep well and don’t hesitate to post on here and read other’s stories, I found it really helpful.
I lead our local Uke Group, @annajjj - and it was with their support and humour (and family & friends & then this forum) that helped me get thru my active treatment and afterwards too. You'd be a 'natural' to join a uke group!! Most towns & cities have Uke Groups - check them out!
I am in a total time warp re music - I don't recognise anything much after the mid 80s either ....... I just love anything from the 20/30s onward to the mid 80s!
Just turn that music up LOUD & enjoy!! Make sure you take your ipod/music supply with you to the hospital too as you'll get sick of any piped music (and make sure you take all the necessary chargers for them & your phone - AND take them home again ...) Hospitals are noisy, brightly lit places - so take ear plugs & eye masks to wear at night too!!
I echo @AllyJay’s comment about a dressing gown with pockets - drain management can be - well, draining! - and pockets made life easier. You don’t want to be tripping over drains. I had a single mastectomy, no reconstruction, so I wasn’t in hospital long but if you are not accustomed to dining at five-ish or sleeping before eleven, something better than hospital tv is good to get you through the evenings unless you have hordes of visitors! Best wishes for your op!
Oh sorry to see you here but wishing you all the best.
I had ilc. Had - very important. I had a rhs mastectomy. No reconstruction. I asked for some skin to be left in case i wanted reconstruction later. I had a big tumour so there wasnt really an option.
The surgery itself is not that long. I felt reasonably well after and sitting up able to move my rhs arm etc. They just put a little sort of pad over it for the first night which was removed the next day. Under was a thin strip of something across the scar not unlike if you have a caesar. My mum wanted to see so i let her and she said it looked nice snd neat and seemed relieved. I didnt look for about 2 days and i felt nervous about showering and looking at it but in the end i was surprised that it was all ok. I did have night where i was upset and couldnt sleep a few nights in. I think it was sort of a post surgical reaction as im blood phobic. They gave me a sleeping tablet as i felt distressed. The dr came to see me and said kind things like the cancer is gone now.
I ended up needing chemo and radiotherapy. It was a big tumor and im relatively young, 49 now. Risk management.
Remember to be kind to yourself always. How you feel is how you feel and its ok. But body is amazing, not amazing enough to grow back a boob but to knit itself back together and tackle getting well. Im still amazed all that happened to me.
It takes a few months to feel a bit right sleeping confortably. Hopefully theyll give you a little pillow to help and a bag to carry the drains for the first week. If you get the opportunity stay and be cared for. I oddly thought id be back to work quick smart but that proved a bit silly in my case. I worked 12 hours and my head was a bit not there emotionally so i took the opportunity to take a longer break. Its the shock i think. I needed to process.
Im good now. Just passed 1 year since diagnosis, waiting for my 1 yr mammogram ( my dr is in quarantine for 2 weeks so its been delayed a week). Not expecting any problems. Still just the one boob and planningcto get skin removed at the end of the year rather than reconstruction - but glad i had the option.
Best of luck.
Michele