Scanxiety management
Raich
Member Posts: 114 ✭
Hi All,
Back again for sage advice and wisdom.
Back again for sage advice and wisdom.
I have been doing okay. Survived my first term of teaching after 6 months away.
The new issue is discovering how what were once routine procedures that didn’t bother me, now have me crying like a baby and hyperventilating.
Scans I had last year during my BC treatment discovered polyps on my lungs - which was discussed at my first presurgical BC appointment last August but I conveniently forgot so had a total meltdown when the letter arrived in January announcing I was due for a lung scan 😳
so I went in for the CT and was completely shocked when , as the machine started up I just burst into tears.
so I went in for the CT and was completely shocked when , as the machine started up I just burst into tears.
Got through it, told myself I was okay.
Results came back reasonably clear. But (yay) they found polyps on my thyroid.
Same issue during the ultrasound. Crying (very silently) trying desperately to reassure myself everything was ok.
So next week I have to go in for a guided needle biopsy on my thyroid polyps ( oh fucking joy) and I know I’m going to have trouble because my phantom boob still recoils at the memory of the damn painful core biopsy last July. And there’ll be the crying which just happens now. Beyond my control.
I’m considering ( in lieu of getting rolling drunk) taking a travacalm before I go in. Not sure I have time to see a doctor for a script for anything stronger.
Any advice? 😬. Before you say grounding techniques... things you can see , hear, etc.... everything reminded me I was in a hospital!!! Which didn’t help a bit... just triggered me more!!! 🤣🤫
maybe I’ll put a high vis coat on my dog.... take him in as my support 🧐
maybe I’ll put a high vis coat on my dog.... take him in as my support 🧐
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Comments
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I feel for you @Raich. When I go for check ups and scans etc, I also start crying in the waiting room, changing room, on the machine etc. I’m mostly over the whole diagnosis part of it, but for some reason I get all teary. Could be a mixture of fear, anxiety, anger, gratitude, relief. I just let the tears roll. They’re there for a reason. Obviously the situation stirs something, so I let it come out and release.Not sure what to tell you, except I understand what you’re going through and let your emotions out. And maybe take something calming for longer appointments ♥️5
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Hey @Raich,
Scanxiety ugghhhh...if it's any consolation (and I know it's not at the moment) it does get easier down the road a bit. You have a double whamy with another biopsy. No wonder you're having a freak out. The fear of something else being wrong, did it spread etc etc etc. All totally understandable and bloody awful. I really dislike it when your body takes over and you can't control the tears and shaking in your boots.
Personally, I like the rolling drunk idea, that would give them something to talk about! Seriously though, just make sure you speak up and tell them how you're feeling. Some staff will care, others will just go about their job. Luck of the draw in that department lovely.
Personally, the grounding, stay in the moment thing doesn't work for me either. I tend to use music. I got through a barage of follow up scans and core biopsies for over 18 months trying to track another "suspicious thingy" by trying to remember the words to American Pie every time i would get in the MRI machine. No cheating, if you make a mistake you have to start the song again from the beginning. Just gives you something else to concentrate on. I also use going total zombie mode and shut down completely.
See if you can talk your gp into a nice packet of Diaz
All the best lovely. I feel for you sweet.8 -
Yeah, take whatever seems reasonable (advice from personal experience. do no take Phenergan unless you are sure it won't turn you into a rolling drunk)
I've got a counting program I use when I have to get into unpleasant machines or people want to stab me. Start counting backwards from 27, three second breaths in, three second breathes out for each number. Then from 26, then 25 etc. If you can hold it together, the program thing takes about 45 minutes. If you forget where you are up to, you have to start again.
When I assume the required position, I tell people not to talk to me. Some well meaning do-gooder usually fucks it up. But I start with good intentions. It has worked for me. So have drugs. Best of luck. Mxx4 -
Gosh you've been having a rough time of it @Raich xx The girls have given some great advice .... I don't think they hand out 'Mother's Little Helper' anymore (Valium)?
take care & all the best for the biopsy & we've all got our fingers & toes crossed for good results xx
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Thank you beautiful friends. I appreciate your advice and reassurance. It is so goood to know I’m not the only one. After the grounding techniques failed I ended up getting through the last ultrasound by imagining my very naughty kitten was sitting on my chest purring. It helped a lot .
I’ve been able to sneak in a doctors appointment on Monday afternoon at the practice I usually go to. I’ll have a chat to the doc and see what she recommends. I’m on Tamoxifen, antidepressants and dexamphetamines so want to be sure if I am allowed to take something that it’s safe . Xxx biggest hugs to you all ❤️❤️❤️8 -
Best wishes to you @Raich. I went through my first mammogram and ultrasound post treatment recently. I was a mess. I was ok until I got on the bed for the ultrasound and then I wept like I never have before. It was surreal. I am normally very logical so I even surprised myself. The girl doing the ultrasound didn't know what to do. It just ran its course and once I was back in the waiting room I had no more tears. I take heart in the fact it gets easier as years pass.2
