what next

tisme
tisme Member Posts: 148
edited February 2021 in General discussion
tomorrow is the day I get my scan results for the 2nd annual scan  how do u handle the fear ?? what if what if on top of everything else that's gone on health wise since i was diagnosed and had radiation  i dont have the strength , and what will happen to autistic  daughter I'm  just so  tired   
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  • MicheleR
    MicheleR Member Posts: 343
    Hi @tisme,

    Im not up to annual scans yet so cant help personally but have you seen the bcna webinar of fear of recurrence? Maybe there is somethingvin there for you. Is being advertised at the top of the posts.

    Hope the results are good. 
    Michele
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,513
    Hello @tisme
    I think you need more help than with just scan anxiety. Do you have anyone to help take care of your daughter? Sounds like you’ve had a rough time, you prob need a break. If you have family or trusted friends, please reach out for help. Also, ask your GP or your onco for a psychologist. They are usually free through your GP or onc, and can help you a lot with relieving anxiety and stress. Ring the cancer council and ask if they can also provide help of any sorts. We are all strong, but we also all need help and time off from it all ♥️
  • tisme
    tisme Member Posts: 148
    ive been to several psychologists and they all say they can see my issues but dont know how to help , my gp wants me on quetapine the write ups on it arent good for those with hormone related breast cancer  its been a heck of a year , cancer /Rheumatoid arthritis /osteo arthritis /shingles /chiari1 malformation/non alcoholic fatty liver  now flu and this , I have no family now they are all gone , friends I thought I had I dont so I dont bother trying to make more 
  • MicheleR
    MicheleR Member Posts: 343
    Hi @tisme,

    Im so sorry to hear your troubles.

    I had a minor car accident yesterday and felt like i was a bit defeated. Ive been through all this and now my car written off too. 

    The reason im telling you about my day is to let you know its okay to have days where you are tired and a bit defeated. Emotions wash over you and you can try to notice them and sit them out. 

    Maybe try to deal with one thing at a time. Your  results are due today? Once you have them you will know where you are. 

    Then maybe you can try and reach out to a support organisation to look for some help. Maybe with your daughter. I think everyone needs a little support themsrlves and if psycholgists arent quite there maybe you could look for a face to face meet up with other breast cancer thrivers? Or an exercise group?

  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,513
    @tisme yes, sounds quite tough. As @MicheleR suggested, maybe you should try joining a meet up group with other ladies. I have and it’s great support. If psychologists give up, doesn’t mean you should. The best friends for us now are other breasties. Google and ring around. Help comes when we seek it 
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,513
    So sorry to hear about the car thing @MicheleR 😕😕. Hope you’re ok. 
    How’s work going? Are you settling in? 
  • MicheleR
    MicheleR Member Posts: 343
    @FLClover,

    Yeah thanks. A oain but feeling more positive today.

    No matter how tough we are we have been through a big thing and sometimes we feel vulnerable. Bit of a reminder to be kind to myself. 
  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,513
    @MicheleR absolutely. Good to hear you’re taking more care of yourself 👌🏻
  • MicheleR
    MicheleR Member Posts: 343
    Hi @tisme,

    How did you go?
  • tisme
    tisme Member Posts: 148
    the specialist rang ( one of those telehealth chats ) and said the scans were clear  next consult in 3 months next scan in 12 months 
  • Keeping_positive1
    Keeping_positive1 Member Posts: 555
    Hi @tisme, being a single parent myself (although my child is an adult now) , I can really understand the fear you are going through!  To my way of understanding, psychologists are not trained in a way to understand individual struggles, but they really try to get us to search within for the answers for ourselves.  I agree a meet up group may be of help.  Perhaps a group that have children/adults with autism?  Support groups can be of great value, as those in the group have "lived" experience, whereas most psychologists have "text book" experience.  

    Don't underestimate your own potential to know what is best for you @tisme, and please don't listen to those that give up on you and your situation!  


  • tisme
    tisme Member Posts: 148
    my daughter is 36
  • Keeping_positive1
    Keeping_positive1 Member Posts: 555
    Can your daughter access any respite care? 
  • tisme
    tisme Member Posts: 148
    possibly thru NDIS but she wont and I dont have the strength to argue
  • MicheleR
    MicheleR Member Posts: 343
    Great news re the scan results !