Thank you and Hello

Scoops
Scoops Member Posts: 14
edited February 2019 in Newly diagnosed
I’ve been a member of this unique club since diagnosis in Jan 2019 and as some have written,  chose  not to be an immediate contributor. I feel moved today to say hello and say a humble thank you to those contributors who have provided some of the most thoughtful, uplifting and honest advice that to members in such angst and crying out for additional support. 

My journey todate ...
Mammogram taken in November and would you believe I was rung on Dec 17 to say follow up required to which I said yes sure I’ll come in tomorrow and have a further mammogram. The response floored me - no we are closed tomorrow for Christmas but I’ll pop you in on Jan 10. So I gave my happy Christmas back ... what was the point of telling me prior to Christmas ... 
Biopsy confirmed ILC 3cms so Lumpectomy surgery and SNL Biopsy 31 Jan with unclear margins and clear lymph nodes. Further lumpectomy and armpit drain last week with reported clear margins. Unfortunately I am producing fluid at a rate of knots so 3 drainings later I now have an infection and purple armpit. My surgeon and GP are just lovely and so responsive - even ticking the bulk bill box when I’m going private!.. But it’s wait  wait wait as we all experience that is the absolute worst ! and having spent most of my life a woman in control of most things - WTF !!  
So, I’ve done a real head spin on my diet since diagnosis, not that it was bad or that I wasn’t into exercise. Was able to get to the gym 2 days after my first lumoectomy without issue. But I’ve rehashed what I can and can’t eat so many times having made the mistake of referring to DR Google. No red meat, no almonds, yes almonds, no soy, yes soy, no tomatoes, only organic, no dairy, no sugar, no alcohol, no fuji, apples, only walnuts in shells... the list goes on and on contradicting on... in the meantime I’ve almost destroyed the only real stable aspect in my life - my wonderful supportive partner of 18 years.

I guess we all process in different ways and mine has been to desperately try and control my physical state. Just letting go is 3 simple yet very condescendingly complex words.... I am trying to go with 1 step at a time and at times so scary ...
I marvel at those of you juggling work, juggling children responsibilities or having no immediate support around you and yet you are getting there... 
I  see my Oncologist for the first time bright and early Monday morning and I hope for minimally invasive treatment .... 

1 step at a time and thank you again ... and yes the club sucks but hey whilst we have joined how lucky are we to have found this space to support one another 💕


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Comments

  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    edited February 2019
    @Afraser may be able to offer you advice about an excess of fluid as she had a similar problem.

    So sorry you've joined us, and that you're having such a difficult time of it at the moment.

    I knew I needed to overhaul my diet when I was diagnosed and immediately asked my oncologist for a referral to a dietician. My GP drew up the plan that enabled me to get subsidised visits, and I'm still seeing her today. And she is more than happy for me to eat almonds! No more Dr Google... save your sanity!

    Let us know how you get on at the onc @Scoops, and keep concentrating on one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Big hug, K xox
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,354
    Welcome! You have jumped in the deep end but sound as if you are doing well. I wish I could instantly cure the fluid problem, it's an irritation you hardly need but my body went into overdrive too and kept producing nutrient rich fluid to heal me, when I was healing just fine thanks and the only ones enjoying the feast were bacteria I really didn't want to encourage! It will stop but treat any infection-like symptoms quickly. Not the time to just hope they will go away. 

    Dr Google is tempting but rarely helpful. Unless you have known food intolerances, the answer is to eat as well as you can - fruit and vegetables, fish, meat in moderation (but avoid processed meat if you can). I have chosen to reduce dairy fat for general reasons. 

    One step at a time is a good way to travel generally - you still get there and have time to smell the roses. Best wishes for your future treatment. 
  • Scoops
    Scoops Member Posts: 14
    Thanks @Zoffiel - yes those blasted shells !! 😀 
    @kmakm - yes the number of reseach projects and diets that contradict one another. I’m an almond girl from way back and so to read the they could be phytoestrogens was crumbling .... but all it’s done so far is given me a massive headache.. so I’m with you and @Afraser to eat most things in moderation particularly before I destroy the household with dos and don’t of eating based on whimsical articles anyway . I just might have a glass of wine tonight !! 
    cheers 
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,522
    Hi @Scoops   welcome to the club that no-one wants to join ..... I am glad we’ve been able to help with in some small way, to help you navigate thru the minefield of a information!

    Yep, Dr google just mucks with your brain .... if you are eating healthily and get some exercise and not falling over drunk .... you are on the right track already.   For every one that says it is good for you, there will be just as many saying it is bad for you.   My husband is an award winning triathlete who never eats fat or rubbish food and never drinks booze!  He is ”fit as” and and doesn’t carry an ounce of fat on his body.   So why did he get stomach cancer, requiring most the removal of most of his stomach?  No-one knows.  Same with BC .... no-one knows why we get BC - it is just bad luck.  The good news is that he continued on his winning ways, even after his surgery!

    I am sorry to hear of your notification before Xmas and then told you wouldn’t be seen til January - how crass - that deserves an official letter of complaint, I reckon! ..... Similar happened to me in Nov for my 1 year review ultrasound and told I needed another biopsy. Long story short .... I was screwed around for 3 weeks, jumped up and down, screamed and shouted .... but biopsy finally done 2 days before Xmas. 

    I hope your infection and fluid problem fixes up promptly .... and all the best for your appt with the Onc.    Whack up any queries you may have concerning your future treatment.  Xx


  • Blossom1961
    Blossom1961 Member Posts: 2,362
    Hi Scoops. Almonds are so high in fibre and other good stuff it would be a shame to stop eating them. I eat eight a day and have never been told they were a no go food. The only foods the world health organisation has found that is a big no no is bacon and salami but I love both so still eat them in moderation. 
  • kezmusc
    kezmusc Member Posts: 1,544
    Hi @Scoops,

    Welcome lovely. 
     I think everybody goes through the what did I do? What did I eat wrong to cause this thing.  I agree with the everything in moderation as @Afraser says. (Excluding chocolate, I have no moderation on that).  Dr Google is very confusing and you will do your head in with worry about what to eat/not eat. And you are right.  It is trying to gain some kind of control.  There's enough to worry about without overthinking how much phytoestrogen is in a couple of almonds.


    A couple of  articles if you are keen to read them.

    https://www.cancerdietitian.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/15-Cancer-Nutrition-Myths-Debunked.pdf

    https://scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org/2014/03/24/dont-believe-the-hype-10-persistent-cancer-myths-debunked/

    Good luck on Monday.

    xoxoxoxo
  • AllyJay
    AllyJay Member Posts: 942
    Hi there @Scoops...sorry you've had to join this club, but my goodness, the company is rather good here. Dr Google, judiciously used, can be helpful to decipher medical jargon and reputable sites can give clarification too. But you can and will also get the biggest mind fornification imaginable if trying to deconstruct what you ate, what you wore or washed your hair in or used to clean hour home with, to find out what evil thing you did to cause this. My theory is that the Cosmic Clowns sit wherever it is that the sit, and play with a diabolical deck of cards. if they dish out the joker to you...well this is where you find yourself. Eat a reasonable varied diet, drink in moderation, (in my case only moderately moderate at times), try not to smoke, exercise to your limits not to your pain limits, and have fun where you can. Good luck with your treatment. Ally.
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960
    Welcome @scoops.  Getting diagnosed too close to Christmas is a bitch...as is cancer, of course.
  • jennyss
    jennyss Member Posts: 1,951
    Dear @Scoops, I'm an almond fan too. I'm a South Australian in exile (NSW). An aunty and uncle had an almond farm at Willunga. Every Christmas we would be given a big  bag of almonds. Years later I worked in the  Almond Cooperative factory in Edwardstown for six months.

    for your treatment plan and diet!
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    Dry roasted is my favourite way to eat them.

    If they're not covered in milk chocolate that is!
  • Scoops
    Scoops Member Posts: 14
    Goes to show how insular, paranoid and giving myself a head strain..... when you @kmakm mentioned  dry roasted almonds I got scared of trans fats so thought when I finish the last batch I’ll make the next lot  myself !!! ....
    Hey  at least I have some strength to just stop and laugh at myself and what the hec - lets have a few milk chocolates along the way and @Zoffiel - no shells xx
  • Blossom1961
    Blossom1961 Member Posts: 2,362
    Well, I am bad. I like the honey roasted, French vanilla, salted caramel, cinnamon, and dark choc coated. I do like the dry roasted, but definitely NOT my first choice.
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392
    Hi there. 17th December was the day I found my breast lump in 2015 but I managed to get a biopsy on the 19th organised through the emergency dept (as I knew everything was closing down) i didn't get my results until the 29th due to public holidays so that was very stressful. I had to attend a funeral in this time of my sister in law who had died of cancer and just not tell anybody as it wasn't the appropriate time.  It was an extremely difficult tine. Once results back it all happened quickly after that. 

    I guess they informed you in case you had a planned holiday...which many people do at this time and wanted you to be available as soon as they re-opened. 
    If they called you on this date and you were away...well you'd have been asking why they didn't notify you before Xmas. It's always tricky knowing whats the right call. 

    I must say I hadn't heard this version of almonds...only soy. In the  end I just follow the concept of fresh foods are best where possible. That includes freshly cooked so I know what's in it. (I do freeze my own cooking though)
    I'm trying to reduce my animal fats intake as the aramatose inhibitors has pushed my cholesterol up so that  has been tricky as most alternatives are soy or beans. Moderation is key I guess. I developed lactose intolerance after chemo...so that has made me rethink my dairy. Some days my head just hurts with all the do's and don'ts abd conflicting advise.
    I might add...no specialist has ever suggested I restrict my diet in potential phytoestrogens, which I find interesting given all the warnings on google.