My first post and so confused...

@annie79 Welcome! We have all been in the fog of confusion and where you are, so it's great youve got some incredible support.

I have a few similarities to you but I am further along..so here goes...at 43 I had DCIS lumpectomy, clear margins, radiation and tamoxifen for 4 years. at 47 my routine mammo/u/sound I had a recurrence in the scar tissue of the previous lumpectomy. I underwent another major lumpectomy together with sentinel node removal. My margins were clear and no node involvement. I had IDC stage 2, grade 3, so I had to have chemo, cant have rads twice, now on Aromasin. post chemo my Oncologist suggested a single mastectomy, I was horrified, it wasnt what I wanted to do EVER!!! I was so frightened and confused and thought why?? anyway I had genetic testing which was negative, so all Specialists agreed a single only was needed.

My Surgeon works closely with a PS, so I had a single mastectomy/diep flap reconstruction in Feb 2017. I couldnt be more happier with the result and the decision. I am now 4yrs clear 2nd diagnosis, I didnt make it that far 1st time. 

All I can say to you is, it's not about anybody else, your loved ones will have opinions but at the end of the day this is about you and your body. It took me a year post treatment to do it, so mine was preventative.

I've always been a private patient but my surgeon also works in public, because I had a recurrence, he was able to put me as priority on his list together with the PS. However, for my revision surgery, he did not do it, but his colleagues which I didnt realise. 

I have zero regrets the path I chose, I had aggressive treatment for DCIS, they have no idea what happened. I could not have done a mastectomy at that point based on my diagnosis. If it had been a more severe diagnosis, however, I wouldnt have hesitated obviously.

All the best, get clear margins, and do what youre comfortable and happy with doing.

Hugs M x