Im alone and dont want to burden others
Megs04
AdelaideMember Posts: 40 ✭
Hi all. I was diagnosed Wednesday. Had to tell kids parents and a few friends. had MRI CT Bone scan waiting a week for results. Now have to go xmas shopping. Its exhausting mentally physically and emotionally. when yiu tell people you have to support and manage their stuff too.
I feel alone. Im single and each morning i wake up and cry. Its really hard to see the point. I was already stressed about money my job and was having some negative thoughts. I get heaps of people survive and to use strategies to manage my mental health but i just feel out of sorts. So reading other posts. I get emotions can be a mess. Im trying to get on with life but my flight fight response is through the roof. Dose any one relate to this or have any ideas.
Thanks for listening
I feel alone. Im single and each morning i wake up and cry. Its really hard to see the point. I was already stressed about money my job and was having some negative thoughts. I get heaps of people survive and to use strategies to manage my mental health but i just feel out of sorts. So reading other posts. I get emotions can be a mess. Im trying to get on with life but my flight fight response is through the roof. Dose any one relate to this or have any ideas.
Thanks for listening
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It's okay not to do it all.
Just write some lists of essential things you have to do. You need to look after you.
If all else fails...hand made gift certificates and going shopping individually with your kids of what they want might be an option. (I recall doing this when broke...a promise of a meal and a movie ...for instance)
@SoldierCrab ...do you have suggestions.
This time of year is even harder as the professional support networks available also go on leave. But we are here and will help you as we can. Kath x
Just jump on here for any questions you have to ask & there'll be a bunch of people able to help you out - day and night.
Sometimes I wake up & watch the dawn - even after a storm, the dawn is such a beautiful thing. Things WILL get better - it will just take a bit of time.
Once you see your surgeon & get a plan - things will start slotting into place. It is a bugger being diagnosed just now with the public holidays & all - a few of us had to wait last year til the surgeons came back from holidays before their first appointment (me included) ....
Do you have someone to attend your appointments and results with? A good friend or relative ..... it is always good to have someone there to listen 'on your behalf' as it can be stressful on your own.
The waiting for results is the ALWAYS the PITS ..... I had a 'new' biopsy yesterday, so am now waiting (alongside you) for results, too xx (I am hoping end of next week, but who knows!?) I am trying not to stress about it too much. I do this by doing stuff I love doing - playing ukulele or going fishing! What are your favourite pastimes? Do you sew, or are you an artist? Show us your stuff!
Have you been given the contact of a Breast Cancer Nurse yet? They can be a wonderful source of information & support as well.
Emotions are such a weird thing - and the track we are on is a real roller coaster ...... you can be 'on top of it' for 23/7 ... then there is just that one hour that upsets you ..... a good cry is often quite cathartic, so don't stress about it - it is better to let it all out. Our brains can be our own worst enemy just now - God knows mine's been going in overdrive for the last 3 weeks whilst waiting for my biopsy appointment!
You just need to do what is right for YOU right now - and that may not entail going out Xmas shopping!! Good old cheques may come in handy now - I bet you have some spare Xmas Cards? (I am 'old tech' - I don't 'do' online banking & stuff!!)
Take care, we're here to help you get thru the next couple of weeks ....
Thinking of you & sending some well deserved hugs xxx
It's a so and so waiting for results. A plan will give you some direction but in the meantime you have the distraction of Christmas and good times with family and friends. It's probably hard to imagine at present but you will get through! Come on here as often as you need and vent away as we get it and will help you through!
In the meantime if you are feeling totally stressed by it all then consider making someone in your circle your go to person who may be able to go to appointments with you and be the messenger rather than you repeating to everyone and having to pick up their reactions and deal with them!
Hopefully the link below to the BCNA website will give you some guidance
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/new-diagnosis/
Take care
I hear you it can be more stressful when we are single.
I want to encourage you that I got thru this single with 3 kids at home 2 with special needs.
the ladies have all given you some great advice sorry I was offline when PrimeK tagged me earlier. I will be online a bit later just about to go and do dinner.
Below are a couple of links to help you find your way around the forum and also how to find a breast care nurse and how to order a MY journey Kit if you haven't got one yet.
It can be a whirlwind when we first get a diagnosed.... Breathe and take it one step at a time.
How to post on the main forum – use this link to get to the main forum and begin a new post. https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/post/discussion
Navigating the online community formerly the what and how thread.
http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14879/navigating-the-online-community-formerly-the-what-and-how-thread
Breast Care Nurses
https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx
My Journey online tool and other resources.
My Journey Online Tool resources
https://myjourney.org.au/hp/step5
https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/
BCNA Helpline 1800 500 258
If you have any questions, concerns or require any further information or support please call 1800 500 258. BCNA’s helpline will now be open from 9am-6pm Monday to Thursday and 9am to 5pm FridaysIm so glad you have found us here at this forum.
I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer late October of this year.
I hear what you’re saying, the emotions that are running through your body, totally in shock unable to stop crying, the anxiety is through the roof feeling other people’s emotions, this is normal,what you are feeling.
One thing I can tell you it does get easier, hang in there, take it one day at a time.
Have you got a good GP, see if you can get something to help,you sleep, you’re able to deal with things a lot better once you have a good night sleep. The days will get better, you will cry less and kick into fight mode.
Everything gets better once you have a plan in place and the process starts, and you speak to these lovely ladies on this forum.
Remember you are not alone we are all here to help,you through this journey, some of us are at the start, some of us are a few weeks ahead, some are a lot further ahead and some have been cancer free for years.
Be kind to yourself, remember one day at a time.
I find meditation helps me in dealing with the waiting for results.
Deep breaths we can do this ❤️
You haven’t mentioned what city you live in as there maybe be someone close to you that can give you information in your area regarding a breast cancer nurse, psychologist etc.
We are all here for you.
Hugs and kisses xx
Carol
get on here vent scream rant there’s usually someone around to talk with and all the peeps are the best so many wise ones who have guided me so far and they are all just brilliant
Anyway I hope you get through Christmas with this...i think its even harder this time if year....keep chatting to us girls....you may find your fears are just like ours....welcome to the club xxx