Lets support our boys too! Online Partner Support Group

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Tanya
Tanya Member Posts: 380
edited September 2016 in Supporting someone with breast cancer

Hi Ladies

I just wanted  tell you about some of the support services available here on this site for our men. My husband was a tower of strength for me (as I am sure many of yours are/or try to be), but I found it surprising when he told me years later that he often drove to work with tears streaming down his face, thinking dark thoughts during my treatment and hospitalisation.

So I think it is great that there are now groups her that can give them the support that they need (even if they dont admit that they need it).  One group is completely closed so as they can be comfortable knowing that we/others can not read unless they want, others are open.  So there are choices available to them.

So please, if you think thes groups could be of interest to your partner, because I believe if they feel supported they are in turn able to support you better.  I only wish my husband had somewhere to turn for support when I was diagnosed. 

Wishing you all well.

Love Tanya xx

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  • Daina_BCNA
    Daina_BCNA Member Posts: 796 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Julia,

    As Tanya mentioned there is a central 'Partners' group where your husband can read blog posts or make his own posts or he can join the private group and feel comfortable knowing that only group members (the boys) can read.

    Central partners group - http://www.bcna.org.au/group/22285

    For the boys (private) - Partner Support for men - 'For the boys' is a group with a focus on male partners.

    I hope this is clear - if not just shout.

    Cheers, Daina

  • MandaMoo
    MandaMoo Member Posts: 500 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    I passed on the link to my husband - he just shrugged at me and said it's not his thing but he has the link and maybe one day it might be right for him. It is so hard to find support for our partners because they don't seem to seek it in the same way that women do. I am glad that there is something for those men that seek it.

    Amanda x

  • Shane
    Shane Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Amanda, talking about personal problems is not something that comes easy to us guys. Help is something we expect to give not receive, certainly when our wife / partner is dealing with a cancer diagnosis. The one thing I didn't realise was I could have done a far better job for my family if I could have dealt with my own fears.
    Just let him know it is ok to talk to someone. I'm sure any of the guys in our group would be happy to listen and share their experience if this helps. He is not alone.

    Shane.
  • Lindapinda
    Lindapinda Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2015
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    I asked my husband the other night why he didn't expect close support from his friends when he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and he replied "Because friends are for fun.". I on the other hand returned to drying my eyes from being upset and disappointed in a friend for not being around me during treatment.

    My husband then said that he only expected close support from family in times like this. Sure he talks to his friends but he doesn't expect them to call him every week to see how he/we are going.

    Thank you for making me aware of 'For the boys'. I will tell my husband and he will probably shrug also, but during my journey through all this, i am finding that you never know what can happen and test you and those around you.

    Linda.
  • Lindapinda
    Lindapinda Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2015
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    I asked my husband the other night why he didn't expect close support from his friends when he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and he replied "Because friends are for fun.". I on the other hand returned to drying my eyes from being upset and disappointed in a friend for not being around me during treatment.

    My husband then said that he only expected close support from family in times like this. Sure he talks to his friends but he doesn't expect them to call him every week to see how he/we are going.

    Thank you for making me aware of 'For the boys'. I will tell my husband and he will probably shrug also, but during my journey through all this, i am finding that you never know what can happen and test you and those around you.

    Linda.
  • Lindapinda
    Lindapinda Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2015
    Options
    I asked my husband the other night why he didn't expect close support from his friends when he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and he replied "Because friends are for fun.". I on the other hand returned to drying my eyes from being upset and disappointed in a friend for not being around me during treatment.

    My husband then said that he only expected close support from family in times like this. Sure he talks to his friends but he doesn't expect them to call him every week to see how he/we are going.

    Thank you for making me aware of 'For the boys'. I will tell my husband and he will probably shrug also, but during my journey through all this, i am finding that you never know what can happen and test you and those around you.

    Linda.

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