Forgetting things

angg66angg66 Melbourne VicMember Posts: 174
Hi all,
I am very upset today. I forgot to register my family to go to my husband's work Christmas family day. We look forward to this day every year especially the kids. But I forgot to RSVP. I used to be very diligent. I never forgot anything but since diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer my brain doesn't function the way it used to. Not only has this cancer taken my health it is also taking away my mind!


  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 2,227
    I can understand how upsetting it is to feel you are not in control. But you have had a great deal on your mind, and dropping the ball once may not mean you are losing your faculties! I would hope your husband's work firm would understand a late RSVP in the circumstances. Cancer can certainly dominate your thinking and that's perfectly understandable. Forgetting to do something may also be a subtle hint that coping with a significant health issue is serious work, if everyone is counting on you to do everything you have done in the past, a little reset may be worth thinking about. Don't be hard on yourself, you are coping with quite enough. Best wishes.
  • ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 2,659
    Yep. Forget the things you need to remember and remember the things you'd rather forget. Hang in there, you are doing the best you can. Marg xx
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 4,870
    We all forget things when under a lot of stress. Ring and explain. 

    If i fet overwhelmed I fofet names and lise things. I keep a diary with a week at a time view and tick off as I do thinfs and really important stuff I highlight.

    Last  week I have  lost my reusable  water bottle, my fitbit, my house keys. I remembered at least where my keys were...left them in the work car after I had dropped home to pick up my phone I'd forgitten to take. All because I was tired....and I am in recovery not under treatment except for AI. 

    Be kind to you. Kath x
  • KatyJoyKatyJoy Rowville victoriaMember Posts: 169
    I know so frustrating isn’t it! My daughter started high school this year and I completely missed ordering her stationary and text books! I am usually so organised with things like that. She started the first day and everyone else had theirs. They were supposed to have been ordered in November the year before! I remember standing in office works that weekend in so much pain (a few days after docetaxol chemo) in tears trying to sort out her school stuff and the staff weren’t very helpful. All the back to school stuff had sold out, the shelves were bare,  and I had to order nearly all of it in. I felt terrible, to my it was such a huge oversight, but almost a year on and I don’t think my daughter even remembers it. Be kind to yourself, try explaining and hopefully you get to attend with your family.
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 3,157
    I found an app when I was first diagnosed called Cozi it can be apple or android it is a calendar and much more it is free. I use it to keep track of what I need to do as otherwise I forget these days I am 5 yrs since diagnosis. 
  • Tilly45Tilly45 Port MacquarieMember Posts: 76
    So glad to hear it isn't just me! I was diagnosed about 3 months ago. It is definitely to do with stress, distractions and changes to usual routines. I just put everything into my iPhone calendar with double alerts, even the littlest things. I guess it's all part of getting used to adapting to this new way of doing life. I'm determined to be kind to myself and not let forgetting names, appointments and everyday things get to me. There are much more important things I want to focus on. Anyway, I'm sure people will understand. 
  • angg66angg66 Melbourne VicMember Posts: 174
    Thank you all for responding, your advice & making me feel better. I was having a bad day & realising that I forgot to RSVP just made it worse. I need to use my phone's calendar more & ask my husband to step up and do some things himself. Thanks Ange xx
  • UnicornkissesUnicornkisses Central CoastMember Posts: 401
    I have one of those magnetic boards that goes on the fridge as well as a work diary and a home diary, it might seem like overkill, but if it isn't written down I will forget it.
    The magnetic fridge calendar came from BigW and has been the best thing, space to write most appointments and other important events. I check it several times a day. 
    It didn't save me today though when the diligently written list of all my medications with dose etc was left on the bench when I went to the hospital for screening for the Pallas trial. SIGH!
    I took every other bit of paperwork.
  • Brenda5Brenda5 Burrum Heads, QldMember Posts: 2,236
    We have a big old paper calendar on the way in to the kitchen. Every appointment for all of us, birthdays, even bird migrations gets put in there. 
    You are like me now, just quirky. Its the way we currently are and the rest of the world just has to accept that. Hugz <3
  • RachwllmsRachwllms Member Posts: 22
    Oh thank goodness it isn't just me !! I have been forgetting everything. I have a diary now but forget to write in that ..
  • jenajena Ashby NSWMember Posts: 82
    edited November 2017
    It is more than evident that you are not alone @angg66!  Because I forget so many thing I also use my iPhone calendar with 2 alerts and alarms. I have alarms for all my meds and supplements and anything I must remember on a given day - my partner’s sweet ’revenge’ for the constant alarms is to sings or hum the tunes - certainly makes me laugh & motivates me to change the tones regularly. Some days I’m so forgetful I turn off the alarm, finish what I’m doing ........ alarm task forgotten. :/   I am learning to make better use of the snooze button.  
    I appreciate you must feel especially frustrated when forgetting has an impact on your kids but I’m sure they understand. My only suggestion, like those above, is to lighten your load and get other family members to fill in the gaps. And use your phones alarms and alerts. 
    sending warms hugs 
  • socodasocoda LeumeahMember Posts: 1,773
    Hey @Angg66, don't be so hard on yourself! I was told by my oncologist to start using a brain training app. So I have downloaded the ELEVATE app. It is free and is a series of games that take about 5 minutes a day. I've gone from walking into a room about 17 times and forgetting what I was there for to remembering while I'm still in the room - WOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!  My capacity to remember things feels like it has returned to normal levels - don't get me wrong I still forget things but I no longer am driving myself totally stark raving insane by constantly forgetting things, and I do have lists of things to do on my phone and action alarms as soon as they go off. But sooooooo much better than before the app. Xx Cath
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