1 week
This time last week I was writting a little ditty about chocolate and chemo. What a week its been since then. So last monday I had my first chemo treatment. Breezed through the process with no allergic affects which the pharmacist was happy about as I can't have phenergan as I have a anaphylaxis reaction to and have generally spent most of my life avoiding anti-hystamines. 5 hours later I'm home thinking this is pretty cruisy I am going to be one of the lucky ones and even had a burst of energy and cleared the coffee table of paperwork (I only moved it to the dinner table - but it was the thought that counted).
I wandered of to work the next 2 days feeling ok. Well after a long day of interviewing on the Wednesday I crashed that night and pretty much woke up to find it was Friday and getting out of bed was not achievable. I didn't just hit the proverbial brick wall I also fell under it with it collapsing on top of me.
Fast forward and its Sunday. Achievement for the day was I made it to the shower after 4 days cause I was starting to pong. Have to say it was hard work getting dried and dressed after it but at least I smelt good again.
My taste buds are wonky, my mouth is slothing skin, I'm shaky and weak, my bones feel like they are going through the blender, I have ulcers in my throat but I still have my hair :-). Well at least for another 7 days or so I'm told.
Being the eternal optimist or just plain stubborn I will be getting up in the morning to go to work. I may only make it for a few hours but for me thats normality and I desperately need some normality.
In this day an age the fact that the treatment is so much awful than the illness defies logic. I understand the procress as I have a scientist's brain but geez I have had to spend the week telling my brain I have to be this sick so that I can be healthy again. Then I explain to my brain I was actually quite healthy up until a week ago. Pfft my brain and I have some interesting conversations at times lol.
Anyway I know this is a journey of stamina not speed so I figure I will probably have quite a few more debates with myself until this particular phase is over.
My mum is a breast cancer survivor and I will be to but god its bloody hard work but I will take the achievements as they happen and celebrate that today I am clean, jarmies changed, moved from the bed to the couch and enjoying some cooling and soothing orange jelly.
Happy mother's day
Comments
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Tess, you've said the very thing I've been thinking of, as I maybe have to face chemo. It means being made much sicker and more helpless that one's ever been, as the price for becoming healthy. Only a couple of months ago, I had open-heart surgery to have a failing congenitally ill-formed heart valve replaced. After reading your later post about your first week's experience of chemo, everything connected with the open-heart surgery was a piece of cake by comparison. Sure there were discomforts (but not really pain) in the first week after the operation, but I could happily wander around the wards. Best thing was that every single day, I could feel the gradual return to health. Two months on, I got a great report.... and was signed off... by both the cardiologist and the surgeon. Then a lump was found in my left breast... and I've found myself in the world of breast cancer. It amazes me how different everyone's experiences of chemotherapy have been. Some seem to go through, having side effects, but they're manageable. Others seem to be wiped out as if they've been machine gunned. My question is how do people keep finding a way through it, when for some of them, they're not even able to wallk.... like you go wiped for days. Does it get better as the person's body adjusts to the particular chemo?
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Tess, you've said the very thing I've been thinking of, as I maybe have to face chemo. It means being made much sicker and more helpless that one's ever been, as the price for becoming healthy. Only a couple of months ago, I had open-heart surgery to have a failing congenitally ill-formed heart valve replaced. After reading your later post about your first week's experience of chemo, everything connected with the open-heart surgery was a piece of cake by comparison. Sure there were discomforts (but not really pain) in the first week after the operation, but I could happily wander around the wards. Best thing was that every single day, I could feel the gradual return to health. Two months on, I got a great report.... and was signed off... by both the cardiologist and the surgeon. Then a lump was found in my left breast... and I've found myself in the world of breast cancer. It amazes me how different everyone's experiences of chemotherapy have been. Some seem to go through, having side effects, but they're manageable. Others seem to be wiped out as if they've been machine gunned. My question is how do people keep finding a way through it, when for some of them, they're not even able to wallk.... like you go wiped for days. Does it get better as the person's body adjusts to the particular chemo?
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As you know not everyone suffers the same side effects or suffers them to the same degree. It does also depend on which chemo drugs you have.
Most of the time you only experience the worst effects from about day 3 (when you stop taking the steriods that help your body cope) for a few days. Apparently most of the chemo drugs are out of your system within 48 hours but the rest can take about a week to completely go. It varies a lot but most people get through it ok.
For me, I had 3 rounds of FEC and then 3 rounds of Docetaxel. FEC was ok for me with just some nausea and tiredness. Docetaxel knocked me off my feet for the first round and generally kept me feeling under the weather for about 2 weeks each 3 week cycle.
But it has given me a much better chance of never having to face a recurrence. 6 months later I am fitter and healthier than ever. Just did the Mother's Day Classic yesterday! You do get through it and life can be better than ever. Take care. Deanne xxx0 -
Well done for surviving the first one. You just have to give in and rest sometimes. Hope work is ok for you today! Take care. Deanne xxx0
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Well done for surviving the first one. You just have to give in and rest sometimes. Hope work is ok for you today! Take care. Deanne xxx0
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I just want to agree with Deanne,that everyone has different reactions,depending on a whole range of things.I ONLY had Docetaxel,and found it pretty good.Yes I had tiredness,a yucky tasting mouth,a bit of a rash and so on.BUT...most of these things can be treated; you just have to let your oncologist know.For me,I was probably wiped out( by this I mean extremely tired throughout the day) from day 5 to about 10, but apart from that,I was OK.I walked EVERY day,and this definitely helps with your overall feeling of well being.Take care xoxRobyn0
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I just want to agree with Deanne,that everyone has different reactions,depending on a whole range of things.I ONLY had Docetaxel,and found it pretty good.Yes I had tiredness,a yucky tasting mouth,a bit of a rash and so on.BUT...most of these things can be treated; you just have to let your oncologist know.For me,I was probably wiped out( by this I mean extremely tired throughout the day) from day 5 to about 10, but apart from that,I was OK.I walked EVERY day,and this definitely helps with your overall feeling of well being.Take care xoxRobyn0
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Thank you, Deanne and Robyn. You are reassuring.
My concerns are very logisitical. How can I look after myself independently and travel to get to the chemo appointments if I'm in such a wiped out state that I can't walk or drive safely. I live alone and my lovely family is 6 hours drive away. I have some wonderful friends who supported greatly, as they could manage, during the heart surgery. The worst parts (which were not really bad at all) happened only during the 9 days I was safely in hospital. But the chemo treatments are not over so quickly and are on an outpatient basis... which means physically getting there over long periods of time. Even looking after the 3 pets concerns me (they were safely in kennels for the 9 days.)
But I don't want to take the centre stage. This is Tess's blog and she's started on her journey ... which may have all sorts of differences from mine and from others, as you both point out. And she needs the reassurance about how well and valiantly she's started off .... brick wall on top of her and all! I'm gobsmacked at the amazing support other women on this site offer to each other. Full of empathy and practical information. Truly wind beneath our wings!
Tess, I think you're an inspiration with your determined stubborness to get through and your great sense of humour and a sharp mind. Thank you again for sharing and please keep us updated. My warmest best wishes and admiration are coming to you!
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Thank you, Deanne and Robyn. You are reassuring.
My concerns are very logisitical. How can I look after myself independently and travel to get to the chemo appointments if I'm in such a wiped out state that I can't walk or drive safely. I live alone and my lovely family is 6 hours drive away. I have some wonderful friends who supported greatly, as they could manage, during the heart surgery. The worst parts (which were not really bad at all) happened only during the 9 days I was safely in hospital. But the chemo treatments are not over so quickly and are on an outpatient basis... which means physically getting there over long periods of time. Even looking after the 3 pets concerns me (they were safely in kennels for the 9 days.)
But I don't want to take the centre stage. This is Tess's blog and she's started on her journey ... which may have all sorts of differences from mine and from others, as you both point out. And she needs the reassurance about how well and valiantly she's started off .... brick wall on top of her and all! I'm gobsmacked at the amazing support other women on this site offer to each other. Full of empathy and practical information. Truly wind beneath our wings!
Tess, I think you're an inspiration with your determined stubborness to get through and your great sense of humour and a sharp mind. Thank you again for sharing and please keep us updated. My warmest best wishes and admiration are coming to you!
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Mita,try to remember,that chemo is done in cycles.Usually,every 3 weeks.For the first 3or 4 days after chemo,you feel pretty good,because of the medicine they give you.Then for about another 4 or 5 days,you usually feel pretty tired.This is when you may have mouth ulcers, rash,constipation etc.Nothing that usually can't be fixed by medication.Then days 9 to 14 you FEEL good,but you have to stay away from crowds,public transport etc.cause your immunity is at it's lowest.The 3 rd week,you feel back to normal,and can rush around and catch up with everything and everyone!!!Then it all starts again.Once you get into the routine,it's not too bad.At least that's how it was for me.Cheers Robyn0
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I look forward to it as taste buds re appear although I cannot eat any red meat as it's the only thing that still tastes disgusting. But as I move to round 5 and in my week 3 again of round 4 I find my bones ache dreadfull, I can walk but it takes me ages to get going and I am just wiped out, I also get mentally very down as I prepare for the next round. thank god I only have 2 more to go.
Tess you can ask to come off the steroids as I did after round 2 and take Olanzapine instead. It does mean day 2 you are very tired but on steroids I was racing around for days without any sleep but never crashed as I just could not sleep. It was mentally very concerning as I started to halucinate and pyanoid.
All the best for Round 2
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I finished my chemo in early March, what you described is exactly how I felt for the last 3 treatments (Docetaxol). I kept reading that I should be walking and exercising, however, I couldn't get out of bed either. I started to feel that maybe I was a weaker person or a sook because I could just not function as well as I thought other people were coping. In hindsight, I understand that everybody is so different that there is no standard way of coping. You are so right in taking the achievements as they come and enjoying the good days. During the process we all do what we can to get through, you will too. Taking one day at a time is the best thing to do, best wishes to you,
Hazel xx
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I'm sure we are not taking over Tess's blog.It often happens like this.For your mouth,Biotene toothpaste and mouthwash from the chemist.A bit pricey but it's great.For,your skin,MooGoo cream.I got given my first tube at RPA in Sydney,which is where I had my chemo.I just kept on buying it.You can use it all over ,from your face to your feet ! As for constipation,nausea etc.the hospital will give you all that when you have your chemo.And walk,walk,walk.
:):)xoxRobyn 0 -
I was like you and I wondered what hit me, I worked up to my 2nd chemo but I was just not able to after that. I found that I had basically 3 good days, about 7 bad ones and then moved onto the rest being average. The fatigue and bone pains were the killers for me.
Just be careful on the sleep as you will dehydrate, my husband left me to sleep thinking it was best ahh no, I ended up in hospital.
Take care it does eventlually finish and become just a distant memory.
Donna
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Thanks again, Robyn. Two more entries for my resource book!
And, Donna, good tip about how easy it is to get dehydrated. Now I know why I keep coming across advice to consistently drink 8 glasses of water per day.
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