Working & concentrating

Hi Alan,

I am just jumping in at the end of this post and the warm welcomes.

I am not sure if you have ordered a copy of the My Journey Kit? It's a free, information resource for those newly diagnosed. While we refer to women with breast cancer throughout this publication, much of the information will be helpful to you. You can order the kit online, or by phoning 1800 500 258.

~Daina

You are very welcome to any help we can offer. I am glad that you have decided to join this network and talk about what you face. Needless to say this decease is not gender specific and if more men like you share your experiences, the so called stigma of male breast cancer will disappear. So good on you Alan. Love Janey xxx

Glad to hear that you will not be facing Chemo or radiation. No matter what stage you are at when diagnosed we all face the shock and fear of the unknown that comes with cancer. I saw a story recently (probably during breast awareness month) about a young Dad diagnosed with BC. It highlighted the unfortunate fact that many men do not pick it up early and consequently often face more advanced cancer treatment. I'm glad that you are not in that situation. I guess with the family history you will all be going through that nagging fear that others may have to face this dreadful disease in the future. Living with that hovering in the background would be unsettling. Hope that your surgery goes well and you are soon on the road to recovery. Let us know how you go. Deanne

Many thanks to you all. I really appreciate your insights, and I'm sorry it's taken me a while to respond (wrote my password down at work, then forgot it. Told you my head was in a mess).

At home last night I remembered about 10 things I had promised to do or should have initiated during the day and just didn't. I'm a solicitor, so there's a few problems looming for me if I can't get focussed.

I'm really appreciating the value of communicating with people who have faced the diagnosis and surgery. Talking about personal health issues generally is something which does not come easily to males, and breast cancer is pretty rare for us. I wouldn't expect to be able to talk with many men with your experience, so thank you all.

We have had a number of long term friends who have had breast cancer over the last few years, and last night I talked for a long time with one of them who has had both breasts removed in separate operations a few years apart. She was amazing, very forthright about the challenges she's faced and her strategies to overcome them.

Hazel, I sent a message to my nephews and nieces last night to let them know what was happening and to encourage them to have regular checks. My mother had a mastectomy when she was 55, and it recurred when she was 80 and claimed her life, so there's a bit of family history they will all have to have regard for.

Deanne, many thanks for the good practical advice. I hadn't started to consider those sort of things yet. I'll stock up on flannelette shirts - pity it's summer.

Robyn, also great advice. Didn't know about the water and will prepare. I love to read and am looking forward to catching up on a few detective novels that have been waiting for me.

Janey, many thanks. My wife and I were actually on a week's holiday in Noosa when the GP called with the biopsy results, and we had a day or so to get used to the idea before our daughter arrived. This meant we were able to spend some quiet time with her rather than the usual rush (she's got a 3 month old son and lives in Canberra , we're in Sydney). Our son (age 28) was particularly disturbed by the news and has taken it very hard.

I'm really fortunate in that it's been detected early and has not invaded, so it's a Ductal Carcinoma in Situ (DCIS). Nonetheless it seems mastectomy is the best option for me, but I'm not going to need to have chemo or radiotherapy. I remember my Mum having awful burns after her radiotherapy, and while I know the treatment has been refined and improved enormously since she had it in 1962, the memory is still there.

Alan  

As Deanne and Robyn say, exercise is so important. My oncologist told me she'd like me to walk for 45 minutes to a hour every day. I'm managing 30 minutes right now but I will build up time when I am able. I live in a very hilly area so I'm lucky I have a treadmill at home. It's probably the best thing I ever bought. The girls have already given you some really good advice about preparing for your operation. I would add that I took in headphones and some of my favourite music. It helped me tune out what was going on around me and helped me relax. I just closed my eyes. Hazel mentioned the difficulty of telling people around you about your diagnosis and I agree. It was probably the toughest time emotionally for me through this whole journey. My husband was with me for my diagnosis but I found it extremely hard telling my two children, my mother and my sisters. I think seeing their reaction was somehow worse than my own. Give your family time though and they will rally and things will calm down. I didn't work through my treatments but I keep in contact with those work colleagues I want to and sent a group email of my progress to others from time to time. In the end I was very chuffed at the good wishes and support I received from everyone at work. But I did end up consoling some of them and trying to keep a brave face on things. Especially when some well meaning but misguided people would keep telling me stories of people they knew who 'died'. I found that so irritating. I know what you mean about this messing with your head. It's such a whirlwind of information you have to take in at first. But believe it or not things will settle down and you will get through it all. You can vent and rant or just put down your thoughts here and we will be listening. We will hold your hand. Love Janey xxx

It is so true,the time before treatment is definitely the hardest.Like Deanne said,use it to get ready.Things I did were: Button up PJ's,soft singlet tops to wear under my PJ's and shirts(because in the beginning clothes can rub on your wound)I bought a GOOD drink bottle,because you have to drink so much water.I made sure I had a couple of books to read,and I also bought some crossword books(something that I don't ever do) I bought MooGoo wash,which has been great in the shower,as I didn't want to irritate my wound with soap.I am still using it,as my skin is dry from chemo.I bought a boomerang pillow,as when you first come home,you have to sleep on your back for a while,and this helped.i have definitely been eating really well.Drink only water,and I walk every day.My oncologist said to me,don't stop walking!I believe it is the one thing that has helped me in all of this.I walk 1.5 k. on a fitness trail near where we live.I hope this is some help to you.Take care and keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.xoxoxoRobyn.

It is so true,the time before treatment is definitely the hardest.Like Deanne said,use it to get ready.Things I did were: Button up PJ's,soft singlet tops to wear under my PJ's and shirts(because in the beginning clothes can rub on your wound)I bought a GOOD drink bottle,because you have to drink so much water.I made sure I had a couple of books to read,and I also bought some crossword books(something that I don't ever do) I bought MooGoo wash,which has been great in the shower,as I didn't want to irritate my wound with soap.I am still using it,as my skin is dry from chemo.I bought a boomerang pillow,as when you first come home,you have to sleep on your back for a while,and this helped.i have definitely been eating really well.Drink only water,and I walk every day.My oncologist said to me,don't stop walking!I believe it is the one thing that has helped me in all of this.I walk 1.5 k. on a fitness trail near where we live.I hope this is some help to you.Take care and keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.xoxoxoRobyn.

The time of diagnosis prior to starting treatment is the toughest part of this process. I concentrated on preparing as much as possible for my mastectomy surgery. I tried to get everything sorted, went and purchased some practical clothes (singlets and button-up shirts/pjs) and toiletries and like you, concentrated on eating healthy and exercising. Exercising really helps with the stress too! It is emotional time telling others about your diagnosis and dealing with their reactions also. I hope you have some good support around you. I found I needed to take someone with me to appointments as my head was all over the place. Write down questions and info,this helps. I found the ladies on here an invaluable source of support and advice. Hope things go as well as they can for you. Let us know how you go. Take care. Deanne xxx

I can understand your head being messed up, once the diagnosis has been made. I worked for a while, then found i couldn't concentrate. I found telling people very difficult, i always ended up patting them on the back and telling them it was going to be ok. Sounds like a good project, getting fit before surgery. All the best, 

Hazel xx