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Jesslin's avatar
Jesslin
Member
12 years ago

New to blogging

Hi ladies

Well this is my very first blogg anywhere.(yes I am one of the very few people that do not have a facebook account.lol).

When I was diagnosed with BC last September I came upon this site and reading other peoples stories has helped me through. Even though at the time I didn't feel comfortable blogging myself

Well this is my story. I was diagnosed last September, I had a couple of tumors, the largest 8.3cm, grade3 and stage 3.

I was 10 years old when my mother passed away from breast cancer and I remember vividly the struggle she went through with treatment.

I am a mother of a 6 year old daughter myself and being diagnosed was devasting to say the least. But once the shock had passed I went into survival mode.

I had a mastectomy, followed by AC dose dense chemo and paclitaxel and then radiation therapy. I finished my treatment end of May this year and started Tamoxifen in June.

My treatment wasn't too bad,I had several hospital stays due to neutropenia and fever, 8 blood transfusions and the usual, loss of hair, fatigue,mouth sores etc, but I got through it

I am generally a very positive and strong person and this had helped me through. I knew that I had to have the treatment, but I also knew that any side effects would eventually pass and that life would return to normal, all be it a different type of normal.

However, unfortunately I have been getting a few side effects from the Tamoxifen, initally daily headaches, but thankfully these past , then I started getting weakness in my muscles, pain in my hands and feet, muscle spasms, sharp stabbing pains, lightheadedness and the usual menopausal symptoms, hot flushes, no libido ( thankfully I have a very understanding husband.lol)

At the moment these side effects are relatively mild and are not effecting my daily activities too much, however, my fear is that these symptoms will continue to progress, its only been five months since I started on Tamaoxifen and each week seams to bring something new.

I think I am struggling with the fact that the normal that I was expecting is not reality, I am finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that I will not be the same fit and healthy person that I was.

Would love to hear from anyone else that feels the same.

xx

 

 

 

4 Replies

  • Janey235's avatar
    Janey235
    Member
    12 years ago
    Sorry for calling you Jess :) Yes it is hard to adjust to how our bodies have changed. I can't help focusing on the scars but it's only early days really and in a year or two I'm hoping that they will have faded. My mum mentioned that I should do Tai Chi so I might look into that. I spent several months deciding whether to have reconstruction and also whether to have my healthy breast removed. I knew that I would be putting myself through a lot more trauma and I wasn't sure I could. But I finally decided that I couldn't face having the scars without having breasts to show for it if you know what I mean and I wanted to get everything over with rather than wait. Looks like I'm going to have to wait anyway for the final surgery. Oh well. Like you I'm too scared not to take the hormone tablets for fear of having it come back again so I believe the 5 to 10 years is the lesser of the two evils. Take care and keep having those 'me' times. Love Janey xxx
  • Janey235's avatar
    Janey235
    Member
    12 years ago
    Sorry for calling you Jess :) Yes it is hard to adjust to how our bodies have changed. I can't help focusing on the scars but it's only early days really and in a year or two I'm hoping that they will have faded. My mum mentioned that I should do Tai Chi so I might look into that. I spent several months deciding whether to have reconstruction and also whether to have my healthy breast removed. I knew that I would be putting myself through a lot more trauma and I wasn't sure I could. But I finally decided that I couldn't face having the scars without having breasts to show for it if you know what I mean and I wanted to get everything over with rather than wait. Looks like I'm going to have to wait anyway for the final surgery. Oh well. Like you I'm too scared not to take the hormone tablets for fear of having it come back again so I believe the 5 to 10 years is the lesser of the two evils. Take care and keep having those 'me' times. Love Janey xxx
  • Jesslin's avatar
    Jesslin
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hi Janey

    Thank you for your reply.  Firstly I must appologise for not putting my name on my blogg, still new to all this.  My name is Linda.

    You are right in saying that we need to give ourselves time.  Our bodies are amazing things, but they have been through so much. I am probably exepecting to much of myself, I have always been a fit and healthy person, its just been a little hard to adjust to the new current me.

    As you say take one day at a time.  I do Tai Chi several times a week, which is helping me get my fitness back and is me time. I think it is important to have some me time, especially when you have a  young family.

    I have chosen at this stage not to have a reconstruction, I didn't want to put my body through any further trauma and my body image doesn't bother me or my family.  I may change my mind later, only time will tell.

    Sorry to read that you too are having problems with the hormone therapy.  Its frieghtning to think that we may have these symptons for the next 5 to 10 years, but I think the risk of coming off the drugs and having the cancer return is, for me, too high.  I guess I should be grateful that the drugs are available to help me survive this terrible disease.

    I hope your symptoms do subside for you Janey and wish you all the best with your continued treatment. I look forward to reading how your journey continues.

    Love Linda  xx

     

     

     

  • Janey235's avatar
    Janey235
    Member
    12 years ago
    Is it Jess? Welcome to this fantastic network. I was like you with no experience with Facebook or anything and it took me a few months to get up the nerve to use this blog. But when I did I found it invaluable. I have kept my sanity by reading all the blogs from women who were inspirational and so so supportive of each other and now of me. Who understood exactly what I was going through having walked in my shoes. I'm so glad I did find BCNA and started posting. Yes I am in about the same position as you having been diagnosed just before last Christmas with two lumps, one triple negative and one triple positive so I had a lumpectomy followed by chemo followed by mastectomy and immediate reconstruction and I'm still having a few health issues, but they are under control. I'm still having three weekly Herceptin intravenously and I've been on Femara for a few months now which I'll continue for 5 to 10 years. Femara is the post menopausal equivalent of Tamoxifen if you didn't know already. I had forced menopause from chemo but I was peri menopausal just before my diagnosis. I have been experiencing increasing side effects of insomnia, headaches, dryness, bone aches and continuing neuropathy in my hands and feet (left over from chemo), hot flushes, irritability etc. and like you I have an understanding husband because when it comes to it, what sex life! I have talked with my Oncologist and she wants me to persevere for the next 12 to 18 months. Then she says the symptoms should settle down. I'm willing to give it this time as long as the symptoms don't worsen too much. I'm not looking forward to the summer though at all! I'm trying to walk every day and do weight bearing exercises at least once every week. I'm drinking plenty of water, a new habit from the chemo (I never drank enough water before) and eating a healthy diet, mostly. I guess that's all I can do for the time being. I'll have to wait and see but we are all used to the waiting game on this journey aren't we. I think you're right that we don't go back to 'normal' after BC but I'm accepting a new normal now and hoping that every day I will improve in strength and gradually get my energy back. I've learnt to take things one day at a time. At least I can say that the cancer is gone. I guess it will take time for me to fully recover from all the crap that my body has gone through this year. I'm giving myself another year to find my new 'old self' as there will still be adjusting to do with returning to work, losing some weight, getting fit again but I have no doubt that I will get there. I hope your symptoms stay mild Jess. You sound like a very strong woman especially losing your mother at such a young age. It must have been such an awful thing to hear that you also had your mother's diagnosis. Give yourself some more time Jess. I'm sure you will find your new normal will be better and better. Love Janey xxx