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Finding love again

donnardonnar Member Posts: 61
edited August 2012 in General discussion
Hello everyone,

Was wondering if anyone has found it difficult to start a new relationship since breast cancer. I'm trying not to over think it but it scares me to think it could be a possibility. I think it's got to me a bit following an innocent comment from a friend that now I have no breast and experienced cancer this would scare potential partners.

My confidence since this journey began has taken a beating and I'm trying not to dwell on it and look at the positives. Going through this as a single woman has been the hardest thing I've ever experienced. Ive missed having a companion to share my fears and lean on. Thank goodness I've a very strong network of friends who have helped me through with the odd ones who can say some hurtful things without thinking.. No bloody idea!

Thank goodness for this site where you get to rant and rave.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts
Love, Donna xox

Comments

  • chipmunkchipmunk Member Posts: 280
    edited March 2015
    Looking at you profile picture you are a stunner.
    You will definitely find someone..... People don't look at just the outside of people but also the inside. And you have a heart of GOLD.
    Comments from friends like that, you shouldn't take to heart. You know yourself and what you have achieved and gone through since having BC. So you are a strong, courageous person.
    love Julie xx
  • Kerry23Kerry23 Member Posts: 27
    edited March 2015

    Donna,

    You are beautiful, you are unique and you are amazing - Never forget that and smile everyday because your smile lights up your face & therefore everyone else's that sees that gorgeous smile of yours.

    Dont dwell on your cancer - live life & let the world see you surge ahead.

    That special someone is out there.

    Hugzzz  Kerry

  • Kerry23Kerry23 Member Posts: 27
    edited March 2015

    Donna,

    You are beautiful, you are unique and you are amazing - Never forget that and smile everyday because your smile lights up your face & therefore everyone else's that sees that gorgeous smile of yours.

    Dont dwell on your cancer - live life & let the world see you surge ahead.

    That special someone is out there.

    Hugzzz  Kerry

  • FDFD Member Posts: 139
    edited March 2015

    Anyone scared of a cancer diagnosis is human. Anyone using a cancer diagnosis as a marker as to whether or not to enter a relationship is ignorant, rather shallow and no where near strong enough to partner anyone who has travelled the journey. Never mind whether they would want you, would you want them? Although breasts can provide both visual and physical stimulation they account for an extremely small part of any relationship. In my case they weren't much to look at prior anyway. When you are ready and you do find that special someone find comfort in knowing they are there for you inside and out. Eventually all parts of our body age boobs and all on everyone breast cancer or not!!! You are gorgeous and deserve only the best :0) Laraxx

  • LyndaLynda Member Posts: 14
    edited March 2015

    Hi Donna.  Don't listen to unhepful and hurtful comments like that.  People who says those things aren't thinking of the impact that has.  You are a strong and independant woman and have got through this cancer treatment by yourself.  People love you for what's inside, not the physical you.  Someone who focuses on that isn't worth the effort.  Be yourself - that is was will attract people, and if they like you, they will see past your surgery. Good luck!!

  • LyndaLynda Member Posts: 14
    edited March 2015

    Hi Donna.  Don't listen to unhepful and hurtful comments like that.  People who says those things aren't thinking of the impact that has.  You are a strong and independant woman and have got through this cancer treatment by yourself.  People love you for what's inside, not the physical you.  Someone who focuses on that isn't worth the effort.  Be yourself - that is was will attract people, and if they like you, they will see past your surgery. Good luck!!

  • donnardonnar Member Posts: 61
    edited March 2015
    Thank you so much Julie, Kerry, FD and Lynda, you have really helped to lift my spirits. Such lovely advice and encoroughment. I finished my last lot of treatments on Friday ( radiotheraphy) and I've taken myself on a drive to visit family and friends in Adelaide. The drive over was a nice way to kind of reflect on it all. Im taking comfort in knowing that what I and all of us have been through is now part of who we are. When I get low which I'm sure will happen from time to time I'm just so glad we have this site to go to. Thank you, love, Donna xox
  • lanilumps71lanilumps71 Member Posts: 66
    edited March 2015

    Would rather have a partner with some substance that will be with me through lifes tests.. not just the good times!! Breast cancer is not who you are! Its just an unfortunate thing that has happened to your body! A real man of worth will appreciate that!! xx 

  • TonyaMTonyaM Member Posts: 2,745
    edited March 2015

    When I met my husband 34 years ago,I fell in love with "him".It was many months down the track before I got to see his bare chest and he had a huge scar on the left side.It was where he had had a large benign tumour removed. It made no difference to me cos I already loved him. I know it's a little different for women losing a breast but I don't think it would be a topic of conversation at first. You would get to know each other first and if the breast cancer thing bothered him when you told him then he is not worthy of your love .It shakes our confidence when we lose a boob and our hair but get back on that perch girl and don't let anybody ruffle your feathers!You look like a beautiful person with a great smile.

                                 Tonya xx

  • TonyaMTonyaM Member Posts: 2,745
    edited March 2015

    When I met my husband 34 years ago,I fell in love with "him".It was many months down the track before I got to see his bare chest and he had a huge scar on the left side.It was where he had had a large benign tumour removed. It made no difference to me cos I already loved him. I know it's a little different for women losing a breast but I don't think it would be a topic of conversation at first. You would get to know each other first and if the breast cancer thing bothered him when you told him then he is not worthy of your love .It shakes our confidence when we lose a boob and our hair but get back on that perch girl and don't let anybody ruffle your feathers!You look like a beautiful person with a great smile.

                                 Tonya xx

  • TonyaMTonyaM Member Posts: 2,745
    edited March 2015

    When I met my husband 34 years ago,I fell in love with "him".It was many months down the track before I got to see his bare chest and he had a huge scar on the left side.It was where he had had a large benign tumour removed. It made no difference to me cos I already loved him. I know it's a little different for women losing a breast but I don't think it would be a topic of conversation at first. You would get to know each other first and if the breast cancer thing bothered him when you told him then he is not worthy of your love .It shakes our confidence when we lose a boob and our hair but get back on that perch girl and don't let anybody ruffle your feathers!You look like a beautiful person with a great smile.

                                 Tonya xx

  • FranPFranP Howqua Inlet. VicMember Posts: 396
    edited March 2015

    Hi lady sorry havent gotten back sooner. been a lot slack . but please don't feel like this we are so so much more than just a boob or hair and if a person loves or cares for you they don't look at that they see the whole person inside and out. 

    a boob does not a person make . you are so pretty and some one special well see that. xxx Fran

  • FranPFranP Howqua Inlet. VicMember Posts: 396
    edited March 2015

    Hi lady sorry havent gotten back sooner. been a lot slack . but please don't feel like this we are so so much more than just a boob or hair and if a person loves or cares for you they don't look at that they see the whole person inside and out. 

    a boob does not a person make . you are so pretty and some one special well see that. xxx Fran

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