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Support for carers in Melbourne

Hi all,

My wife has been diagnosed 21 days ago with an aggressive TNBC and is already a week into chemo. The whole thing is a whirlwind and I am really struggling even though I am grateful for the support we have around us. We have small kids and even though I was already the primary care giver in the family (I've always supported my wife in her career) for then I am finding it tough. I just wish I had another carer I could talk to face to face about it. Is there anywhere husbands of BC warriors can just chat? Not sure anything like that exists in Melbourne or even Australia. There are some amazing organizations in the USA, but seems limited in this country.

Thanks for reading and wishing all you ladies the best 

Comments

  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 6,249
    @tnbcaupporter ... I am so sorry to hear of your wife's diagnosis and the obvious stress that you are now under as the primary care giver - and the impact on the family as a unit. 

    Well done on reaching out to our group for support of yourself and your wife and your kids. xx. 

    We have a Carer's Group here (click the 'Groups' in the Blue Banner and apply to join) where different issues re caring can be raised ..... you can raise ANY topic there.

    We also have a Young Women's group as well - that you could join & may be able to get info there as well .... 

    Have you been signed up by the Gov as an 'official carer' for your wife?  Your GP should be able to sign off on that.  She may also be eligible for NDIS assistance as a younger woman - to help set the home up as 'user friendly' as the time goes on - speak to your GP about that as well.

    I am not sure about a national or state group re husbands as carers - but there are numerous 'carer forums' that may be of assistance to you. 
    Carer Gateway Australia
    https://www.carergateway.gov.au/

    Also, contact Cancer Council Victoria - they may be able to guide you to specific groups (assuming you live in Vic?  You can add your 'general location' to your Profile) We may have members nearby to form a mini support group xx
    https://www.cancervic.org.au/

    CancerVic also have a 'holiday program' (similar to the Otis Foundation), which operates in all states: http://www.otisfoundation.org.au/) whereby families can get away on a 'free holiday' .... definitely worth checking out both options (even tho the CancerVic program is on hold just now - but hopefully kickstarting again soon!)  
    https://www.cancervic.org.au/get-support/holiday-break-program

    There are also groups that may be able to help with your kids too - support and even outings for older kids  ... and even how to discuss cancer with them
    https://www.cancer.org.au/cancer-information/types-of-cancer/childhood-cancers/talking-to-kids-about-cancer

    Our thoughts are with you all just now - and all the best as you navigate your way thru the coming months. 

    take care xx
  • tnbcaupportertnbcaupporter Member Posts: 2 New Member
    Thank you for the extensive reply.
  • Julez1958Julez1958 SydneyMember Posts: 551
    Hi there just wanted to say well done for reaching out on this forum.
    You will get a lot of good information and support on here and on this website generally.
    In some ways it is actually harder for the carer to deal with the whole breast cancer “ journey” as you are watching your loved one go through this and you can’t “ fix” it.
    One of the most memorable ( and heartbreaking) moments of my breast cancer experience was the night my husband cried - he is such a rock ( I am the cry baby in the relationship).
    Having him support me through the whole thing has been very special and brought home the whole “ in sickness and in health” vow of marriage.
    One word of advice - sometimes in my distressed state I wasn’t a very nice person and I’m afraid to say I did end one argument with the statement “ YOU aren’t the one with cancer!”.
    Hooking up with other carers  is a great idea and the main thing is to give lots of cuddles ( actual and virtual).
    Take care.
    🌺
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 5,149
    https://www.ndis.gov.au/

    Check the link above Am I eligible?

    I have just been successful as a carer for my sister - she's under 65
  • Mez_BCNAMez_BCNA VictoriaAdministrator, Staff, Member, Moderator Posts: 356
    Hi @tnbcaupporter, we are glad you have found the online network and I can see you have been provided with some very valuable resources from our members above.

    I Also wanted to share the BCNA website 'Information for partners', which outlines strategies and supportive resources that you may wish to read about  link https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/talking-to-family-and-friends/information-for-partners/ 

    You may like to listen to the following podcasts and webcasts:

    Episode 10: Stuart Diver on supporting a partner with breast cancer

    You’re important too: looking after yourself as a carer


    The Supporting Blokes group offers support to male partners/carers of women with breast cancer. It gives male partners a chance to share experiences, learn coping strategies and gather information. Light refreshments are provided. The group meets every second Wednesday of the month in the evening at a breast cancer health venue in St Kilda Road. Meetings are free to attend. Call Cancer Council Victoria 13 11 20 for more information and to be put in contact with the group leaders. 

    I am not sure of your children's ages, however if you would like to order hardcopy resource of Medikidz: explaining breast cancer through comic adventures (8-12 years), please phone our Helpline 1800 500 258.

    Please don't hesitate to call our Helpline 1800 500 258 to discuss further.
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