Survivorship
Hello everyone,
I thought I would share with you something I read recently:
"How do you survive cancer? That's the part no one gives you any advice on. What does it mean? Once you finish your treatment, the doctors say, Your're cured, so go off and live. Happy trails. But there is no support system in place to help you deal with the emotional ramifications of trying to return to the world after being in a battle for your existence. You don't just wake up one morning and say, Okay, I'm done with cancer, and now it's time to go right back to the normal life I had."
Lance Armstrong said this about 12 years ago.
I get the feeling nothing much has changed in the medical world and that we're left to pick up the pieces alone after treatment.
So thank you BCNA for providing this network and helping to make a difference in our lives - and thanks to all you lovely, generous ladies - we are our own support system.
Helen
Comments
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Hi helen,
You are spot on! I so agree with your blog. I felt so vulnerable when my doc said 'see ya later"! If it wasn't for this site I think I may well have sunk into the depths of despair!! I am yet to read lance's books, but intend to sooner rather than later.
Thank you to BCNA & it's lovely, strong supportive members who have made my journey & healing easier.
Sam xo0 -
Hi all, I'm in the process of trying to sort out my feelings and wanting to get on with my life too, but it isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I have decided to give up my support group at the hospital, as I have been a regular attendee for 12 months. I think it is time to move on. I also think I should try and limit my time in this site, but I can't see that happening for awhile. The support from here is very different from the hospital group. Don't get me wrong, as the hospital group was good, but I now feel I have to try and move forward, and Helen, Sam and Jo, you are right, it is hard. Thank goodness for this site. Family members think, that now that surgery, chemo and reconstruction are over, then I should be back to normal. I think, to a certain extent that they are correct, so why isn't it the case? I have
never before suffered from depression, but I am
wondering whether these feelings, plus my laziness, inaction, and inability to make even the simplest of
decision is the begining of depression. I don't want to
voice this to a Dr, or family, as I feel I should be so
grateful to be where I am today. Helen, your blog is so
true. Love Chris xx0 -
It is really really hard BUT each of us needs to find our own "piece of peace". Firstly you have to wait until your body heals - this is the hard part as most of us are naturally impatient (me included). I am finding that I have more well days then "off" days and this has a great positive influence on me. Just when I get a "spurt on" I "go back to start" with some other illness. But when I start to feel well again, I pick myself up, shake myself off and "run again". I am hoping that the illness periods get shorter and shorter. Today I had the best day. I had to arrange tradies and be the lead part of the renovation process of our investment house that we are moving into soon. I felt "useful" and valued. For me, it is all about having "things" to look forward to and aiming high. I truly think that once my renos have been completed and we are successfully moved in and have this home sold, I will be looking to return to work in a part-time basis. That will be my return to "normal". I am realistic to understand that whatever job I take on "won't be something that stresses me. It will have to be "nice" but also have some challenge. I do need a good reason to get out of bed each morning. All each of us can do is "keep on going as best we can" in the hope that we can find peace within. I am not religious but I do believe in being as spiritual as I can. XLeonie PS Humour is another avenue that I use as a positive aspect in my life.
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It is really really hard BUT each of us needs to find our own "piece of peace". Firstly you have to wait until your body heals - this is the hard part as most of us are naturally impatient (me included). I am finding that I have more well days then "off" days and this has a great positive influence on me. Just when I get a "spurt on" I "go back to start" with some other illness. But when I start to feel well again, I pick myself up, shake myself off and "run again". I am hoping that the illness periods get shorter and shorter. Today I had the best day. I had to arrange tradies and be the lead part of the renovation process of our investment house that we are moving into soon. I felt "useful" and valued. For me, it is all about having "things" to look forward to and aiming high. I truly think that once my renos have been completed and we are successfully moved in and have this home sold, I will be looking to return to work in a part-time basis. That will be my return to "normal". I am realistic to understand that whatever job I take on "won't be something that stresses me. It will have to be "nice" but also have some challenge. I do need a good reason to get out of bed each morning. All each of us can do is "keep on going as best we can" in the hope that we can find peace within. I am not religious but I do believe in being as spiritual as I can. XLeonie PS Humour is another avenue that I use as a positive aspect in my life.
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Ditto, Well said
Cheers Jo xx
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Lovely to read your heartfelt thoughts. I am amazed at the strengths that come out with this journey.
P.S. Hot day here in northern Tasmania. I feel like I am on the mainland. Kathy. OOXX TC.
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Lovely to read your heartfelt thoughts. I am amazed at the strengths that come out with this journey.
P.S. Hot day here in northern Tasmania. I feel like I am on the mainland. Kathy. OOXX TC.
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Hi Helen, yes you're right, it's up to us to pick up the pieces of our lives alone and try to move on. I dont think we ever really leave BC behind though...I mean how can we? It's such a traumatic, life-changing experience that I believe has scarred me forever. For me there have been some positives though, but certainly a fair share of negatives too. I remember after finishing my treatment for EBC...I felt so alone and lost. I remember thinking...."so now what?"...."what do I do from here?" I felt as though I'd been sucked into the middle of a tornado, shaken violently, and spat out the other side! I never returned to my "normal" life because it didnt exist for me any more. Too much had happened. I was just starting to find a new kind of "normal" when I was unexpectedly diagnosed with seconday cancer....and now I'm back in the tornado, being shaken violently! Helen I think time is a factor, and I also think the support from all these lovely ladies on this site helps to heal the mind and body....you are right....we are our own support system! I believe however, there should be some kind of formal support for women who are completing or have completed treatment, to walk away from the tornado, rather than feeling spat out the other side! In what form this takes I dont know...something to ponder I guess. Take care, Celeste x
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Hi Helen, yes you're right, it's up to us to pick up the pieces of our lives alone and try to move on. I dont think we ever really leave BC behind though...I mean how can we? It's such a traumatic, life-changing experience that I believe has scarred me forever. For me there have been some positives though, but certainly a fair share of negatives too. I remember after finishing my treatment for EBC...I felt so alone and lost. I remember thinking...."so now what?"...."what do I do from here?" I felt as though I'd been sucked into the middle of a tornado, shaken violently, and spat out the other side! I never returned to my "normal" life because it didnt exist for me any more. Too much had happened. I was just starting to find a new kind of "normal" when I was unexpectedly diagnosed with seconday cancer....and now I'm back in the tornado, being shaken violently! Helen I think time is a factor, and I also think the support from all these lovely ladies on this site helps to heal the mind and body....you are right....we are our own support system! I believe however, there should be some kind of formal support for women who are completing or have completed treatment, to walk away from the tornado, rather than feeling spat out the other side! In what form this takes I dont know...something to ponder I guess. Take care, Celeste x
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Hi Celeste, I did do a comment further up but as I read your comment it reminded me of this. I did a "Mindfulness" course after I finished my treatment last year. It was offered by the Queensland Cancer Council. It was all about living in the NOW. It also taught me of many different ways of meditating. Not sure if this course can take all the credit for me being quite relaxed about life now but it certainly got me on the right track. I don't meditate every day (wish I did) but when I feel the need, I do and it certainly "grounds" me. I have learnt to do movement meditation as well and this is very good for balance and stretching. The course was conducted mosly over the phone with link up to others. We had some face to face sessions. I didn't "connect" with anyone in the group but think that it is always nicer to do these kind of sessions face to face in a group. It was a "trial" to see if the course could be offered to the wider community across the rural sector. I feel as I am starting to feel well more often, I am starting to "venture out" a bit more. For instance I am now looking for exercise classes that would be suitable for me whilst still in the recovery stage. I previously loved my personal trianing but am realistic enough to understand that it is still a long way off for me. I was sent some info last evening about a personal training session for over 50's. I am going to give that a go. I like to keep my body in as best shape as possible and with 2011 bc treatment, I have a lot of work to do. I know it will be slow but I have to start. This may not be a priority for you but you may have some other area of interest that you might like to persure. For me it is all about connecting to the "world" in my new way - with some of my old ways. XLeonie
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Hi Leonie, have you enquired at the hospital where you were operated on, for exercise classes? Here in Sydney at the Sydney Adventist Hospital, the physio department run land and water based classes for breast surgery patients. I have attended 2 terms of these, and am eager to start again in a few weeks. Not only have the classes been designed to strengthen all the areas weakened by surgery, but all the ladies are breast cancer survivors. This makes it a great support group as well, and we usually have coffee after. I would be lost without these groups, and there are about 4 sessions per week for both types of classes. There is also Pilates which is run by the same physio, and I will attend those next term once my strenth returns. Love Chris xx0
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No we don't even have an Encore program in Rockhampton. If I was more motivated there is a real opening - I could work with a professional to get things happening. In the meantime I will do the best I can. Lucky you having those classes available to you. Keep on enjoying them. XLeonie
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Yes I am starting as "mindfulness" course in February run by the SA Cancer Council. I've heard it is very good. I meditate whenever I can and really do enjoy it. You are right about connecting to the world in a "new way"...I guess it just takes time to find that "new way". Take care, Celeste ?
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Hi Girls & Celeste,
I too would love to do a course on 'mindfulness'. I'll have a look on their website, or go in to meditation on wed, & look for some info on the course. Sounds great.
Love Sam xo0 -
Hi Sam, the course through the SA Cancer Council starts on 10th Feb at Greenhilld Rd and is free! You should see if you can book in...would love to see you there! Celeste ?
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