Finding ways to support my Indonesian fiancé - I’m a fast learner.

Hello everyone,
I’m looking for some guidance and help. I’m still learning the terms.

My fiancé and I met earlier this year online. We were planning on an engagement and first time to meet in person mid-May in Indonesia where she lives.
I am in Australia, a citizen by birth.
we’re both in our mid-30s.

Three days ago we were diagnosed with breast cancer, after urging her to get a mammogram for ongoing breast pain and a reduction in size in one breast. The doctor didn’t perform a biopsy to send a sample of her lump to pathology, they just told her she has it.

Her church community have told her to fly to Singapore to get an accurate diagnosis and treatment.

I don’t know where to start; I’ve been following the literature from BCNA on taking it one day at a time, not to use ‘Dr. Google’,and to let her take the lead in the kind of help she wants from me, but also to educate her on medical truths that are simply not taught to people there.

I wish I could fly her to Australia to receive the help we have access to here, perhaps I can but I don’t know where to start looking.

Can anyone relate?


  • Cath62
    Cath62 Member Posts: 1,279
    Hi there @Dials_Mavis, I think letting her know how much you care is the main thing. She will appreciate all the support you give her in the decision making she will have to do. I can't imagine your situation so far away but clearly you really love her. Keep telling her that and hopefully she will share this journey with you.  Are you still flying over to meet up. That would be a good time to just be with her. Best of luck 
  • Julez1958
    Julez1958 Member Posts: 1,123
    oh that’s tough
    i would agree the best thing you can do is be there for emotional support
    my husband was my rock for me and I really appreciated all he did 
    and after the surgery ( I had double mastectomy and reconstruction) he said “ your most important organ is your brain”
    but he also said “ the plastic surgeon   did a great job”
    take care 🌺